![Julia Ecklar - Black Widows in the Privy [HQ] @SongsfromtheStars](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/b13TGvHmI0I/sddefault.jpg)
Uploaded July 2021 | Updated September 2026, 2 hours ago
Horse-Tamer's Daughter track 09. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: archive.org/details/filk_horse-tamers_daughter
Find more of Julia Ecklar's excellent music at: prometheus-music.com
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Lyrics:
Everyone knows someone we'd be better off without,
But best not mention names, for we don't know who's about.
But why commit a murder and risk the fires of hell,
When black widows in the privy can do it just as well?
Now poison's good, and daggers, and arrows in the back,
And if you're really desperate, you can try a front attack,
But are they really worthy of the risk of being caught,
When black widows in the privy need not be bribed or bought?
So if there's one of whom you wish most simply to be rid,
Just wait till dark, then point the way to where the widow's hid,
And say to them, “I think you'll find that this one is the best,”
And black widows in the privy will gladly do the rest.
Horse-Tamer's Daughter track 09. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: archive.org/details/filk_horse-tamers_daughter
Find more of Julia Ecklar's excellent music at: prometheus-music.com
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Lyrics:
Everyone knows someone we'd be better off without,
But best not mention names, for we don't know who's about.
But why commit a murder and risk the fires of hell,
When black widows in the privy can do it just as well?
Now poison's good, and daggers, and arrows in the back,
And if you're really desperate, you can try a front attack,
But are they really worthy of the risk of being caught,
When black widows in the privy need not be bribed or bought?
So if there's one of whom you wish most simply to be rid,
Just wait till dark, then point the way to where the widow's hid,
And say to them, “I think you'll find that this one is the best,”
And black widows in the privy will gladly do the rest.
![Julia Ecklar - Black Widows in the Privy [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/b13TGvHmI0I/mqdefault.jpg "Julia Ecklar - Black Widows in the Privy [HQ]
Horse-Tamers Daughter track 09. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_horse-tamers_daughter
Find more of Julia Ecklars excellent music at: https://www.prometheus-music.com/
Lyrics:
Everyone knows someone wed be better off without,
But best not mention names, for we dont know whos about.
But why commit a murder and risk the fires of hell,
When black widows in the privy can do it just as well?
Now poisons good, and daggers, and arrows in the back,
And if youre really desperate, you can try a front attack,
But are they really worthy of the risk of being caught,
When black widows in the privy need not be bribed or bought?
So if theres one of whom you wish most simply to be rid,
Just wait till dark, then point the way to where the widows hid,
And say to them, “I think youll find that this one is the best,”
And black widows in the privy will gladly do the rest.")
![Bill Sutton - Xenophobia [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/bIpvoUQYU60/mqdefault.jpg "Bill Sutton - Xenophobia [HQ]
Past Due track 05. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_past_due
Lyrics:
Lets be xenophobic, its really in this year
Lets find a nasty, slimy, ugly alien to fear
Theres no more cutesy stories bout E.T. phoning home
Lets learn to love our neighbors, like the Christians learned in Rome
We know we ought to hate em; theyre different, you see
Weve seen theyre mean and ugly on movies and TV
The folks that ought to know have told us how its got to be
The gospel truth is found in scenes from Alien and V
Lets wipe out any lifeform that seems to be a threat
Well serve em up a genocide they never will forget
Cause if we miss a couple, theyll breed a couple more
And soon well all be hating twice as many as before
You see, aliens can never be as good as humankind
A more delightful race than us youll never ever find
So step aside, you star slime, were ready for your worst!
We know you want to beat us, enslave us and defeat us,
Oppress us and browbeat us, unless we get you first!")
![Frank Hayes - S-100 [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/bMS6G83NqFQ/mqdefault.jpg "Frank Hayes - S-100 [HQ]
Dont Ask track 04. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_dont_ask
Lyrics:
When I was young, my friends all worked like fools to get their share
Of an S-100 system, like the IMSAI or Altair;
Well the S-100s still around, Im very glad to say,
But friends, Im here to tell you: it aint the same today.
Chorus:
And its cheer up, me lads, let your hearts never fuss
When youre integrating systems for the S-100 bus.
