Uploaded May 2025 | Updated September 2026, 1 week ago
I lost 150 lbs in 9 months, and then I kept it off. Ever since I've been asked, over and over, for my secret. Well, there are some questions you ask, but might not want the answer to. And the truth is, I do have a secret, but it isn't what you think it is. This video has been a long time coming; it's been literally decades in the making. It's long, it's dense, and it isn't (at all) for the faint of heart, but it's important. Extremely important. In fact it's almost certainly the single most important thing I'll ever say out loud. I hope my secret outlives me. Thank you for your time, your understanding, and your attention. Please share with anyone, and everyone, you think it might benefit... it just might save a life. It would certainly have saved a lot of mine if I'd ever heard it from someone with similar secrets.
► Mental Health Resources and Charities Worth Supporting:
(Note: These are UK-local and have helped me, please consider supporting others in your region)
Mind UK (mind.org.uk/): General Mental Health Information & Advocacy
Samaritans UK (samaritans.org/): Mental Health Support & Suicide Prevention
Beat (beateatingdisorders.org.uk/): Information & Support for Eating Disorders
Safeline UK (safeline.org.uk/): Support for Anyone Affected By (or At Risk of) Sexual Abuse
Survivors UK (http://www.survivorsuk.org): Support for Male & Non-Binary Survivors of Sexual Abuse
Stop It Now UK (stopitnow.org.uk/): Prevention of Sexual Abuse
► References Cited:
doi.org/10.1016/j.exger.2020.110875 - Impact of calorie restriction on energy metabolism in humans
doi.org/10.1002/oby.21653 - How Strongly Does Appetite Counter Weight Loss? Quantification of the Feedback Control of Human Energy Intake
doi.org/10.1038/s41586-024-08165-7 - Adipose tissue retains an epigenetic memory of obesity after weight loss
https://archive.today/6ZoQp - You’ve Lost Weight Taking New Obesity Drugs. What Happens if You Stop?
doi.org/10.1007/s11892-023-01498-z - Weight Regain After Bariatric Surgery: Scope of the Problem, Causes, Prevention, and Treatment
http://archive.today/lbGR5 - PTSD and DSM-5 - PTSD: National Center for PTSD
https://archive.today/ShYqF - The Body Keeps The Score
doi.org/10.1038/s41598-025-89818-z - Epigenetic signatures of intergenerational exposure to violence in three generations of Syrian refugees
https://archive.today/NCvL4 - 6B40 Post traumatic stress disorder - ICD-11 for Mortality and Morbidity Statistics
dx.doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.01026 - What is a “sense of foreshortened future?” A phenomenological study of trauma, trust, and time
https://archive.today/FpHt9 - Dissociative Subtype of PTSD - PTSD: National Center for PTSD
https://archive.today/RTR9n - PTSD for Children 6 Years and Younger - PTSD: National Center for PTSD
doi.org/10.1038/mp.2017.23 - Preventing intrusive memories after trauma via a brief intervention involving Tetris [...]
https://archive.today/yfycV - 6B41 Complex post traumatic stress disorder - ICD-11 for Mortality and Morbidity Statistics
doi.org/10.1186/s12888-018-1971-9 - Why do I have to suffer? Symptom management, views and experiences of persons with a CPTSD [,,,]
doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.01026 - What is a “sense of foreshortened future?” A phenomenological study of trauma, trust, and time
http://archive.today/baqgB - The 1 in 6 statistic - Sexual Abuse & Assault of Boys & Men
http://archive.today/GtBj9 - 1 in 4: Supporting Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse & Trauma
Chapters
00:00 Hi, I'm Michael
06:27 Weight Loss
14:50 My Advice
20:14 Up & Down
28:03 Back Up & Back Down
37:23 I Have a Secret
42:21 Common Vocabulary
48:10 Trauma
51:08 PTSD
01:24:30 C-PTSD
01:37:51 I Have C-PTSD
01:49:01 My First Day of School
02:08:49 I'm a "Survivor"
02:15:51 Who Had Responsibility
02:22:18 My Abuser Wasn't Responsible
02:26:29 My Parents Weren't Responsible
02:30:38 My Father Wasn't Responsible
02:38:54 My Mother Wasn't Responsible
02:46:11 I Was Left Responsible
02:55:30 I Developed C-PTSD
03:07:18 C-PTSD Led to Revictimization
03:31:45 Pain
03:43:22 Self-Harm
03:49:02 Reaching Suicidality
04:00:07 Cascade Failure
04:15:25 Further Descent
04:38:55 Crisis & Breaking Point
04:42:30 The Real Introduction
05:01:26 Limits & Thresholds
05:10:41 Grounding
05:21:20 Avoidance
05:37:56 Reliving
05:47:49 Reporting In
05:53:18 One-To-Many
06:05:05 Unspeakable Shame
06:09:22 I Wasn't Repressed
06:27:11 I Was Suppressed
06:30:48 Anger Must Be Expressed
06:36:02 Constrain & Inhibit
06:44:06 Will To Power
06:49:26 Poisonous Shame
06:52:14 My Real Education
07:02:13 Black Holes
07:04:39 Monsters
07:25:26 We Has Met The Enemy
07:27:09 Apes to Angels
07:35:53 Never Thought I'd Reach the End
I lost 150 lbs in 9 months, and then I kept it off. Ever since I've been asked, over and over, for my secret. Well, there are some questions you ask, but might not want the answer to. And the truth is, I do have a secret, but it isn't what you think it is. This video has been a long time coming; it's been literally decades in the making. It's long, it's dense, and it isn't (at all) for the faint of heart, but it's important. Extremely important. In fact it's almost certainly the single most important thing I'll ever say out loud. I hope my secret outlives me. Thank you for your time, your understanding, and your attention. Please share with anyone, and everyone, you think it might benefit... it just might save a life. It would certainly have saved a lot of mine if I'd ever heard it from someone with similar secrets.
