Uploaded August 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Part of healing is going back to that child and saying something like, "What happened to you was wrong. You were right to be angry. Let's learn how to meet that need now. Let's learn how to protect you now. Let's learn how to love you now."
To get there, it helps to name what actually happened. A violation of love often looks like disrespect, like being invalidated. Think about what daily life looked like for a lot of children who grew up with Complex Trauma. Talked down to. Ignored. Their pain minimized or brushed off like it didn't matter. Blamed for things that weren't their fault. Made fun of, teased, put down with little comments that chipped away at them a bit at a time. Talked to in a way that felt more like being managed than being loved.
None of that happened once. For a lot of people, it happened over and over, day after day, until it just became what normal felt like.
That's why the anger was there in the first place. It was never the problem. It was a response to something that genuinely wasn't okay.
This is part of our new series on anger, new parts every Friday on YouTube. If any of this feels familiar, reach out to us at timfletcher.ca, support is available.
Part of healing is going back to that child and saying something like, "What happened to you was wrong. You were right to be angry. Let's learn how to meet that need now. Let's learn how to protect you now. Let's learn how to love you now."
To get there, it helps to name what actually happened. A violation of love often looks like disrespect, like being invalidated. Think about what daily life looked like for a lot of children who grew up with Complex Trauma. Talked down to. Ignored. Their pain minimized or brushed off like it didn't matter. Blamed for things that weren't their fault. Made fun of, teased, put down with little comments that chipped away at them a bit at a time. Talked to in a way that felt more like being managed than being loved.
None of that happened once. For a lot of people, it happened over and over, day after day, until it just became what normal felt like.
That's why the anger was there in the first place. It was never the problem. It was a response to something that genuinely wasn't okay.
This is part of our new series on anger, new parts every Friday on YouTube. If any of this feels familiar, reach out to us at timfletcher.ca, support is available.