To tell the truth, the source of all our troubles seems to be
A committee on computers of the I of triple E.
They settled on a standard spec, 696 by name,
Now everything is standardized, but nothing works the same.
(Chorus)
They say the 80 boards are way too slow—its enough to give you fits
If the 09 isnt fast enough, then go to 16 bits
68 and z8000 and an 86 as well
And code compatibility goes straight to bloody hell.
(Chorus)
Then add a board for the modem line and one for every port
And a printer board and a keyboard board, and as a last resort
For every problem we will add a board that has the cure
Its not too damned efficient, but its a mother, thats for sure.
(Chorus)
And when its all assembled, theres computer to your collar
Its nice to have a micro, but a mainframe would be smaller!
And when they turn the power on, its sure to dim the lamps
At plus or minus sixteen volts and fourteen hundred amps.
(Chorus x2)")
![Bob Kanefsky/Leslie Fish - Argos Fire-Breathing Daughter [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/c5dp3Xm_cL8/mqdefault.jpg "Bob Kanefsky/Leslie Fish - Argos Fire-Breathing Daughter [HQ]
Tapeworm I track 13. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_tapeworm_1
Lyrics:
When we pulled into Argo port in need of sky and trees,
We all assumed we’d be allowed to worship as we’d please.
But when one landing party tried to beam down in the nude,
We learned that Argo’s colonists were Bible-thumping prudes.
Chorus:
And we’re banned from Argo, just for spite.
Banned from Argo, just for dancing around at night.
We thought we’d go and worship here for just four days or five,
But Argo nearly burned us all alive.
Our Engineer went with some friends to worship in the wood.
The shore police were quite convinced they were up to do no good.
They said “We’ll have no witches here!”—our Engineer just laughed
And said he’d beam aboard again to practice in his craft.
(Chorus)
Our Doctor went out shopping and he came back with a steer.
The customs people eyed the beast and primly said “Oh, dear.
This must be for your med research.” The Doctor said “Like hell!
It’s the sacrifice Apollo wants each year to keep us well.”
(Chorus)
Our Lady of Communications beamed down with a drum,
And opened hailing frequencies to the ghosts in Kingdom Come.
The dead phone their descendants now each night by telescreen:
All bones and gore, for the flesh they wore is nowhere to be seen.
(Chorus)
Our Captain gives his service to his goddess every day,
But shore leave often tempts the man to try and slip away.
Her sensors found him with five whores he’d picked up in a bar.
She beamed him home, and beamed the whores to the Ladies’ Church Bazaar.
(Chorus)
Some crewmen held a circle in an Argo city park.
They’d beamed into a timezone where the sky was clear and dark.
The noise woke all the neighbors and they came out armed with rocks,
But they turned and fled in terror when they caught a glimpse of Spock.
(Chorus)
Our crew is Starfleet’s finest and perhaps its most diverse.
With sixty-two religions, I suppose we could do worse.
We’re heading out from Argo now, but plan to come back soon
With several hundred photon bombs for bringing down the moon!
(Chorus)")
![Jordin Kare - Pioneers Song [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/cANcPrJ9BJ0/mqdefault.jpg "Jordin Kare - Pioneers Song [HQ]
Fire in the Sky track 11. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_fire_in_the_sky
Lyrics:
We sent them out to the planets, to worlds beyond our own
Where frail men dared not venture they traveled on alone
Though they be no more than robots, yet to the stars they steer
And we wish them on their journey all the luck of the Pioneer
They set their course for Jupiter, the ruler of the worlds
To gain their speed from his mighty pull as from a slingshot hurled
They stole for us his image, his secrets guarded dear
But gave in turn a royal gift in the luck of the Pioneer
Then on and out to Saturn, the ringèd queen of skies
And through the very rings themselves they carried our distant eyes
We feared then for their safety, but they could know no fear
And they left their name on the gap they found by the luck of the Pioneer
The sun grows dim behind them, a billion miles or more
The stars are eer before them, a glittering distant shore
An age will pass before the day some strange sun draws them near
And till that day well raise a toast to the luck of the Pioneer
But should some other find them as the galaxy they roam
And study these strange craft of ours and seek to learn their home
Why, they carry our maps upon them in friendship written clear
And we give to the race that reads them all the luck of the Pioneer
And when men someday follow to the places they have been
Well take the paths theyve marked for us, well see the sights theyve seen
To Jupiter and Saturn, to the stars themselves well steer
And pray that God but grant us then the luck of the Pioneer
Aye, we pray that God but grant us then the luck of the Pioneer")
![Jordin Kare - Psi-Nought [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/cDze5mZB24k/mqdefault.jpg "Jordin Kare - Psi-Nought [HQ]
Parody Violation track 11. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_parody_violation
Lyrics (TTTO The Rattlin Bog):
Chorus: Psi-nought, the vacuum state, the state of minimum energy
Psi-nought, the vacuum state, the state of minimum energy
And in that state there is a field, a Higgs field, a vector field
Field in the state, the state of minimum energy
(Chorus)
And in that field there is a string, a fine string, a superstring
String in the field...
