House Hexagon | Why Reddit Is A Complete Joke @HouseHexagon | Uploaded 3 years ago | Updated 3 hours ago
Greg's alarm strikes at 7 AM, as it always does. Greg knows what that means- it's time for work. Greg wishes his wife a good day, but she just, as ever, ignores him. Greg goes to the bathroom and looks in the mirror. His hair is slowly starting to bald, as it does when you're in your 30's. "At least I have a beard", he thinks to himself as he flexes his non-existent muscles, showing off his Horde logo tattoo that he definietly doesn't regret. "God bless America".
Greg goes in his car and drives to work, listening to his mid 2000's CD on the radio. Greg doesn't like to talk about his job. Secretly, he's not proud of it. It's not the job he thought he would be doing at this point in his life. "But at least it pays the bills..." he repeats to himself.
After another 8 hours of a gruelling corporate shift, Greg returns home exhausted. As soon as he comes through the door, he is hounded by his wife. Greg's Wife yells "You got the money?" Greg responds in an exhausted fashion: "Yes dear...it's in the bank." Greg's wife then shrugs and begins to browse Amazon for the next product that will justify her existence for the next few days. "Phew, what a day. Time to enjoy myself.", Greg thinks to himself as he goes into his room.
Greg turns on his i9 dual SLI Nvidia RTX 3080Ti gaming PC and opens up his favourite game: World of Warcraft Classic. Greg only likes to play the classic version of the game. "They don't make games like this anymore. The retail version was totally ruined." Greg reminds himself. Greg logs on his level 35 Troll Warrior and continues to level up in Desolace, listening to AC/DC.
As Greg was levelling, he noticed people arguing in the world chat. Apparently Blizzard had announced that they were adding something called a "boost". Apparently, you now could pay real money to get ahead. Greg never had the time to reach max level, as he was too busy working- and even when he wasn't, he was busy looking after his 7 sons and 5 daughters. It always annoyed Greg how he couldn't catch up to those damn 20 year olds anymore. "Some of us have lives..." Greg repeated to himself. "If I was in my 20's still...I'd be just as hardcore as them!" he repeated to himself.
But with the boost, no longer would Greg have to worry about his lack of time. Now, he could work for his corporate bosses and then spend his hard earned Federal Reserve Freshly Printed United States Dollars to catch up. "Don't like it, don't buy it!", Greg told everyone on the Internet.
In May 2021, World of Warcraft The Burning Crusade Classic was released to the world. Greg boosted his Troll Warrior to level 58 on the first day it came out, gladly paying the 60 dollar fee, (after asking his wife for permission, of course). It took Greg another 7 months to get to level 70, but when he did, he felt such a sense of pride and accomplishment. Greg cracked his knuckles and sat back in his chair. "Still got it", he said aloud.
Being max level, it was finally time for him to raid, just like the good ol' days. Greg ended up joining a guild called Proud Dads, a guild specifically for intellectuals over 30. "No zoomers!" was their only rule. "What more could you ever need?" Greg chuckled to himself and his newfound "dadbros" on Discord, while browsing high quality intellectual memes on his favourite subreddit r/classicwow.
Unfortunately, as time went on, Greg soon realised that raiding was too hard, as he didn't have the time to grind gold for flasks and flying. "Some of us have lives..." Greg once again reminded himself. Fortunately, Blizzard was listening and decided to implement a new system known as "The WoW Token". "We believe in giving players more ways to enjoy our games" said Activision CEO Bobby Kotick in an interview.
There, Greg stood, on his level 70 boosted character, on his token bought flying mount, wearing his trading card game store bought tabard. "Just like the good ol' days" Greg said, with a tear rolling down his cheek.
Greg sat back in his chair and closed his eyes, thinking back to 2007. He was in college, had a bright future ahead of him. He would raid with his firends, also in his 20's, calling all the casuals "noobz" as he enjoyed his hard earned epics. Life was so much simpler. Greg burst into tears thinking back at the memories of his past- but also looking at himself today.
He knows that he was a mere shadow of his past self. Never would he be the hardcore maverick he was back in the day. Never would be relive the paradise of his past. Forever, he would go onwards, living in his non-Hexagonal House, working at his boring corporate job for a family that hates him, living a life of lies. As when the truth hurts- lies are all we have to keep us going.
"Just like..." Greg paused, wiping away his tears. "The good ol' days..."
