![Bob Kanefsky/Heather Alexander - White Unicorn II [HQ] @SongsfromtheStars](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/_J4LUgUztR4/maxresdefault.jpg)
Uploaded August 2022 | Updated September 2026, 1 hour ago
Tapeworm I track 9. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: archive.org/details/filk_tapeworm_1
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Lyrics:
I am he you stick on your window-pane.
I am he that haunts your days.
I am he that maidens once sought in vain.
Long dead, and now the latest craze.
When you get letters from your friends,
Each page of them I will adorn.
My reign of cuteness never ends:
I am the white unicorn.
My horn of silvery tinsel is honed.
My shoulders bear butterfly wings.
I am the teddy bear you never owned.
I am the song the Smurfs all sing.
One look into my big brown eyes,
No deeper than a children’s poem.
Adults are so quick to hypnotize:
You’ll buy me and you’ll take me home.
My coat is white as the purest snow.
My face is too cute to hide.
Prison me not in that box with a bow;
I’m scared it may be dark inside.
Oh, what a cruel blow you have dealt:
You gave me to a child of three.
Her heart’s too pure and will not melt,
And she is as cute as me!
I am he that’s stuck to a candy cane,
Off-white, and with a bright blue patch.
I am he, with chocolate smeared through my mane.
By gosh, I think I’ve met my match.
How could you leave me in her care,
Mistreated and forlorn?
Her grubby hands clenched in my hair:
One shabby white unicorn.
Tapeworm I track 9. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: archive.org/details/filk_tapeworm_1
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Lyrics:
I am he you stick on your window-pane.
I am he that haunts your days.
I am he that maidens once sought in vain.
Long dead, and now the latest craze.
When you get letters from your friends,
Each page of them I will adorn.
My reign of cuteness never ends:
I am the white unicorn.
My horn of silvery tinsel is honed.
My shoulders bear butterfly wings.
I am the teddy bear you never owned.
I am the song the Smurfs all sing.
One look into my big brown eyes,
No deeper than a children’s poem.
Adults are so quick to hypnotize:
You’ll buy me and you’ll take me home.
My coat is white as the purest snow.
My face is too cute to hide.
Prison me not in that box with a bow;
I’m scared it may be dark inside.
Oh, what a cruel blow you have dealt:
You gave me to a child of three.
Her heart’s too pure and will not melt,
And she is as cute as me!
I am he that’s stuck to a candy cane,
Off-white, and with a bright blue patch.
I am he, with chocolate smeared through my mane.
By gosh, I think I’ve met my match.
How could you leave me in her care,
Mistreated and forlorn?
Her grubby hands clenched in my hair:
One shabby white unicorn.
![Bob Kanefsky/Heather Alexander - White Unicorn II [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/_J4LUgUztR4/mqdefault.jpg "Bob Kanefsky/Heather Alexander - White Unicorn II [HQ]
Tapeworm I track 9. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_tapeworm_1
Lyrics:
I am he you stick on your window-pane.
I am he that haunts your days.
I am he that maidens once sought in vain.
Long dead, and now the latest craze.
When you get letters from your friends,
Each page of them I will adorn.
My reign of cuteness never ends:
I am the white unicorn.
My horn of silvery tinsel is honed.
My shoulders bear butterfly wings.
I am the teddy bear you never owned.
I am the song the Smurfs all sing.
One look into my big brown eyes,
No deeper than a children’s poem.
Adults are so quick to hypnotize:
You’ll buy me and you’ll take me home.
My coat is white as the purest snow.
My face is too cute to hide.
Prison me not in that box with a bow;
I’m scared it may be dark inside.
Oh, what a cruel blow you have dealt:
You gave me to a child of three.
Her heart’s too pure and will not melt,
And she is as cute as me!
I am he that’s stuck to a candy cane,
Off-white, and with a bright blue patch.
I am he, with chocolate smeared through my mane.
By gosh, I think I’ve met my match.
How could you leave me in her care,
Mistreated and forlorn?
Her grubby hands clenched in my hair:
One shabby white unicorn.")
![Aislinn (Anne Prather) - (The Wind Is) A Game Played by Two [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/_nHZoGkjA3E/mqdefault.jpg "Aislinn (Anne Prather) - (The Wind Is) A Game Played by Two [HQ]
High Wings track 9. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_high_wings
Lyrics:
Take me away to a sky dappled blue
Where each passing moment brings
Something else new
But the joys still the same
And the wind is a game
Played by two.