► Mental Health Resources and Charities Worth Supporting:
(Note: These are UK-local and have helped me, please consider supporting others in your region)
Mind UK (mind.org.uk/): General Mental Health Information & Advocacy
Samaritans UK (samaritans.org/): Mental Health Support & Suicide Prevention
Beat (beateatingdisorders.org.uk/): Information & Support for Eating Disorders
Safeline UK (safeline.org.uk/): Support for Anyone Affected By (or At Risk of) Sexual Abuse
Survivors UK (http://www.survivorsuk.org): Support for Male & Non-Binary Survivors of Sexual Abuse
Stop It Now UK (stopitnow.org.uk/): Prevention of Sexual Abuse
► References Cited:
doi.org/10.1016/j.exger.2020.110875 - Impact of calorie restriction on energy metabolism in humans
doi.org/10.1002/oby.21653 - How Strongly Does Appetite Counter Weight Loss? Quantification of the Feedback Control of Human Energy Intake
doi.org/10.1038/s41586-024-08165-7 - Adipose tissue retains an epigenetic memory of obesity after weight loss
https://archive.today/6ZoQp - You’ve Lost Weight Taking New Obesity Drugs. What Happens if You Stop?
doi.org/10.1007/s11892-023-01498-z - Weight Regain After Bariatric Surgery: Scope of the Problem, Causes, Prevention, and Treatment
http://archive.today/lbGR5 - PTSD and DSM-5 - PTSD: National Center for PTSD
https://archive.today/ShYqF - The Body Keeps The Score
doi.org/10.1038/s41598-025-89818-z - Epigenetic signatures of intergenerational exposure to violence in three generations of Syrian refugees
https://archive.today/NCvL4 - 6B40 Post traumatic stress disorder - ICD-11 for Mortality and Morbidity Statistics
dx.doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.01026 - What is a “sense of foreshortened future?” A phenomenological study of trauma, trust, and time
https://archive.today/FpHt9 - Dissociative Subtype of PTSD - PTSD: National Center for PTSD
https://archive.today/RTR9n - PTSD for Children 6 Years and Younger - PTSD: National Center for PTSD
doi.org/10.1038/mp.2017.23 - Preventing intrusive memories after trauma via a brief intervention involving Tetris [...]
https://archive.today/yfycV - 6B41 Complex post traumatic stress disorder - ICD-11 for Mortality and Morbidity Statistics
doi.org/10.1186/s12888-018-1971-9 - Why do I have to suffer? Symptom management, views and experiences of persons with a CPTSD [,,,]
doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.01026 - What is a “sense of foreshortened future?” A phenomenological study of trauma, trust, and time
http://archive.today/baqgB - The 1 in 6 statistic - Sexual Abuse & Assault of Boys & Men
http://archive.today/GtBj9 - 1 in 4: Supporting Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse & Trauma
Chapters
00:00 Hi, I'm Michael
06:27 Weight Loss
14:50 My Advice
20:14 Up & Down
28:03 Back Up & Back Down
37:23 I Have a Secret
42:21 Common Vocabulary
48:10 Trauma
51:08 PTSD
01:24:30 C-PTSD
01:37:51 I Have C-PTSD
01:49:01 My First Day of School
02:08:49 I'm a "Survivor"
02:15:51 Who Had Responsibility
02:22:18 My Abuser Wasn't Responsible
02:26:29 My Parents Weren't Responsible
02:30:38 My Father Wasn't Responsible
02:38:54 My Mother Wasn't Responsible
02:46:11 I Was Left Responsible
02:55:30 I Developed C-PTSD
03:07:18 C-PTSD Led to Revictimization
03:31:45 Pain
03:43:22 Self-Harm
03:49:02 Reaching Suicidality
04:00:07 Cascade Failure
04:15:25 Further Descent
04:38:55 Crisis & Breaking Point
04:42:30 The Real Introduction
05:01:26 Limits & Thresholds
05:10:41 Grounding
05:21:20 Avoidance
05:37:56 Reliving
05:47:49 Reporting In
05:53:18 One-To-Many
06:05:05 Unspeakable Shame
06:09:22 I Wasn't Repressed
06:27:11 I Was Suppressed
06:30:48 Anger Must Be Expressed
06:36:02 Constrain & Inhibit
06:44:06 Will To Power
06:49:26 Poisonous Shame
06:52:14 My Real Education
07:02:13 Black Holes
07:04:39 Monsters
07:25:26 We Has Met The Enemy
07:27:09 Apes to Angels
07:35:53 Never Thought I'd Reach the End
