Uploaded April 2020 | Updated September 2026, 1 day ago
Hiss of Pain? House of Pain? Wait, that can't be right!
Yo, cockchops, House of Pain is already taken.
Anyway, the usual dirge, courtesy of the usual shovelware collection. I play like a cunt for the first few minutes because I was too busy trying to scratch my nose without using my hands.
From the README:
"I can't beat this one with 100% everythings and I designed it!
Even with all the goodies in the House there is barely enough firepower to take the cyber-foozle. And there is no-one tough enough to pit him against like in the real .WAD Best -I- can do is lure him away and swipe the key to leave."
The mind boggles.
Hiss of Pain? House of Pain? Wait, that can't be right!
Yo, cockchops, House of Pain is already taken.
Anyway, the usual dirge, courtesy of the usual shovelware collection. I play like a cunt for the first few minutes because I was too busy trying to scratch my nose without using my hands.
From the README:
"I can't beat this one with 100% everythings and I designed it!
Even with all the goodies in the House there is barely enough firepower to take the cyber-foozle. And there is no-one tough enough to pit him against like in the real .WAD Best -I- can do is lure him away and swipe the key to leave."
The mind boggles.
![Captain Novolin Deathless Speedrun [SNES, 1992]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/NAMSHOQXJgE/mqdefault.jpg "Captain Novolin Deathless Speedrun [SNES, 1992]
Its not really a speedrun, and certainly not in any serious context, but this game is something of an endless joke for some of us and by some miracle also winds up being very short.
So of course this shit happened.
Jesus god almighty this game has some of the worst hit detection imaginable, but at least it works both ways with that feature; at times youll go to jump on an enemy only to take damage yourself, then youll find yourself killing foes by leaping into them side-on. How does this work? Why does this work?
Who gives a fuck?
Games awful. Not the absolute worst in the SNES library but definitely far from being anything close to good. And that music! Fucking hell!
(I tried to get the CHECK YOU FEET message to appear but even by the fifth attempt it wasnt happening so I just gave up on that and finished the game instead. Oh well.)")
