Uploaded January 2024 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
"Gyászolás" from MAP18 of Eviternity II.
The track that nearly never made it. Older followers of the channel will have noticed I pretty much stopped uploading music in 2021, coming back every now and then for a couple of releases - mainly Elementalism - and then nothing, especially during 2023. It's not entirely because my attention was on this - I didn't even start writing Evi2 music until late '22 - mainly I was just creatively dead, and I was getting tired of the cycle of trying to start something, decide I hate it, scrap it, rinse and repeat. I started work on a """Voyager 2""" album, to this day it's still just 3 or 4 early segments of tracks. Every now and then, a burst of creativity to show me I could still do it, only for it to fade again.
"Gyászolás" represents the worst of this. I knew what Bauul wanted, and I just couldn't put pen to paper. At first I was trying a choral track (something like Miserere Mei) in MIDI form but it didn't go anywhere, I kept starting things and then immediately deleting them. Finally, in January 2023, I made a start that felt promising at first, and for the first time I'd managaed to make a few minutes of music and then, "nah this sucks." I deleted it without showing anyone.
By this point I was mostly convinced that I should stop trying, more attempts failing to go anywhere. Maybe try to write for a different map? Nothing. Fortunately I'm very lazy and never bother emptying the recycle bin on my PC - a couple of months later out of sheer desperation I grabbed the scrapped track and sent it to Bauul, and.. he loved it.
I think this was exactly what I needed to hear because then I felt like I could still make the track not suck to my own ears.
After that, a small break, then I wrote MAP32's track, it took a month for the original 4-minute draft. A few days later, I started MAP26's track, it took just under 2 weeks, you can figure out the rest.
I still don't think Gyászolás really holds up against my other evi2 work except for the middle bit, but the fact it got released at all is a miracle.
Sorry for this long and rather personal ramble (I'm also sick and probably a bit delirious while typing this) but that's the story of the MAP18 MIDI. I hope this can at least reassure anyone feeling creatively dry and down about it that it does eventually come back. It's far from the first time I've experienced things like this but this was the worst and longest period of "screw music" I've ever had, and I genuinely believed it was over. But it wasn't, and while I don't like to big myself up much, I do think the evi2 MIDIs I made after this point are some of the best I've ever done.
Thank you Bauul :)
eviternity.dfdoom.com
Eviternity II OST playlist: youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDx0PMnJ00tFYFThMB9F-hZQjR9Eb1cfR
--
Bandcamp: tristanclark.bandcamp.com/releases
Spotify: open.spotify.com/artist/1Xgjt8c9Myki3Nstvn1gCN
"Gyászolás" from MAP18 of Eviternity II.
The track that nearly never made it. Older followers of the channel will have noticed I pretty much stopped uploading music in 2021, coming back every now and then for a couple of releases - mainly Elementalism - and then nothing, especially during 2023. It's not entirely because my attention was on this - I didn't even start writing Evi2 music until late '22 - mainly I was just creatively dead, and I was getting tired of the cycle of trying to start something, decide I hate it, scrap it, rinse and repeat. I started work on a """Voyager 2""" album, to this day it's still just 3 or 4 early segments of tracks. Every now and then, a burst of creativity to show me I could still do it, only for it to fade again.
"Gyászolás" represents the worst of this. I knew what Bauul wanted, and I just couldn't put pen to paper. At first I was trying a choral track (something like Miserere Mei) in MIDI form but it didn't go anywhere, I kept starting things and then immediately deleting them. Finally, in January 2023, I made a start that felt promising at first, and for the first time I'd managaed to make a few minutes of music and then, "nah this sucks." I deleted it without showing anyone.
By this point I was mostly convinced that I should stop trying, more attempts failing to go anywhere. Maybe try to write for a different map? Nothing. Fortunately I'm very lazy and never bother emptying the recycle bin on my PC - a couple of months later out of sheer desperation I grabbed the scrapped track and sent it to Bauul, and.. he loved it.
I think this was exactly what I needed to hear because then I felt like I could still make the track not suck to my own ears.
After that, a small break, then I wrote MAP32's track, it took a month for the original 4-minute draft. A few days later, I started MAP26's track, it took just under 2 weeks, you can figure out the rest.
I still don't think Gyászolás really holds up against my other evi2 work except for the middle bit, but the fact it got released at all is a miracle.
Sorry for this long and rather personal ramble (I'm also sick and probably a bit delirious while typing this) but that's the story of the MAP18 MIDI. I hope this can at least reassure anyone feeling creatively dry and down about it that it does eventually come back. It's far from the first time I've experienced things like this but this was the worst and longest period of "screw music" I've ever had, and I genuinely believed it was over. But it wasn't, and while I don't like to big myself up much, I do think the evi2 MIDIs I made after this point are some of the best I've ever done.
Thank you Bauul :)
eviternity.dfdoom.com
Eviternity II OST playlist: youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDx0PMnJ00tFYFThMB9F-hZQjR9Eb1cfR
--
Bandcamp: tristanclark.bandcamp.com/releases
Spotify: open.spotify.com/artist/1Xgjt8c9Myki3Nstvn1gCN