(Chorus)
And on that string there is a wave, a fine wave, a quantum wave
A wave on the string...
(Chorus)
And from that wave we form a quark, a fine quark, a charming quark
Quark from the wave...
(Chorus)
And on that quark there is a charge, a fine charge, a color charge
Charge on the quark...
(Chorus)
And on that charge there is a force, a fine force, a binding force
Force on the charge...
(Chorus)
And from that force we get a mass, a fine mass, a baryon mass
Mass from the force...
(Chorus)
And from that mass we get a verse, a fine verse, a universe
Verse from the mass...
(Chorus)
To sing that verse, we need a man, a fine man [Feynman] like Richard P.
Man for the verse...
(Chorus)")
![Aislinn (Anne Prather) - Skybound [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/cdhfktoATXg/mqdefault.jpg "Aislinn (Anne Prather) - Skybound [HQ]
High Wings track 8. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_high_wings
Lyrics:
Sky-bound were flying
Watching birds and learning how to soar.
Always were trying
To reach the stars weve never reached before
And the ancient myths recount
Tales of steeds whose wings could not have flown
But Bellerophon sought out
A Pegasus to call his very own
And your winged chariot sings
Revealer of many things
Of people whove found their wings.
(Chorus)
Is it of Paradise or Hell
That all the ancient legends tell?
Did Icarus really fly?
Or leave us to wonder why
Were so caught up in the sky?
Sky-bound youre going
Though some have called you lunatics and fools
Journey past knowing
Around the world without a stop for fuel
And the ancient stories say
Phaeton could not command the sun
But you proved him wrong that day
Youve done what Phaeton could not have done
And your winged chariot sings
Forecast of many things
Yes Jeana, youve found your wings.
Chorus
Sky-bound returning
While the world looks on in innocent delight
His voice discerning
Heralding the ending of the flight
But it is your soul I see
His voice it may have been that told the tale
But your spirit held the dream
And your perseverance made the flight prevail
And your winged chariot sings
Ballad of many things
Yes, Jeana youve shown me your wings.")
![Free Fall & Other Delights 19 - Stuck Here [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/dD9iFAOG8zA/mqdefault.jpg "Free Fall & Other Delights 19 - Stuck Here [HQ]
Sung by Frank Hayes. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_free_fall_and_other_delights
Lyrics:
When you build a ship to sail deep space, you cant have a crew of mortal race,
Cause a hundred years from star to star with a human crew is just too far.
Think of all the beer youd have to carry!
Not to mention food, and...other necessities.
So you fill your ship with a robot crew, and you build a computer captain, too
You get some experience for free, from some old spacers personality
Like maybe an old shuttle pilot whos just learned from his last mistake.
Thats where I come in.
So you take some bloke whos halfway dead, and you haul him home and you scan his head,
And a hundred years of flying high is a damn good deal when youre about to die...
Till youve had a decade or two to think it over.
It gets lonely out here!
And a thousand frozen colonists dont count.
So there, behind my solar sail, are five hundred hunks of frozen tail
If I thawed one out, and I know I could, it wouldnt do me a bit of good.
What would I use?
Dont have any damn body, just this starship.
Couldnt even...well, anyway...