Ah how the silence is growing out here
Where I cant touch the ground
It touches my worries, my hopes and my fears
With a freedom new-found
And it brings me round
To perfection right here.
Let me fly
With the wings of a bird
In a free-wheeling ecstacy
Far beyond words
Where the sun greets the dawn
And the breeze ripples on, undeterred.
Let the myriad stars
Be my guide
I sit here in mid-air
So caught up inside
But my soul seeks the wind
And each flight begins
A new realm of delight
Ah how the silence is growing each day
In the arms of the wind
The airplanes that opened the sky to me say
Theyre my allies and friends
And each flight begins
In a dazzling new way
Take me away
To a sky dappled blue
Where each passing moment
Brings something else new
And the wind is
A game played by two
The wind is
A game played by two.")
![Jordin Kare - The Designer [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/_w3whakzRGg/mqdefault.jpg "Jordin Kare - The Designer [HQ]
Fire in the Sky track 07. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_fire_in_the_sky
Lyrics:
The designer sat at his drafting board
A wealth of facts in his head was stored
Of what can be done with a radial drill,
A turret lathe, or a vertical mill
But above all things a knack he had
Of driving machinists completely mad
So he mused, as he thoughtfully scratched his bean,
“Just how can I make this thing hard to machine?
If I make this body perfectly straight,
The job would surely come out first rate,
But that would be easy to cut and bore!
It never would make the machinist sore.
“So Ill throw in a compound angle there
And a couple of tapers to make them swear.
Now brass would do for this little gear,
But thats too easy to carve I fear,
So just to make a machinist squeal
Ill have him machine it from tungsten steel.
“And Ill put the holes that hold the cap
Down underneath where they cant be tapped.
Now, if they can make it, theyll do it by luck,
Cause it cant be held with a dog or a chuck.
And it cant be drilled nor planed nor ground,
So I think my design is completely sound.”
The designer sat back. His plan he surveyed:
The screwiest thing he had ever made.
He signed his name with a line so thin
Then put down his pencil and started to grin.
He shouted in glee, “Success at last!
Ive designed a part that cant even be cast.”")
![Leslie Fish - Walk Through the Night-Side [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/aSWgpp1Jcws/mqdefault.jpg "Leslie Fish - Walk Through the Night-Side [HQ]
Firestorm track 03. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_firestorm
Find more of Leslie Fishs music at: https://lesliefish.bandcamp.com/
Lyrics:
Empty street of beads of light
None spell safety in my sight
Lend me a knife
Lend me a life
So I can make it home tonight
Chorus:
Walk through the night-side
Walk like a beast
Stalk like a caveman
Starved rock-bottom changes least
Stalking down the silent stone
Distance, keep me safe alone
With a ready grip
On a scrap-iron strip
Sure as a club of bison bone
(Chorus)
City jungle, yes, its true
Thats what cops and robbers do
Try to get free
Thats how to be
Strong enough to walk it through
(Chorus)
So come on, junkie, rapist, crook
Stop and take another look
Im still alive
And mean to survive
Its all down in Darwins book
(Chorus)")
![Jordin Kare - Heart of the Apple Lisa [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/abUzg20OIPs/mqdefault.jpg "Jordin Kare - Heart of the Apple Lisa [HQ]
Parody Violation track 21. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_parody_violation
Lyrics (TTTO Heart of the Appaloosa, Fred Small):
In the land of high-tech ventures, by the waters of Frisco Bay,
Hewlett Packard up by Stanford, IBM in San Jose
The Hackers of the Apple wrote their code and schemed their schemes
In the valley known as Silicon, where fortunes grow from dreams
And they built some fine computers, if you skip the Apple III
But they vowed to build a new machine that would the market please
They would ease the users burden; the command line theyd replace
With the magic known as GUI, Graphic User Interface
Chorus: Windows-Scrolling-in-the-Valley,
Lead the Hackers off on a GUI tide
Theres blood on the chips down at HP, DEC, and MIPS
But the heart of the Apple Lisa never died!
