Uploaded December 2025 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Original Version
youtu.be/VcbtWaRzqzg?si=fXuCyBBUjDKjSpl3
"Christmas Dinner" by Vance Gilbert
That's not the most comfortable couch I know
The LED from the VCR gives your face the sweetest glow
Kind, kind kid you are
Giving up your childhood bedroom to your Aunt Darlene
Snoring in her facelift, a brunette wig
And her opinions
Leaky old dishwasher still sings Ave Maria at that high pitch
When it's filled too full, like it's calling out
Hey everybody take a breath have a second piece of pie
Darlene went on and on
You just got up and left the kitchen
I may never understand, but I'm listening
You took the Christmas dress that I bought you and made me a shirt
Everything can change except for me
Being your daddy
And I'm listening
I'm listening
You'd come home from school with all these ideas
But we knew it wasn't shellfish or peanuts that made you
Want to claw your way out of your own skin
All these years
Just a phase we figured
So we just shrugged at your purple hair
I covered up your Christmas dinner with a piece of wax paper
It's on the second shelf of the fridge
Pulling these blankets up under your chin
With a kiss on your forehead
While the moon outside the living room window
Goes from white to gold
I may never understand, but I'm listening
You took the Christmas dress that I bought you and made me a shirt
Everything can change except for me
Being your daddy
And I'm listening
I'm listening
Original Version
youtu.be/VcbtWaRzqzg?si=fXuCyBBUjDKjSpl3
"Christmas Dinner" by Vance Gilbert
That's not the most comfortable couch I know
The LED from the VCR gives your face the sweetest glow
Kind, kind kid you are
Giving up your childhood bedroom to your Aunt Darlene
Snoring in her facelift, a brunette wig
And her opinions
Leaky old dishwasher still sings Ave Maria at that high pitch
When it's filled too full, like it's calling out
Hey everybody take a breath have a second piece of pie
Darlene went on and on
You just got up and left the kitchen
I may never understand, but I'm listening
You took the Christmas dress that I bought you and made me a shirt
Everything can change except for me
Being your daddy
And I'm listening
I'm listening
You'd come home from school with all these ideas
But we knew it wasn't shellfish or peanuts that made you
Want to claw your way out of your own skin
All these years
Just a phase we figured
So we just shrugged at your purple hair
I covered up your Christmas dinner with a piece of wax paper
It's on the second shelf of the fridge
Pulling these blankets up under your chin
With a kiss on your forehead
While the moon outside the living room window
Goes from white to gold
I may never understand, but I'm listening
You took the Christmas dress that I bought you and made me a shirt
Everything can change except for me
Being your daddy
And I'm listening
I'm listening





![Neatly Yours
Neatly Yours
[Verse 1]
I alphabetize the spices
And I fold the towels just right
I stack the forks by handle length
Before I sleep at night
I’ve got calendars with stickers
I’ve got bins for every chore
But somehow I still love you
Even when you leave the closet door ajar
[Verse 2]
You track in mud and peanut shells
You hum while reading texts
You leave the toothpaste cap off
Like it’s some kind of test
You snore in major seventh chords
And call that jazz romance
But when you pour my coffee slow
You do it like a dance
[Chorus]
So I’ll sweep, and you’ll spill
I’ll file, and you’ll freewheel
But baby, here’s the deal — I’m still yours
I’m tidy, you’re kinetic
I’m practical, poetic
We’re opposite and magnetic
I’m neatly yours
[Verse 3 ]
You made a checklist once — all scribbled in red
Then left it on the counter near the toaster and some bread
But when I cried on Tuesday
You just held me by the fridge
No plan, no fix, no calendar
Just time you didn’t track
And I’d trade all my labeled boxes
To get that moment back
[Bridge]
You say love shows up sideways
And I say it shines straight through
But maybe it’s the mess and order
That make this house feel true
[Final Chorus]
So I’ll sweep, and you’ll spill
I’ll plan, and you’ll stand still
But baby, here’s the deal — I’m still yours
You’re chaos in my Sunday
You’re footprints on clean floors
You leave your heart wide open
And I’m neatly yours
[Outro]
Yeah, you’re sloppy…
And I’m neatly yours Neatly Yours](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/M6D314Adyt0/mqdefault.jpg)



![Marge Really, Really Likes All Hallows Eve
Marge Really, Really Likes All Hallow’s Eve
[verse]
Marge doesn’t technically celebrate Halloween
She says it’s against her religion
Her pastor told her it’s the devil’s night
And participation is strictly forbidden
She’s not allowed to dress up
And by that I mean purchase a costume
But Marge already had that black dress
And in a closet was already a broom
[chorus]
If you spend five minutes talking to her
There’s two bits of information you’ll receive
Her family are members of some conservative church
And Marge really, really likes All Hallow’s Eve
[verse]
When she shows up on Halloween night
Marge won’t say trick or treat
She’ll just ask you politely
If you have any sweet stuff to eat
Marge is not allowed to say the three words
She’s been told is a phrase said by sinners
But she’ll happily eat any candy
That people at doors want to give her
[chorus]
If you spend five minutes talking to her
There’s two bits of information you’ll receive
Her family are members of some conservative church
And Marge really, really likes All Hallow’s Eve
[bridge]
I couldn’t tell you if she’s got loopholes for other occasions
Cause I don’t belong to her religious organization
I do have my own faith, but I don’t want to be lumped in
With any group that won’t honor the Day of the Pumpkin
[chorus]
If you spend five minutes talking to her
There’s two bits of information you’ll receive
Her family are members of some conservative church
And Marge really, really likes all hallows eve
Marge really, really, likes All Hallow’s Eve
[outro]
Margaret, just know that one day you’ll turn eighteen
And nobody will be able to tell you how you can celebrate Halloween! Marge Really, Really Likes All Hallows Eve](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Mz3V6x5-25U/mqdefault.jpg)
