Uploaded March 2026 | Updated September 2026, 1 week ago
In Season 3, Episode 8 of the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast, Natalie and Diana sit down with Diane Wallenta, a certified divorce lending specialist with 25 years in the mortgage industry. If you're confused about whether you can afford to buy, whether you're "too old" to get a mortgage, or whether you should just keep renting, this conversation is for you.
You'll learn the truth about age limits, what lenders actually look at when you're divorced, how to rebuild your credit after divorce, and why your gut instinct about your budget matters more than what you "qualify" for. Diane breaks down the numbers without the intimidation and gives you the roadmap for making the housing decision that's right for your unique situation.
🔑 Key Takeaways:
- Why an 89-year-old man just got a 30-year mortgage (and what that means for you)
- The hidden reason renting might be your smartest financial move right now
- What loan officers don't tell you about the "12-24 month rule" for divorced women
- The one mistake with child support payments that could tank your mortgage application
- Why the amount you "qualify" for could be a trap (and how realtors benefit from it)
Would you like to talk to Diane about your situation? You can contact her by email: dwallenta@fbst.com or phone: 612-875-7414
Related Resources:
📚Feel like a hot mess after divorce? Get my FREE 5-Day Workshop (flyingfreenow.com/five-day-workshop/) that will teach you a mind-shift tool to manage your thoughts and emotions in order to navigate adult decisions with clarity and peace.
🚀 Flying Higher (https://joinflyinghigher.com) is my live mentorship program for Christian women pursuing increased confidence in their relationships, emotional management, decision making, and self-development. Join us for live classes, coaching, Bible study, and book studies every month. Plus access to a huge library of courses and coaching resources on the topics of career, dating, emotional adulthood, business, mindset, spiritual, emotional, and physical health, your personal space, parenting, relationships, and more. Only $59/month or $590/year.
🎙️ The Renew Your Mind Podcast (rympodcast.com/) with Diana Swillinger
In Season 3, Episode 8 of the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast, Natalie and Diana sit down with Diane Wallenta, a certified divorce lending specialist with 25 years in the mortgage industry. If you're confused about whether you can afford to buy, whether you're "too old" to get a mortgage, or whether you should just keep renting, this conversation is for you.
You'll learn the truth about age limits, what lenders actually look at when you're divorced, how to rebuild your credit after divorce, and why your gut instinct about your budget matters more than what you "qualify" for. Diane breaks down the numbers without the intimidation and gives you the roadmap for making the housing decision that's right for your unique situation.
🔑 Key Takeaways:
- Why an 89-year-old man just got a 30-year mortgage (and what that means for you)
- The hidden reason renting might be your smartest financial move right now
- What loan officers don't tell you about the "12-24 month rule" for divorced women
- The one mistake with child support payments that could tank your mortgage application
- Why the amount you "qualify" for could be a trap (and how realtors benefit from it)
Would you like to talk to Diane about your situation? You can contact her by email: dwallenta@fbst.com or phone: 612-875-7414
Related Resources:
📚Feel like a hot mess after divorce? Get my FREE 5-Day Workshop (flyingfreenow.com/five-day-workshop/) that will teach you a mind-shift tool to manage your thoughts and emotions in order to navigate adult decisions with clarity and peace.
🚀 Flying Higher (https://joinflyinghigher.com) is my live mentorship program for Christian women pursuing increased confidence in their relationships, emotional management, decision making, and self-development. Join us for live classes, coaching, Bible study, and book studies every month. Plus access to a huge library of courses and coaching resources on the topics of career, dating, emotional adulthood, business, mindset, spiritual, emotional, and physical health, your personal space, parenting, relationships, and more. Only $59/month or $590/year.
🎙️ The Renew Your Mind Podcast (rympodcast.com/) with Diana Swillinger
![What if “Biblical Womanhood” is Actually a Trauma Response? [380]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/wBqGvG1CXVU/mqdefault.jpg "What if “Biblical Womanhood” is Actually a Trauma Response? [380]
Let’s talk about something called “the subjugation schema.” Its a clinical pattern that secular psychologists are actively trying to help women heal from, and the conservative Christian church has rebranded the exact same wound as godliness, biblical womanhood, and a high calling.
If youve spent your life apologizing for taking up space, smiling when you wanted to scream, or feeling guilty about basic human needs like rest, preferences, and an opinion of your own, this episode is going to feel like someone finally turned the lights on.
Key Takeaways:
- Meet Rachel and Megan: two composite women, two very different engines driving the exact same wound. Find out which one might be running you in the background right now without your permission
- The four specific ways the conservative Christian church installs this pattern in little girls and quietly reinforces it in grown women
- Why mutual submission, complementarianism, and servant leadership might be the same old subjugation wearing a friendlier nametag
- The story of Sapphira in Acts 5 that quietly dismantles the always submit to your husband theology youve been handed
- The one journal question at the end of the episode that might wake up the woman who has been hiding underneath your schema for decades
Get Today’s Free Resource:
🎁 I want to give you a free gift. It’s the audio version of my book, All the Scary Little Gods. It’s a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming. You can listen to it FREE by going to scarylittlegods.com
I will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.")
![Do You Need Someone to Rescue You? [355]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/wtJ3J0qaTWU/mqdefault.jpg "Do You Need Someone to Rescue You? [355]
✨ “What if you’ve been hoping to be saved... when you already are?” ✨
In today’s episode, I’m asking a question that might just blow the roof off your religious conditioning: What if salvation isn’t something you earn, but something that’s already been purchased and given to you?