Greg then saw the time, got in bed- and prepared for work tomorrow.
"Some of us have lives..."
Greg's alarm strikes at 7 AM, as it always does. Greg knows what that means- it's time for work. Greg wishes his wife a good day, but she just, as ever, ignores him. Greg goes to the bathroom and looks in the mirror. His hair is slowly starting to bald, as it does when you're in your 30's. "At least I have a beard", he thinks to himself as he flexes his non-existent muscles, showing off his Horde logo tattoo that he definietly doesn't regret. "God bless America".
Greg goes in his car and drives to work, listening to his mid 2000's CD on the radio. Greg doesn't like to talk about his job. Secretly, he's not proud of it. It's not the job he thought he would be doing at this point in his life. "But at least it pays the bills..." he repeats to himself.
After another 8 hours of a gruelling corporate shift, Greg returns home exhausted. As soon as he comes through the door, he is hounded by his wife. Greg's Wife yells "You got the money?" Greg responds in an exhausted fashion: "Yes dear...it's in the bank." Greg's wife then shrugs and begins to browse Amazon for the next product that will justify her existence for the next few days. "Phew, what a day. Time to enjoy myself.", Greg thinks to himself as he goes into his room.
Greg turns on his i9 dual SLI Nvidia RTX 3080Ti gaming PC and opens up his favourite game: World of Warcraft Classic. Greg only likes to play the classic version of the game. "They don't make games like this anymore. The retail version was totally ruined." Greg reminds himself. Greg logs on his level 35 Troll Warrior and continues to level up in Desolace, listening to AC/DC.
As Greg was levelling, he noticed people arguing in the world chat. Apparently Blizzard had announced that they were adding something called a "boost". Apparently, you now could pay real money to get ahead. Greg never had the time to reach max level, as he was too busy working- and even when he wasn't, he was busy looking after his 7 sons and 5 daughters. It always annoyed Greg how he couldn't catch up to those damn 20 year olds anymore. "Some of us have lives..." Greg repeated to himself. "If I was in my 20's still...I'd be just as hardcore as them!" he repeated to himself.
But with the boost, no longer would Greg have to worry about his lack of time. Now, he could work for his corporate bosses and then spend his hard earned Federal Reserve Freshly Printed United States Dollars to catch up. "Don't like it, don't buy it!", Greg told everyone on the Internet.
In May 2021, World of Warcraft The Burning Crusade Classic was released to the world. Greg boosted his Troll Warrior to level 58 on the first day it came out, gladly paying the 60 dollar fee, (after asking his wife for permission, of course). It took Greg another 7 months to get to level 70, but when he did, he felt such a sense of pride and accomplishment. Greg cracked his knuckles and sat back in his chair. "Still got it", he said aloud.
Being max level, it was finally time for him to raid, just like the good ol' days. Greg ended up joining a guild called Proud Dads, a guild specifically for intellectuals over 30. "No zoomers!" was their only rule. "What more could you ever need?" Greg chuckled to himself and his newfound "dadbros" on Discord, while browsing high quality intellectual memes on his favourite subreddit r/classicwow.
Unfortunately, as time went on, Greg soon realised that raiding was too hard, as he didn't have the time to grind gold for flasks and flying. "Some of us have lives..." Greg once again reminded himself. Fortunately, Blizzard was listening and decided to implement a new system known as "The WoW Token". "We believe in giving players more ways to enjoy our games" said Activision CEO Bobby Kotick in an interview.
There, Greg stood, on his level 70 boosted character, on his token bought flying mount, wearing his trading card game store bought tabard. "Just like the good ol' days" Greg said, with a tear rolling down his cheek.
Greg sat back in his chair and closed his eyes, thinking back to 2007. He was in college, had a bright future ahead of him. He would raid with his firends, also in his 20's, calling all the casuals "noobz" as he enjoyed his hard earned epics. Life was so much simpler. Greg burst into tears thinking back at the memories of his past- but also looking at himself today.
He knows that he was a mere shadow of his past self. Never would he be the hardcore maverick he was back in the day. Never would be relive the paradise of his past. Forever, he would go onwards, living in his non-Hexagonal House, working at his boring corporate job for a family that hates him, living a life of lies. As when the truth hurts- lies are all we have to keep us going.
"Just like..." Greg paused, wiping away his tears. "The good ol' days..."
Greg then saw the time, got in bed- and prepared for work tomorrow.
"Some of us have lives..."