Then from Xerox came the Alto, never marketed nor sold
Bringing mice and multitasking, and menus that unfold
Desktops sprouted metal rodents, bitmaps glowed upon the screen,
And printers put on WYSIWYGs to print just what was seen
Nearly lost in Big Blues shadow, incompatible with DOS,
The Lisa, slow and costly, seemed sure to be a loss,
But then came Macs and Fat Macs, LaserWriters, IIs, and more
And word would come from Microsoft: You realize this means war!
(Chorus)
The Chief said to the Hackers, in his anger and his pain,
I am no more John Sculley; Scrolling Windows is my name!
They condemn us to niche markets, call our products vaporware.
We will sue them if we must, but well retain our market share!
They climbed on board that SCSI bus, with Postscript in their hearts
They won in desktop publishing, they won in graphic arts,
Till Bill Gates, he saw his strategy, and sent the e-mail down
To copy those GUI features, wherever they be found
(Chorus)
Three Windows versions later, past the Pentium divide
The strangest of bedfellows, IBM now on their side
Three thousand applications on the PowerPC run,
But the buyers and the users still are leaving one by one
Windows-Scrolling-in-the-Valley said, My heart is sick and sad.
The future now looks RISCy, the old chips are dead.
The lawyers take our spirit, but Ive stock options galore.
From where Scott McNealy stands, I will fight no more!
(Chorus)
They were sent to Intel platforms, Michelangelo [virus] ran rife
But more hackers quit from boredom, and went off to get a life
And the man once known as Sculley with great glee is heard to state,
Theyll get Windows 95 debugged in 19 zero 8! (Goddamn Y2K bug...)
But sometimes, without warning, in some dull commercial app,
A hack of wondrous cleverness emerges from the crap
A metaphor thats graceful; a real need that it can fill
Double click upon that icon—the Apple Lisas living still!
(Chorus)")
![Jordin Kare - Wanderer / Fire in the Sky [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/asLRX7QOPwE/mqdefault.jpg "Jordin Kare - Wanderer / Fire in the Sky [HQ]
Fire in the Sky track 12. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_fire_in_the_sky
Lyrics:
Once I walked an endless land with a wanderers swinging stride
And once upon a mighty steed forever I could ride
And once a tall ship rode the tide at midnight from the bay
And I could climb aboard her and travel far away
Through centuries and lifetimes, no journey twice the same
With love or fear to guide me on, seeking death or fame
Or hearing just a still, small voice that said “You cannot stay”
I could leave the past behind me and travel far away
But now the great jets thunder and they sing of distant lands
But all their promised wonders turn to dust within my hands
For I can travel half the world and return in half a day
And I fear that only death remains to take me far away
For with steel and steam and gasoline and turbines whining scream
They have trapped me in a nightmare that is someone elses dream
Of a world so small and guarded, you could hold it in your hand
A world that knows no land called far away
So I waste my lives in dreaming or in bloody, useless war
But somewhere theres a flash of fire and a mighty rising roar
And I pray godspeed to those who ride, and I live now for the day
When I leave my world behind me and travel far away
Prometheus, they say, brought Gods fire down to man
And weve caught it, tamed it, trained it since our history began
Now were going back to Heaven just to look Him in the eye
And theres a thunder cross the land and a fire in the sky.
Gagarin was the first, back in 1961,
When, like Icarus, undaunted, he climbed to reach the Sun.
And he knew he might not make it, for its never hard to die,
But he lifted off the pad and rode a fire in the sky.
Yet a higher goal was calling, and we vowed to reach it soon,
And we gave ourselves a decade to put fire on the Moon.
And Apollo told the world we can do it if we try,
For there was one small step and a fire in the sky.
Then two decades from Gagarin, twenty years to the day,
Came a shuttle named Columbia to open up the way.
And they said shes just a truck, but shes a truck thats aiming high.
See her big jets burning, see her fire in the sky!
Yet the gods do not give lightly of the gifts that they have made
And with Challenger and seven, once again the price is paid.
Though a nation watched her falling, yet a world could only cry
As they passed from us to glory, riding fire in the sky.
Now the rest is up to us. Theres a future to be won.
We must turn our faces outward—we will do what must be done.
For no cradle lasts forever; every bird must learn to fly.
And were going to the stars, see our fire in the sky!
Yes, were going to the stars, see our fire in the sky!")