Now, a couple of billion miles astern, its another lonesome suckers turn
So Ill radio back, and Ill say, Hey, you! —Oh, I didnt know they took women, too!
Heh, lovely night out tonight, isnt it?
Look at all those pretty stars!
Yeah, me too.
So well talk and murmur I love you, like other star-crossed lovers do,
And in eighty years weve made a date. Ever see two starships mate?
Weve got all these robots, and we figure we can put together...
Um...
None of your damn business.")
![Julia Ecklar - The Bait [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/dEQZ58i2TLA/mqdefault.jpg "Julia Ecklar - The Bait [HQ]
Horse-Tamers Daughter track 02. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_horse-tamers_daughter
Find more of Julia Ecklars excellent music at: https://www.prometheus-music.com/
Lyrics:
He plunges through the forest night, his eyes are wide with fear;
Behind him he can hear the sounds that means the hunt is near.
Then fair before him lies the trap, and in the trap, the bait.
He trembles, kneels, and lays his horn upon the lap of Fate.
And now the hunt converges on the spellbound unicorn.
The hunters mean to slay the beast and take his precious horn.
So gleeful in their greed and lust, they have not paused to see
This maid is not the peasant girl that they left tied to the tree.
Now as they raise their spears, she casts red lightnings from her hands.
Their limbs are bound fast to their sides, as if with iron bands.
She rises. In her voice is rage and hatred in her eyes.
“Cruel killers of a dream, full well you merit death,” she cries.
“Though you spread terror, pain, and fear, rough justice shall you see:
And as you have the hunters been, so shall you hunted be!”
Now once again out from her hands the lightnings dance and flare.
Where once each man had stood, there was a small and frightened hare.
“From moon to sun, to moon again, run hunted, evil men,
And pray the Lady spares your lives.” They fled in terror then.
She said, “Theres others of your kind; they too may die unless—
Shall we turn hunter, you and I?” The unicorn said yes.")
![Leslie Fish - Digwell Carol [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/dKT1r-8viHk/mqdefault.jpg "Leslie Fish - Digwell Carol [HQ]
Firestorm track 19. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_firestorm
Find more of Leslie Fishs music at: https://lesliefish.bandcamp.com/
Lyrics:
It is the time of Digwell, now summers gone away
People come from miles around to meet on Digwell Day
We all come here with mighty stones, with gravel, rocks, and sand
Bring it here with oxcarts or with buckets in your hand
Chorus:
Pile high, pile high, the Devils underground
Pile high, pile high, keep the Devil down
And bring you all your blighted crops and blighted beasts beside
And coffins of this seasons dead that of the blight have died
Bring them to the mountains top and fetch the boulders near
Tis fitting that the blighted dead should all be buried here
(Chorus)
So fetch the boulders, sand, and stones, and pile them deeply here
We bury now the sorrows, sins, and bad luck of the year
And when the mountains higher by the mound we build today
Then we shall feast and dance and sing this autumn night away
(Chorus)
For back in our forefathers time, the Devils ruled this land
They made cruel wars and laws to rule the folks on every hand
They spoiled the land and water, and they poisoned half the sky
They cared for nothing but their power, though man and nature die
(Chorus)
In time the danger grew so fierce it threatened them as well
And so they dug deep in the Earth and hid them safe in Hell
They hoped to wait in comfort till the poisons wore away
For then they could come out again and rule another day
(Chorus)
They hid themselves below the ground and left the people here
Amid the blight that they had made and even they must fear
But still the people stayed alive, and well they promised then
That all the devils hid in Hell would never rule again
(Chorus)
And so our fathers hunted till they found the secret gate
And there they piled the boulders high, above where Devils wait
And thus weve ever after done these many years and more
So now our man-made mountain stands upon their exit door
(Chorus x2)")
![Leslie Fish - The Discards [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/d_YQaZpdEII/mqdefault.jpg "Leslie Fish - The Discards [HQ]
Firestorm track 14. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_firestorm
Find more of Leslie Fishs music at: https://lesliefish.bandcamp.com/
Lyrics:
Look on the horizon!
What do my eyes behold?
Is that a herd of bison
Or a convoy rolling bold?
