We Dont Have to Live This Way @BrianHoldsworth
We Dont Have to Live This Way  @BrianHoldsworth
Uploaded September 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
“We embrace individualism and are then mystified by how we all became a solitary individuals.”

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Why does it seem like so many normal, functional young people have no friends?

The usual answer is smartphones and social media, and they haven’t helped. But I think the loneliness epidemic points to something deeper. Friendship has always depended on things held in common: shared loves, shared beliefs, shared customs, shared language, and a shared way of life.

Modern Western culture has spent generations dismantling those things in the name of individualism, consumer choice, tolerance, and personal autonomy. And now we’re surprised to discover that radically independent individuals are increasingly alone.

In this video, I look at the collapse of friendship and community, C.S. Lewis’s understanding of friendship as a shared love, the importance of culture and etiquette, and why traditional Christian communities may possess precisely what our increasingly lonely society has lost.

00:00 The viral video about having zero friends
01:40 The statistics behind the loneliness epidemic
04:03 Why smartphones aren’t the whole explanation
05:04 What C.S. Lewis understood about friendship
06:24 What “community” actually means
07:55 Individualism and the destruction of common ground
08:45 Why common belief produces common culture
09:53 Multiculturalism, language, and social cohesion
12:24 The forgotten importance of etiquette
13:43 Why traditional communities still work
14:28 Christianity be the answer to loneliness?

Music written and generously provided by Paul Jernberg. Find out more about his work as a composer here: pauljernberg.com

Podcast Version: brianholdsworth.libsyn.com
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Brian Holdsworth |

We Don't Have to Live This Way

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