Uploaded August 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Getting to know who you are often means becoming like a curious child again, willing to try new things you've never tried before.
That's easier said than done. Trying something new almost always triggers fear, the fear of not being good at it, of looking foolish, of getting it wrong in front of someone. That fear doesn't mean something's going wrong. It usually means you're actually stepping into unfamiliar territory, which is exactly where self-discovery tends to happen. Walking through that fear, rather than avoiding it, is often part of the process of finding out what you like, what you're good at, and who you actually are underneath everything you learned to be for survival.
Another way in is asking someone who knows you well, someone reasonably healthy, to mirror back what they see. Your personality, your natural gifts, what you seem to have a real passion for, your strengths and your weaknesses. If it's someone who genuinely loves and respects you, they can offer that reflection in a way that feels honest without feeling like judgment or shame, which can give you a much clearer picture than you'd get on your own.
Reading can help too, books on personality and learning styles, but also biographies of people who've shaped the world in some way. Sometimes reading about someone else's life is what puts you in touch with your own passion, or gives you a clearer sense of what you actually want your purpose to be.
Source: "The Characteristics of Complex Trauma - Part 25 - Don't Know Who They Are"
Getting to know who you are often means becoming like a curious child again, willing to try new things you've never tried before.
That's easier said than done. Trying something new almost always triggers fear, the fear of not being good at it, of looking foolish, of getting it wrong in front of someone. That fear doesn't mean something's going wrong. It usually means you're actually stepping into unfamiliar territory, which is exactly where self-discovery tends to happen. Walking through that fear, rather than avoiding it, is often part of the process of finding out what you like, what you're good at, and who you actually are underneath everything you learned to be for survival.
Another way in is asking someone who knows you well, someone reasonably healthy, to mirror back what they see. Your personality, your natural gifts, what you seem to have a real passion for, your strengths and your weaknesses. If it's someone who genuinely loves and respects you, they can offer that reflection in a way that feels honest without feeling like judgment or shame, which can give you a much clearer picture than you'd get on your own.
Reading can help too, books on personality and learning styles, but also biographies of people who've shaped the world in some way. Sometimes reading about someone else's life is what puts you in touch with your own passion, or gives you a clearer sense of what you actually want your purpose to be.
Source: "The Characteristics of Complex Trauma - Part 25 - Don't Know Who They Are"