Could that be my old master
And all his princely crew,
Who ran from all disaster
That they put us peasants through,
They put us peasants through?
Who else would roll so proudly
Across this blasted land?
Who else would bitch so loudly
On every channel band?
Now do they think that no one
Could stay out here alive
Or did they think us low ones
Were too stupid to survive,
Too stupid to survive?
Why did they leave their bunkers
They built so long ago?
Did they come forth to conquer
Or did their food run low?
Their wheels so sleek and bossy,
All stuffed with high-tech gear,
No longer look so glossy
After driving long out here,
Driving long out here.
For what looks good in planning
May not be built to last;
Tech toys wear out with manning,
Replacements run out fast.
The salesmans proud assurance
Wont hold you up in Hell—
Survival means endurance
And weve learned that lesson well,
Weve learned that lesson well.
For when they fled the city
And left us to our fate,
No panic and no pity,
Nor did we stand and wait.
The junkyard left unguarded
We looted for our tools—
We may have been discarded
But that didnt make us fools,
That didnt make us fools.
So come on, dear old master
And see whats waiting here
Our wheels can roll the faster
For lack of fragile gear
Weve stripped down to essentials
Of armor, wheels, and gun
Dont send me your credentials;
This is no computer run,
No computer run.
No radar for your jamming,
No lasers to deflect,
Just armor made for ramming
And bullets worth respect.
No comps for your miscoding,
No optics to distrust,
Your chips are overloading
And your laser eats my dust,
Your laser eats my dust.
Now one of you is burning,
Anothers punctured well,
A third is overturning,
A fourth is blown to hell.
The fifth is losing power,
The sixth has lost a wheel—
This fight wont last the hour;
Tell me, master, will you deal?
Master, will you deal?
Ill leave you live and walking,
As much as you left me!
Surrender or quit talking;
Choose death or poverty.
Ah, youre running like the others!
My guns come up to line!
Your friends can face my brothers,
Master, your sweet ass is mine,
Your sweet ass is mine.")
![Julia Ecklar - Threes [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/djpfJzxG0-E/mqdefault.jpg "Julia Ecklar - Threes [HQ]
Horse-Tamers Daughter track 07. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_horse-tamers_daughter
Find more of Julia Ecklars excellent music at: https://www.prometheus-music.com/
Lyrics:
Deep into the stony hills, miles from keep or hold,
A troop of guards comes riding with a lady and her gold,
Riding in the center, shrouded in her cloak of fur,
Companioned by a maiden and a toothless, aged cur.
Three things see no end: a flower blighted ere it bloomed,
A message that was wasted, and a journey that was doomed.
One among the guardsmen has a shifting, restless eye,
And as they ride, he scans the hills that rise against the sky.
He wears a sword and bracelet worth more than he can afford
And hidden in his baggage is a heavy, secret hoard.
Of three things be wary: of the hungry, hunting cat,
The shepherd eating mutton, and the guardsman that is fat.
From ambush, bandits screaming charge the pack train and its prize.
All but four within the train are taken by surprise,
And all but four are cut down as a woodsman fells a log:
The guardsman and the lady and the maiden and the dog.
Three things know a secret: first, the lady in a dream,
The dog who barks no warning, and the maid who does not scream.
Then off the lady pulls her cloak. In armor she is clad.
Her sword is out and ready, and her eyes are fierce and glad.
The maiden gestures briefly, and the dogs a cur no more.
A wolf, swordmaid, and sorceress now face the bandit corps.
Three things never anger, or you will not live for long:
A wolf with cubs, a man with power, and a womans sense of wrong.
The bandits growl a challenge and the lady only grins,
The sorceress bows mockingly, and then the fight begins.
When it ends there are but four left standing from that horde:
The witch, the wolf, the traitor, and the woman with the sword.
Three things never trust in: the maiden sworn as pure,
The vows a king has given, and the ambush that is sure.
Theyve stripped the traitor naked and theyve whipped him on his way
Into the barren hillsides, like the folk he used to slay.
They take a thorough vengeance for the women hes cut down
And then they mount their horses and they journey back to town.
Three things trust and cherish well: the horse on which you ride,
The beast that guards and watches, and the sister at your side.")
