Uploaded May 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Sometimes in complex trauma recovery, we try to show empathy by fixing, explaining, or offering advice, but those responses can leave someone feeling unseen or invalidated. True empathy begins when we slow down, listen, and stay present with someone’s pain before trying to change it.
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We offer 4 different levels of resources, courses and programs for Complex Trauma Recovery, from introductory personal recovery to programs for professionals in the mental health space. Visit our website to explore all of our resources: timfletcher.ca
Join our Community! bit.ly/join-the-community-tf
🎧Watch or listen to the Time With Tim Podcast: youtube.com/@TimeWithTimPodcast
Find us on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook and more here: https://linktr.ee/Tim_Fletcher
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0:00 - Introduction to Empathy and the Ventral Vagal State
1:01 - Three Reasons Why We Miss Empathy
2:42 - Performative Empathy and Manipulation
4:14 - Narcissism and Empathy Tactics
6:43 - The "At Least" Response: Minimizing Pain
7:44 - Comparing Suffering: Making Pain a Competition
9:03 - Using Your Own Story Effectively
10:11 - The "Fix-It" Response: Jumping to Solutions
11:12 - Philosophy and Education: Explaining Pain Away
12:12 - Looking on the Bright Side Too Quickly
13:05 - Shame, Judgment, and Patronizing Responses
14:14 - Conclusion: Reflecting on Your Empathy Habits
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Tim Fletcher is not a doctor or licensed therapist; he is a counsellor in Canada and has worked with people with Complex Trauma and Addiction for decades. Tim’s videos are for informational purposes only to provide understanding, learning, and awareness about complex trauma. No information published here can replace professional evaluation, diagnosis, or treatment.
#empathymisses #brenebrown #complextrauma #timfletcher #mentalhealth
Sometimes in complex trauma recovery, we try to show empathy by fixing, explaining, or offering advice, but those responses can leave someone feeling unseen or invalidated. True empathy begins when we slow down, listen, and stay present with someone’s pain before trying to change it.
────────────
We offer 4 different levels of resources, courses and programs for Complex Trauma Recovery, from introductory personal recovery to programs for professionals in the mental health space. Visit our website to explore all of our resources: timfletcher.ca
Join our Community! bit.ly/join-the-community-tf
🎧Watch or listen to the Time With Tim Podcast: youtube.com/@TimeWithTimPodcast
Find us on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook and more here: https://linktr.ee/Tim_Fletcher
────────────
0:00 - Introduction to Empathy and the Ventral Vagal State
1:01 - Three Reasons Why We Miss Empathy
2:42 - Performative Empathy and Manipulation
4:14 - Narcissism and Empathy Tactics
6:43 - The "At Least" Response: Minimizing Pain
7:44 - Comparing Suffering: Making Pain a Competition
9:03 - Using Your Own Story Effectively
10:11 - The "Fix-It" Response: Jumping to Solutions
11:12 - Philosophy and Education: Explaining Pain Away
12:12 - Looking on the Bright Side Too Quickly
13:05 - Shame, Judgment, and Patronizing Responses
14:14 - Conclusion: Reflecting on Your Empathy Habits
────────────
Tim Fletcher is not a doctor or licensed therapist; he is a counsellor in Canada and has worked with people with Complex Trauma and Addiction for decades. Tim’s videos are for informational purposes only to provide understanding, learning, and awareness about complex trauma. No information published here can replace professional evaluation, diagnosis, or treatment.
#empathymisses #brenebrown #complextrauma #timfletcher #mentalhealth
