Uploaded August 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
If their unconscious motives could talk, here's what they'd confess. This walks through the psychological mechanics of falling for a "master": the unlimited praise, the new friends who agree with everything you say, the old friends you cut off for challenging you, and the slow, humiliating realization that you were just copying someone else's confidence instead of building your own.
CHAPTERS
0:00 Initial Vulnerability
0:29 Finding "The Master"
1:04 Embracing the Leader's Message
1:18 Isolation and Alienation
2:16 Doubts Begin
2:57 Growing Disillusionment
3:53 News and Rumors
4:35 Internal Struggle
4:51 Followers Leaving
6:13 The Turning Point
6:42 Acceptance and Moving On
#CultPsychology #Narcissism #GroupPsychology #Manipulation #PersonalGrowth
I'm Jeremy Sherman, PhD, a strategic consultant since 1997, specializing in dealing with jerks and doubts.
For a free trial session, email me at js@jeremysherman.com
𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤: facebook.com/jeremysherm
DEALING WITH JERKS
jerkology.net
BLOG: psychologytoday.com/us/blog/jerkology
BOOK: What's Up With A**holes? How to spot and stop them without becoming one.
https://a.co/d/6QDQwrY
AUDIOBOOK: youtube.com/watch?v=iLerthdU4Jw&t
DEALING WITH DOUBTS
adaptivestrategies.net
BLOG: psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ambigamy
BOOK: Negotiate with Yourself and Win: Doubt Management Skills for People Who Can Hear Themselves Think: https://a.co/d/brJpNli
Though informal, I'll argue that my approach is more scientific than a lot of what passes for big picture science. It is really abstract engineering researchers claiming we've got this or that add-on feature without explaining how we got it. That makes for excellent engineering, but it's no more rigorous than supernatural explanations.
For 30 years, I've worked closely with Harvard/Berkeley biologist/neuroscientist Terrence Deacon on developing fully scientific explanations for phenomena assumed by other researchers.
Some examples:
LIFE'S STRUGGLE FOR EXISTENCE: DNA and natural selection don't explain it. We have an entirely natural explanation for how self-regenerating beings (like us) could emerge from chemistry and evolve (by natural selection) the capacity to use DNA molecules.
MOTIVATION: Psychologists just assume it. When they see effort, they assume a motivation, which is like assuming a "soul." We have an explanation for what effort and motivation physically are: Not something added to chemistry but the way chemistry can limit itself by channeling energy into work to regenerate itself.
NARCISSISM: Psychologists say that if you've got these symptoms, you have a thing called Narcissism. I explain how humans, having evolved language, can imagine the ideal, see where we fall short, and self-idealize to compensate. It's something we all do. I study how it gets out of hand and becomes addictive.
My book on our research: Neither Ghost Nor Machine: The Emergence and Nature of Selves (Columbia University Press, 2017) https://a.co/d/9ZNyT7E
My PhD is in decision science. I'm a soulnerd with a deeply connected heart and head. This stuff is my non-spiritual path. I live and breathe my work. It's not some abstract intellectual exercise.
Nor is it art. Science is a campaign to find natural explanations for all natural phenomena – natural, not supernatural - about which you can believe anything.
Still, I try to make this stuff fun, intuitive, and useful. I've written over 1,100 blog articles for Psychology Today on practical decision-making and everything we all go through (11 million views). Their editor-in-chief calls it, "Mind candy for people who aren't afraid to think."
If their unconscious motives could talk, here's what they'd confess. This walks through the psychological mechanics of falling for a "master": the unlimited praise, the new friends who agree with everything you say, the old friends you cut off for challenging you, and the slow, humiliating realization that you were just copying someone else's confidence instead of building your own.
CHAPTERS
0:00 Initial Vulnerability
0:29 Finding "The Master"
1:04 Embracing the Leader's Message
1:18 Isolation and Alienation
2:16 Doubts Begin
2:57 Growing Disillusionment
3:53 News and Rumors
4:35 Internal Struggle
4:51 Followers Leaving
6:13 The Turning Point
6:42 Acceptance and Moving On
#CultPsychology #Narcissism #GroupPsychology #Manipulation #PersonalGrowth
I'm Jeremy Sherman, PhD, a strategic consultant since 1997, specializing in dealing with jerks and doubts.
For a free trial session, email me at js@jeremysherman.com
𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤: facebook.com/jeremysherm
DEALING WITH JERKS
jerkology.net
BLOG: psychologytoday.com/us/blog/jerkology
BOOK: What's Up With A**holes? How to spot and stop them without becoming one.
https://a.co/d/6QDQwrY
AUDIOBOOK: youtube.com/watch?v=iLerthdU4Jw&t
DEALING WITH DOUBTS
adaptivestrategies.net
BLOG: psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ambigamy
BOOK: Negotiate with Yourself and Win: Doubt Management Skills for People Who Can Hear Themselves Think: https://a.co/d/brJpNli
Though informal, I'll argue that my approach is more scientific than a lot of what passes for big picture science. It is really abstract engineering researchers claiming we've got this or that add-on feature without explaining how we got it. That makes for excellent engineering, but it's no more rigorous than supernatural explanations.
For 30 years, I've worked closely with Harvard/Berkeley biologist/neuroscientist Terrence Deacon on developing fully scientific explanations for phenomena assumed by other researchers.
Some examples:
LIFE'S STRUGGLE FOR EXISTENCE: DNA and natural selection don't explain it. We have an entirely natural explanation for how self-regenerating beings (like us) could emerge from chemistry and evolve (by natural selection) the capacity to use DNA molecules.
MOTIVATION: Psychologists just assume it. When they see effort, they assume a motivation, which is like assuming a "soul." We have an explanation for what effort and motivation physically are: Not something added to chemistry but the way chemistry can limit itself by channeling energy into work to regenerate itself.
NARCISSISM: Psychologists say that if you've got these symptoms, you have a thing called Narcissism. I explain how humans, having evolved language, can imagine the ideal, see where we fall short, and self-idealize to compensate. It's something we all do. I study how it gets out of hand and becomes addictive.
My book on our research: Neither Ghost Nor Machine: The Emergence and Nature of Selves (Columbia University Press, 2017) https://a.co/d/9ZNyT7E
My PhD is in decision science. I'm a soulnerd with a deeply connected heart and head. This stuff is my non-spiritual path. I live and breathe my work. It's not some abstract intellectual exercise.
Nor is it art. Science is a campaign to find natural explanations for all natural phenomena – natural, not supernatural - about which you can believe anything.
Still, I try to make this stuff fun, intuitive, and useful. I've written over 1,100 blog articles for Psychology Today on practical decision-making and everything we all go through (11 million views). Their editor-in-chief calls it, "Mind candy for people who aren't afraid to think."
