Uploaded August 2020 | Updated September 2026, 1 hour ago
Amanda and her husband were overseas Christian missionaries. Shortly after their wedding, he started to act differently: impossible to please, critical, making false accusations. Amanda (not her real name) was shocked and hurt, but she was a conservative person of faith who took the sanctity of marriage seriously. She tells why she stayed, and how she made the decision to leave. (Her husband was officially diagnosed as having Paranoid Personality Disorder, but refused treatment.)
Part 1 - Amanda and Gretchen talk about her story in the book "The Life-Saving Divorce" (pp. 58-60), from the time she met her husband until things started falling apart. She talks about the false messages that caused her to stay in a toxic destructive situation.
Part 2 - Amanda talks about why she left and how her children are now. She talks about the secret to being a good single parent, and how she took the high road and walked the fine line between protecting herself and her children AND cooperating with her ex-husband in co-parenting together. She discusses the dangers of nouthetic counselors (those who believe their view of the Bible can fix any marriage) and the importance of loving, caring counselors who care about your safety.
Part 3 - Amanda talks about finding happiness, peace, and safety. She discusses the key issues in divorce recovery: Dealing with anger, forgiveness, loneliness, raising kids, safe friends/churches, rebuilding her self-respect, and how her relationship with God has grown through it all.
What if your spouse is mentally ill AND frightening? What if their behavior is scary, but you feel pity for them because they may not be able to control their thoughts or actions? Can you still divorce them? Yes, if even their best attempts aren't good enough, you may have to get away to protect your life and sanity...and your children's.
INTERVIEWER:
Gretchen Baskerville is a Christian divorce recovery leader and researcher. For more than 20 years, she has worked with Christian women and men going through difficult, life-saving divorces, listening with compassion to those who have suffered from domestic violence, betrayal, infidelity, and emotional abuse. She helps heartbroken people find strength and courage and healing.
Her book, "The Life-Saving Divorce" is about the half of U.S. divorces that are for very serious reasons. She will give you optimism about your children's future (nearly 8 in 10 children turn out fine after divorce, according to top researchers); and will help you understand emotional abuse, "gaslighting," the abuse cycle, and tips for surviving high-conflict divorces.
FOR MORE ON MENTALLY ILL SPOUSES, read p. 111-112, 178, 184, 260, in The Life-Saving Divorce book.
What's a Life-Saving Divorce? A Life-Saving Divorce is a divorce for the serious reasons: a pattern of chronic emotional abuse, infidelity, domestic violence, sexual immorality, felony behavior, neglect, substance abuse, etc.
How to Get the Book, "The Life-Saving Divorce: Hope for People Leaving Destructive Relationships"
Paperback Book/Kindle via Amazon: amzn.to/3CCBsnr As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Follow Gretchen Baskerville:
Subscribe to Gretchen's You Tube channel: youtube.com/channel/UCRgtUNfTlYIRDt8iOK6XPKQ
Facebook: facebook.com/gretchen.baskerville
Twitter: twitter.com/GGBaskerville
Instagram: instagram.com/gretchenbaskerville
Other helpful links
Website and Blog: LifeSavingDivorce.com
Divorce Story Interviews: LifeSavingDivorce.com/interviews
Life-Saving Divorce Email Signup: LifeSavingDivorce.com/courage
Amanda and her husband were overseas Christian missionaries. Shortly after their wedding, he started to act differently: impossible to please, critical, making false accusations. Amanda (not her real name) was shocked and hurt, but she was a conservative person of faith who took the sanctity of marriage seriously. She tells why she stayed, and how she made the decision to leave. (Her husband was officially diagnosed as having Paranoid Personality Disorder, but refused treatment.)
Part 1 - Amanda and Gretchen talk about her story in the book "The Life-Saving Divorce" (pp. 58-60), from the time she met her husband until things started falling apart. She talks about the false messages that caused her to stay in a toxic destructive situation.
Part 2 - Amanda talks about why she left and how her children are now. She talks about the secret to being a good single parent, and how she took the high road and walked the fine line between protecting herself and her children AND cooperating with her ex-husband in co-parenting together. She discusses the dangers of nouthetic counselors (those who believe their view of the Bible can fix any marriage) and the importance of loving, caring counselors who care about your safety.
Part 3 - Amanda talks about finding happiness, peace, and safety. She discusses the key issues in divorce recovery: Dealing with anger, forgiveness, loneliness, raising kids, safe friends/churches, rebuilding her self-respect, and how her relationship with God has grown through it all.
What if your spouse is mentally ill AND frightening? What if their behavior is scary, but you feel pity for them because they may not be able to control their thoughts or actions? Can you still divorce them? Yes, if even their best attempts aren't good enough, you may have to get away to protect your life and sanity...and your children's.
INTERVIEWER:
Gretchen Baskerville is a Christian divorce recovery leader and researcher. For more than 20 years, she has worked with Christian women and men going through difficult, life-saving divorces, listening with compassion to those who have suffered from domestic violence, betrayal, infidelity, and emotional abuse. She helps heartbroken people find strength and courage and healing.
Her book, "The Life-Saving Divorce" is about the half of U.S. divorces that are for very serious reasons. She will give you optimism about your children's future (nearly 8 in 10 children turn out fine after divorce, according to top researchers); and will help you understand emotional abuse, "gaslighting," the abuse cycle, and tips for surviving high-conflict divorces.
FOR MORE ON MENTALLY ILL SPOUSES, read p. 111-112, 178, 184, 260, in The Life-Saving Divorce book.
What's a Life-Saving Divorce? A Life-Saving Divorce is a divorce for the serious reasons: a pattern of chronic emotional abuse, infidelity, domestic violence, sexual immorality, felony behavior, neglect, substance abuse, etc.
How to Get the Book, "The Life-Saving Divorce: Hope for People Leaving Destructive Relationships"
Paperback Book/Kindle via Amazon: amzn.to/3CCBsnr As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Follow Gretchen Baskerville:
Subscribe to Gretchen's You Tube channel: youtube.com/channel/UCRgtUNfTlYIRDt8iOK6XPKQ
Facebook: facebook.com/gretchen.baskerville
Twitter: twitter.com/GGBaskerville
Instagram: instagram.com/gretchenbaskerville
Other helpful links
Website and Blog: LifeSavingDivorce.com
Divorce Story Interviews: LifeSavingDivorce.com/interviews
Life-Saving Divorce Email Signup: LifeSavingDivorce.com/courage