I’m sharing a personal story that changed my life: the moment I sat in a hotel room, surrounded by 20 years of marriage journals, made a terrifying decision… and was met not with condemnation, but with overwhelming JOY and peace. The kind of joy religiosity never gave me.
🛑 If you’ve been:
- Staying in a toxic marriage because you think God said you had to…
- Working yourself to the bone to earn God’s approval…
- Terrified that one wrong move will send you slipping down the slippery slope of sin…
This one’s for YOU.
We’re talking:
✅ What the Bible really says about divorce (hint: God’s not a fan of abuse)
✅ Why performance-based faith is not the gospel
✅ The difference between knowing you’re saved... and actually believing it
⚡️ Get ready to breathe out fear and breathe in freedom.
🎁 Listen to my book, All the Scary Little Gods, FREE by going to scarylittlegods.com.
🎙️ Check out related Flying Free Podcast episodes: “Two Hotel Rooms: One Rescue Mission” (https://www.flyingfreenow.com/344-2/) and “Praying for a Miracle — When the Miracle Might Be You Walking Away” (https://www.flyingfreenow.com/337-2/).
📒 Read the full show notes at https://www.flyingfreenow.com/355
#ChristianDeconstruction #FlyingFree #ReligiousTraumaRecovery #SpiritualAbuse #FaithFreedom #WomenOfFaith #DivorceRecovery #NatalieHoffman")
![Navigating Discard, Revenge, and Unsupportive Friends [371]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/xDsMerL0mUc/mqdefault.jpg "Navigating Discard, Revenge, and Unsupportive Friends [371]
In this episode we tackle three questions: What happens when the abuser is the one who leaves? How do you live with the fear of post-separation or post-divorce revenge? And what do you do when your friends just dont get it?
🔑 Key Takeaways:
- Why some abusers discard their victims (and what it reveals about your progress)
- The difference between fear you should listen to and fear that steals your peace
- What actually helps kids navigate their father leaving
- The one question to ask yourself when trying to help someone understand your experience
- Why chasing validation from people who dont get it creates unnecessary suffering
Get Today’s Free Resource:
📒 Take a free Emotional Abuse Assessment by going to emotionalabusequiz.com
I will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.")
![The Subtle, Insidious Nature of Spiritual Abuse [352]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/xcVyo6ltDzg/mqdefault.jpg "The Subtle, Insidious Nature of Spiritual Abuse [352]
🙋♀️ What if the very place you went for love and safety became the source of your deepest wounds?
In this episode, I chat with trauma recovery practitioner and author Katherine Spearing about the sneaky, sinister ways spiritual abuse shows up in our lives, often dressed up as “love,” “concern,” or my personal favorite: “biblical authority.”
We talk:
- What spiritual abuse actually is (it’s more common than you think)
- Why “God wants your holiness, not your happiness” is toxic, manipulative theology
- How to reclaim your autonomy and trust yourself again
- The heartbreaking cost of patriarchy in Christian spaces
- And yes, we go there with the stay-at-home daughter movement, church trauma, and the sandbox of doom (you’ll get it when you listen)
This one’s deep, real, and SO validating.
📢 SUBSCRIBE & HIT THAT BELL 🔔
Dont miss future episodes full of truth bombs, healing insights, and the occasional sarcastic takedown of toxic theology.
👇 Drop a comment if this hit home or if youre just done playing in that churchy little sandbox. We’re building castles on the beach now. 🏖️
Related Resources:
🧐 Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse. Get a free chapter when you sign up for my mailing list at the top of my website: https://flyingfreenow.com
👹 My book, All the Scary Little Gods (https://www.flyingfreenow.com/all-the-scary-little-gods/), is a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming.
🦋 The Kaleidoscope (https://joinflyingfree.com) is our ridiculously affordable online community educating and supporting Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages. Whether you want to stay in your marriage or leave, we can equip you for the next part of your journey through this program.
🚀 Flying Higher (https://joinflyinghigher.com) is my private mentorship program for Christian women who want to go deeper and work with me in a smaller group.
📚 Katherine’s book, A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts
📒 Read the full show notes at https://www.flyingfreenow.com/352
#FlyingFree #SpiritualAbuse #ReligiousTrauma #KatherineSpearing #ChristianDeconstruction #ChurchHurt #FaithRecovery #ToxicTheology #Patriarchy #FlyingFreePodcast
Katherine Spearing MA, CTRC is the founder of Tears of Eden, a nonprofit supporting survivors of spiritual abuse, and the former executive producer and host of the groundbreaking podcast Uncertain, a podcast that pioneered pivotal conversations around spiritual abuse. She also is a Certified Trauma Recovery Practitioner working primarily with clients who have survived cults, high-control environments, spiritual abuse, and sexual abuse. Katherine is a huge advocate for the power of art to help us on our healing journey. She participates in improv theater both as a performer and coach and is the author of one novel. A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts, her new book on spiritual abuse, addresses the survivor’s recovery journey. She has been a guest on a number of podcasts, including IndoctriNation and A Little Bit Culty, is the author of several nonfiction articles, and writes regularly at katherinespearing.com and tearsofeden.org.")
![How to Change Yourself While Still Stuck in an Emotionally Abusive Marriage [256]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/y5bx_dY2EwQ/mqdefault.jpg "How to Change Yourself While Still Stuck in an Emotionally Abusive Marriage [256]
How to Change Yourself While Still Stuck in an Emotionally Abusive Marriage [256]")
