Uploaded March 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
A boundary sounds like “I” statements
•“If voices get raised, I’m going to take a break from the conversation.”
•“I’m not available for work calls after 6 pm.”�
Attempts at control sound like statements focused on “YOU” (the other person).
•“You’re not allowed to raise your voice.”
•“You need to stop calling me after work.”
Next time you need to set a boundary, ask yourself whether what you’re saying focuses on your behavior or the other person’s.
And if you’re new here, hit the subscribe button for more from a boundaries expert and psychotherapist ❤️And let me know your thoughts in the comments xo
🔑 Ready to build healthier relationships? Join: terricole.com/tcm
🌸 Up-level your impact and achieve your goals: terricole.com/flourish
📚 Boundary Boss Book: boundarybossbook.com
📚 Too Much Book: hfcbook.com
📚 Get my books:
Boundary Boss Book: amzn.to/44DZID9
The Boundary Boss Workbook: amzn.to/3Ra7CRU
Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency: hfcbook.com
🪔 Meditate with me:
Insight Timer: https://insig.ht/cpKnbJB4KDb (I have a bunch of free meditations on here and love this app!)
Connect With Me
📸 Instagram: terricole.com/ig
📩 Newsletter: terricole.com/newsletter
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, The Boundary Boss Workbook, and Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see terricole.com
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
terricole.com/gethelp -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger, the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust.
A boundary sounds like “I” statements
•“If voices get raised, I’m going to take a break from the conversation.”
•“I’m not available for work calls after 6 pm.”�
Attempts at control sound like statements focused on “YOU” (the other person).
•“You’re not allowed to raise your voice.”
•“You need to stop calling me after work.”
Next time you need to set a boundary, ask yourself whether what you’re saying focuses on your behavior or the other person’s.
And if you’re new here, hit the subscribe button for more from a boundaries expert and psychotherapist ❤️And let me know your thoughts in the comments xo
🔑 Ready to build healthier relationships? Join: terricole.com/tcm
🌸 Up-level your impact and achieve your goals: terricole.com/flourish
📚 Boundary Boss Book: boundarybossbook.com
📚 Too Much Book: hfcbook.com
📚 Get my books:
Boundary Boss Book: amzn.to/44DZID9
The Boundary Boss Workbook: amzn.to/3Ra7CRU
Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency: hfcbook.com
🪔 Meditate with me:
Insight Timer: https://insig.ht/cpKnbJB4KDb (I have a bunch of free meditations on here and love this app!)
Connect With Me
📸 Instagram: terricole.com/ig
📩 Newsletter: terricole.com/newsletter
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, The Boundary Boss Workbook, and Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see terricole.com
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
terricole.com/gethelp -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger, the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust.
