Uploaded September 2025 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Therapist Meg Josephson and I explore the fawn response, a survival strategy where safety is sought by pleasing other people. We discuss how fawning can start as self-protection in childhood, but later morph into overthinking, hypervigilance, and self-abandonment. Meg shares her own experience, including how fawning creates resentment and makes it difficult to find a healthy relationship or figure out your authentic needs. Topics include becoming aware of unconscious habits, building distress tolerance, grief, self-compassion, healthy boundaries, and speaking up for ourselves.
Key Topics:
0:00 Introduction
1:18 Self-sabotage as self-protection
4:01 Bringing the unconscious fawn response into awareness
9:51 Silencing wants and needs, conflict avoidance, and resentment
14:33 Rediscovering wants and needs after people pleasing
18:05 The healing arc: grief, anger, and relationship
25:30 Viewing people pleasing as a “part” rather than an identity
30:11 Nice vs. compassionate
51:36 Hypervigilance and the NICER practice
57:22 Authenticity as “uncovering” rather than “fixing”
1:03:02 Recap
Subscribe to Being Well on:
Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/being-well-with-dr-rick-hanson/id1120885936
Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/5d87ZU1XY0fpdYNSEwXLVQ
Who Am I: I'm Forrest, the co-author of Resilient (amzn.to/3iXLerD) and host of the Being Well Podcast (apple.co/38ufGG0). I'm making videos focused on simplifying psychology, mental health, and personal growth.
Subscribe to Rick on YouTube: youtube.com/@RickHanson?sub_confirmation=1
Get Rick's Free Newsletters: rickhanson.com/writings/newsletters-from-dr-rick-hanson
Follow Rick Here:
🌍 rickhanson.com
📸 instagram.com/rickhansonphd
I'm not a clinician, and what I say on this channel should not be taken as medical advice.
You can follow me here:
🎤 apple.co/38ufGG0
🌍 forresthanson.com
📸 instagram.com/f.hanson
Therapist Meg Josephson and I explore the fawn response, a survival strategy where safety is sought by pleasing other people. We discuss how fawning can start as self-protection in childhood, but later morph into overthinking, hypervigilance, and self-abandonment. Meg shares her own experience, including how fawning creates resentment and makes it difficult to find a healthy relationship or figure out your authentic needs. Topics include becoming aware of unconscious habits, building distress tolerance, grief, self-compassion, healthy boundaries, and speaking up for ourselves.
Key Topics:
0:00 Introduction
1:18 Self-sabotage as self-protection
4:01 Bringing the unconscious fawn response into awareness
9:51 Silencing wants and needs, conflict avoidance, and resentment
14:33 Rediscovering wants and needs after people pleasing
18:05 The healing arc: grief, anger, and relationship
25:30 Viewing people pleasing as a “part” rather than an identity
30:11 Nice vs. compassionate
51:36 Hypervigilance and the NICER practice
57:22 Authenticity as “uncovering” rather than “fixing”
1:03:02 Recap
Subscribe to Being Well on:
Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/being-well-with-dr-rick-hanson/id1120885936
Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/5d87ZU1XY0fpdYNSEwXLVQ
Who Am I: I'm Forrest, the co-author of Resilient (amzn.to/3iXLerD) and host of the Being Well Podcast (apple.co/38ufGG0). I'm making videos focused on simplifying psychology, mental health, and personal growth.
Subscribe to Rick on YouTube: youtube.com/@RickHanson?sub_confirmation=1
Get Rick's Free Newsletters: rickhanson.com/writings/newsletters-from-dr-rick-hanson
Follow Rick Here:
🌍 rickhanson.com
📸 instagram.com/rickhansonphd
I'm not a clinician, and what I say on this channel should not be taken as medical advice.
You can follow me here:
🎤 apple.co/38ufGG0
🌍 forresthanson.com
📸 instagram.com/f.hanson
