Hyperindividualism, Self-sufficiency, & Asking for Help @estherperel

Uploaded December 2025 | Updated September 2026, 4 hours ago

We start by asking for help.

Hyperindividualism, Self-sufficiency, & Asking for Help

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$My Parents Got Divorced, So Why Am I Still in the Middle? Where Should We Begin? With Esther Perel On this weeks episode of Where Should We Begin? When a mom reaches out on her daughter’s behalf, an old family dynamic comes into focus. A woman finds herself caught between her two divorced parents, still playing the role of mediator and emotional caretaker. As she speaks with Esther, she starts to question what really belongs to her and what it has cost her to carry stories that were never hers to hold. Chapters 00:00 Why Are You Still in the Triangle? 01:01 What Did Your Mom Really Want You to Hear? 03:57 How Did You Become the Family Therapist? 07:29 Is This Really a “New” Divorce? 08:19 What Was That Fight Really About? 10:34 Why Do You Need Him to Take Accountability? 18:04 What Happens If You Speak His Language? 25:56 What Does “I Want My Family Back” Actually Mean? 28:17 Why Do Families Turn Tribal After Divorce? 31:09 Are You In or Out of the Family Now? 31:49 Why Are You Still Carrying Your Mom Into the Room? 33:15 Who Still Talks to Her—and Why? 35:00 Who Gets to Rewrite the Story of the Marriage? 37:18 Can You Quit the Middle Role? 39:09 Why Does Letting Go Feel So Wrong? 40:58 What Does a Boundary Actually Sound Like? 43:44 Are You Stuck in a Guilt and Shame Loop? 50:36 What Is Your Body Trying to Tell You? About Where Should We Begin?: Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. About Esther Perel: Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more on her website (https://bit.ly/4cPOyl4) or follow her Substack Entre Nous https://bit.ly/3P0eAK2) for bonus content.$ $Should I Have Another Baby? | Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel On this weeks episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: When we become parents, many of us quietly promise ourselves that we wont be like our parents. Were going to do it differently. This week’s caller finds herself wrestling with a deeper question: Is her longing for another child born from genuine desire or from defiance? Is she doing this to prove shes not like her mother? Or, is she doing it because after a traumatic labor, shes now yearning for an idealized birth experience. Is this selfish? Is it a betrayal of her husband and her twins? Or does she genuinely want another child? She explores traumatic labor, giving birth during COVID, and her PTSD with Esther. Chapters 00:00 Why Does This Trauma Still Feel So Alive? 01:04 What Is She Really Asking for? 05:54 How Dangerous Would Another Pregnancy Be? 08:14 What Was It Like to Give Birth Alone During COVID? 10:21 Why Does Her Body Still Feel Unsafe After Birth? 13:04 Can EMDR Help Her Process This Trauma? 15:04 What Is She Hoping Another Baby Will Give Her? 17:07 Why Is It So Hard to Slow Down This Decision? 18:46 Is She Seeking Repair or Repeating the Past? 20:16 Is This Actually PTSD? 20:40 Why Does the Story Replay Moment by Moment? 21:33 How Do Guilt and Shame Keep Her Stuck? 22:53 Who Is Protecting Her When She Can’t? 24:54 Is Her Strength Also Putting Her at Risk? 26:13 How Is Her Childhood Still Shaping This Choice? 30:28 Is Her Sense of Power an Illusion? 32:36 What Lies Between Her and the “Castle”? 34:03 Is This Desire or Defiance? 37:47 Can She Make This Choice for Herself? About Where Should We Begin?: Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. About Esther Perel: Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram.$ $He Loves Me But His Family Rejects Me I Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel On this weeks episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? She left her life, her family and her country for a man she met on Reddit. Their love is real, but his family has been hell. Chapters 00:31 What Happens When Two Strangers Meet on Reddit and Start Over? 01:18 Can Two Families Become One? 02:18 Are Old Relationships Still Shaping Their New Beginning? 06:40 What If They Disagree on Becoming Parents? 11:52 Will Their Families Accept This New Chapter? 18:04 What Fears Are Holding Them Back and Which Ones Push Them Forward? 20:16 Can They Stay Vulnerable Without Losing Control? 23:32 How Do You Build Love While Inheriting a Legacy? 28:09 Can They Bridge Cultural Expectations with Emotional Reality? 31:16 How Do Support and Humor Change the Hardest Conversations? 35:50 What Does Looking Back Reveal About the Life They Want Now? About Where Should We Begin?: Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. About Esther Perel: Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Join my Substack community Entre Nous (https://bit.ly/4rs75cL) for exclusive bonus content. Learn more at EstherPerel.com(https://bit.ly/4rtZ5bi) or by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram.$

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