![Leslie Fish & the Dehorn Crew - Freedom Road [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/asfuILFVJJM/mqdefault.jpg "Leslie Fish & the Dehorn Crew - Freedom Road [HQ]
Its Sister Jennys Turn to Throw the Bomb track 16. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_its_sister_jennys_turn_to_throw_the_bomb
Find more of Leslie Fishs music at: https://lesliefish.bandcamp.com/
Lyrics:
Did you think it was easy to change all of tomorrow?
Did you think youd never meet time, defeat, and sorrow?
Did you think all the walls would crumble and youd never lose a fight?
Get back up on your feet and do it right!
Chorus:
Freedom Road is a long haul,
Freedom Road is a long haul,
But its worth the ride
Even if you never get there at all.
Did you think the first leader come preachin down the pike
Could give you one big answer, as if we were all alike?
Well, theres no set salvation, you should have known all along
That Jesus, Marx, and your guru could be wrong.
(Chorus)
This is the lonesome valley that youve gotta walk yourself.
Go out and find your answers; you cant take them off the shelf,
And youve gotta make tomorrow from just what youve got today,
So get up off your ass and find a way!
(Chorus)
Time comes down like thunder, and you can ride or fall,
And let the millstones grind you till nothings left at all,
But weve got just two choices, and ones to get home free,
And second best is nothin you wanna see!
(Chorus)")
![Leslie Fish & the Dehorn Crew - Soul Stealers [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/aslnt_L_wKY/mqdefault.jpg "Leslie Fish & the Dehorn Crew - Soul Stealers [HQ]
Its Sister Jennys Turn to Throw the Bomb track 13. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_its_sister_jennys_turn_to_throw_the_bomb
Find more of Leslie Fishs music at: https://lesliefish.bandcamp.com/
Lyrics:
They come to your cradle early when you’re still too young to fight,
And they pull away the covers, and they take away the light.
And they put your Mom and Dad to sleep, so it does no good to yell.
Soul Stealers come to steal your soul and cast you into hell.
They slip a black sack over your head, and they whisper, “It’s only a dream.”
They paralyze your body, so you cannot run nor scream.
Helpless and invisible, they carry you away
Right past your sleeping family just at the break of day.
Chorus:
Soul Stealers! Soul Stealers! Catch you in their plan.
Soul Stealers! Soul Stealers! Resist them if you can.
Soul Stealers’ ways are many and hard to understand,
For they murmur words of comfort as they take you by the hand.
They’ll show you the painted horses, and they’ll tell you what to feel.
And if you disagree with them, they’ll break you on the wheel.
And when you’ve learned to agree with them and that struggle won’t avail,
They’ll teach you games to play with them; they’ll teach you how to fail.
They’ll slip cold shackles around your feet, and they’ll beat you in the race.
And they’ll teach you that’s your lot in life; they’ll teach you that’s your place.
(Chorus)
They steal the light out of your eyes and the thoughts out of your brain.
They steal the songs right off your lips and the life blood from your veins.
They’ll bend your back and they’ll break your heart; they’ll use you as they will.
They’ll teach you how to work for them, and your soul they’ll take and kill.
And now you know why your Daddy drank and why his hair turned gray,
And why your Mum so seldom laughed, and why they could not play.
And now you think that the Soul Stealers were a nightmare long ago,
But you’re haunted by an emptiness that will not let you go.
(Chorus)")
![Julia Ecklar - Black Widows in the Privy [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/b13TGvHmI0I/mqdefault.jpg "Julia Ecklar - Black Widows in the Privy [HQ]
Horse-Tamers Daughter track 09. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_horse-tamers_daughter
Find more of Julia Ecklars excellent music at: https://www.prometheus-music.com/
Lyrics:
Everyone knows someone wed be better off without,
But best not mention names, for we dont know whos about.
But why commit a murder and risk the fires of hell,
When black widows in the privy can do it just as well?
Now poisons good, and daggers, and arrows in the back,
And if youre really desperate, you can try a front attack,
But are they really worthy of the risk of being caught,
When black widows in the privy need not be bribed or bought?
So if theres one of whom you wish most simply to be rid,
Just wait till dark, then point the way to where the widows hid,
And say to them, “I think youll find that this one is the best,”
And black widows in the privy will gladly do the rest.")
![Bill Sutton - Xenophobia [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/bIpvoUQYU60/mqdefault.jpg "Bill Sutton - Xenophobia [HQ]
Past Due track 05. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_past_due
Lyrics:
Lets be xenophobic, its really in this year
Lets find a nasty, slimy, ugly alien to fear
Theres no more cutesy stories bout E.T. phoning home
Lets learn to love our neighbors, like the Christians learned in Rome
We know we ought to hate em; theyre different, you see
Weve seen theyre mean and ugly on movies and TV
The folks that ought to know have told us how its got to be
The gospel truth is found in scenes from Alien and V
Lets wipe out any lifeform that seems to be a threat
Well serve em up a genocide they never will forget
Cause if we miss a couple, theyll breed a couple more
And soon well all be hating twice as many as before
You see, aliens can never be as good as humankind
A more delightful race than us youll never ever find
So step aside, you star slime, were ready for your worst!
We know you want to beat us, enslave us and defeat us,
Oppress us and browbeat us, unless we get you first!")
![Frank Hayes - S-100 [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/bMS6G83NqFQ/mqdefault.jpg "Frank Hayes - S-100 [HQ]
Dont Ask track 04. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_dont_ask
Lyrics:
When I was young, my friends all worked like fools to get their share
Of an S-100 system, like the IMSAI or Altair;
Well the S-100s still around, Im very glad to say,
But friends, Im here to tell you: it aint the same today.
Chorus:
And its cheer up, me lads, let your hearts never fuss
When youre integrating systems for the S-100 bus.
To tell the truth, the source of all our troubles seems to be
A committee on computers of the I of triple E.
They settled on a standard spec, 696 by name,
Now everything is standardized, but nothing works the same.
(Chorus)
They say the 80 boards are way too slow—its enough to give you fits
If the 09 isnt fast enough, then go to 16 bits
68 and z8000 and an 86 as well
And code compatibility goes straight to bloody hell.
(Chorus)
Then add a board for the modem line and one for every port
And a printer board and a keyboard board, and as a last resort
For every problem we will add a board that has the cure
Its not too damned efficient, but its a mother, thats for sure.
(Chorus)
And when its all assembled, theres computer to your collar
Its nice to have a micro, but a mainframe would be smaller!
And when they turn the power on, its sure to dim the lamps
At plus or minus sixteen volts and fourteen hundred amps.
(Chorus x2)")
![Bob Kanefsky/Leslie Fish - Argos Fire-Breathing Daughter [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/c5dp3Xm_cL8/mqdefault.jpg "Bob Kanefsky/Leslie Fish - Argos Fire-Breathing Daughter [HQ]
Tapeworm I track 13. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_tapeworm_1
Lyrics:
When we pulled into Argo port in need of sky and trees,
We all assumed we’d be allowed to worship as we’d please.
But when one landing party tried to beam down in the nude,
We learned that Argo’s colonists were Bible-thumping prudes.
Chorus:
And we’re banned from Argo, just for spite.
Banned from Argo, just for dancing around at night.
We thought we’d go and worship here for just four days or five,
But Argo nearly burned us all alive.
Our Engineer went with some friends to worship in the wood.
The shore police were quite convinced they were up to do no good.
They said “We’ll have no witches here!”—our Engineer just laughed
And said he’d beam aboard again to practice in his craft.
(Chorus)
Our Doctor went out shopping and he came back with a steer.
The customs people eyed the beast and primly said “Oh, dear.
This must be for your med research.” The Doctor said “Like hell!
It’s the sacrifice Apollo wants each year to keep us well.”
(Chorus)
Our Lady of Communications beamed down with a drum,
And opened hailing frequencies to the ghosts in Kingdom Come.
The dead phone their descendants now each night by telescreen:
All bones and gore, for the flesh they wore is nowhere to be seen.
(Chorus)
Our Captain gives his service to his goddess every day,
But shore leave often tempts the man to try and slip away.
Her sensors found him with five whores he’d picked up in a bar.
She beamed him home, and beamed the whores to the Ladies’ Church Bazaar.
(Chorus)
Some crewmen held a circle in an Argo city park.
They’d beamed into a timezone where the sky was clear and dark.
The noise woke all the neighbors and they came out armed with rocks,
But they turned and fled in terror when they caught a glimpse of Spock.
(Chorus)
Our crew is Starfleet’s finest and perhaps its most diverse.
With sixty-two religions, I suppose we could do worse.
We’re heading out from Argo now, but plan to come back soon
With several hundred photon bombs for bringing down the moon!
(Chorus)")
