Uploaded March 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Did you know that highways were actually invented by Australian Aboriginal people? It’s true! Well, kind of—at least according to some of our finest universities.
The University of Melbourne—consistently ranked among the finest in Australia and the world—publishes a steady stream of content on its YouTube page. You’ll find videos like:
• Celebrating the Hindu festival of Holi at UniMelb, which features the quote: “It’s purple. It’s mystery. Law is mystery.” I’ll tell you what’s a mystery: how someone actually gets a law degree saying things like that.
• Wominjeka 2026—essentially an Aboriginal Welcome to Country that is plastered on their buildings in both standard colours and, of course, the LGBT rainbow version.
• The Chinese Year of the Horse, with the quote: “It means moving forward and being brave.” At least that one makes sense. And…
• The Midsumma Pride March 2026, just to name a few.
As they say, “If it ain’t woke, don’t fix it.” Or is it: “If it ain’t woke, make sure it becomes woke and rub it in everyone’s faces—especially the students.”
But the one University of Melbourne video I’d like to look at today (and thank you to the viewer who sent this in) is titled: “Cultural and Indigenous Astronomy.”
They introduce the video by noting: “Cool things we’ve learnt from Indigenous astronomers.” They then pivot to what I hinted at earlier: “Our roads and cities come from star maps.” Yes, apparently our urban planning is actually an Aboriginal-inspired intergalactic grid. It definitely had nothing to do with surveyors, civil engineers, or, you know, British colonisation.
Back to the video: “Aboriginal people mapped out trade routes. These routes are called Songlines, which are encoded in song.” Yes, the roads you drive on actually double as a musical score, which is great news for anyone whose car radio is broken.
A quick Google search reveals that “Songlines, also known as Dreaming tracks or footprints of the ancestors, are intricate, oral-tradition paths spanning Australia that map the routes taken by Creator Beings during the Dreamtime.” Yes, when you drive along the M1, you’re not just stuck in gridlock; you’re following the pathways of the gods! Though, judging by the traffic at 5:00 PM, even the gods probably would’ve taken a backstreet.
But they’re not just roads. According to ABC News: “In Aboriginal culture, Songlines are like libraries—and they store knowledge.” They’re like some sort of ancient Wikipedia—only with more singing and less fact-checking. I’m not sure how this is ‘news,’ but trust our national broadcaster to treat a traditional oral history like it’s a breaking discovery from Silicon Valley.
The Indigenous website Deadly Story, which aims to help Aboriginal young people “connect to Country,” of course teaches them all about Songlines—providing realistic and highly practical scientific facts like: “Songlines act as a ‘Cultural Passport’,” and “Songlines contain information” such as which “types of food are safe to eat.”
Naturally, it also dives into grievance culture: “When the British invaded, the colonists [mercilessly] used Aboriginal Songlines for their horse-drawn vehicles,” and “One of the great tragedies of colonisation was the eradication and white-washing of the carefully curated use of Country by Aboriginal people. Songlines were diminished as mere ‘animal tracks’.”
I suppose the British should’ve just wandered aimlessly through the bush instead of using the most efficient routes available. Clearly, the greatest crime of the Empire wasn’t the mismanagement of a continent; it was the audacity to use an existing road.
And finally, the university’s video concludes that: “These Songlines eventually became roads and highways.” So there you go. That’s how Aboriginal people supposedly invented highways—or, if we want to be accurate, that’s how the colonising British Empire acquired existing footpaths and turned them into the dual-carriageway arterial roads that helped kick-start one of the world’s most successful modern economies.
MUSIC
Allégro by Emmit Fenn
Did you know that highways were actually invented by Australian Aboriginal people? It’s true! Well, kind of—at least according to some of our finest universities.
The University of Melbourne—consistently ranked among the finest in Australia and the world—publishes a steady stream of content on its YouTube page. You’ll find videos like:
• Celebrating the Hindu festival of Holi at UniMelb, which features the quote: “It’s purple. It’s mystery. Law is mystery.” I’ll tell you what’s a mystery: how someone actually gets a law degree saying things like that.
• Wominjeka 2026—essentially an Aboriginal Welcome to Country that is plastered on their buildings in both standard colours and, of course, the LGBT rainbow version.
• The Chinese Year of the Horse, with the quote: “It means moving forward and being brave.” At least that one makes sense. And…
• The Midsumma Pride March 2026, just to name a few.
As they say, “If it ain’t woke, don’t fix it.” Or is it: “If it ain’t woke, make sure it becomes woke and rub it in everyone’s faces—especially the students.”
But the one University of Melbourne video I’d like to look at today (and thank you to the viewer who sent this in) is titled: “Cultural and Indigenous Astronomy.”
They introduce the video by noting: “Cool things we’ve learnt from Indigenous astronomers.” They then pivot to what I hinted at earlier: “Our roads and cities come from star maps.” Yes, apparently our urban planning is actually an Aboriginal-inspired intergalactic grid. It definitely had nothing to do with surveyors, civil engineers, or, you know, British colonisation.
Back to the video: “Aboriginal people mapped out trade routes. These routes are called Songlines, which are encoded in song.” Yes, the roads you drive on actually double as a musical score, which is great news for anyone whose car radio is broken.
A quick Google search reveals that “Songlines, also known as Dreaming tracks or footprints of the ancestors, are intricate, oral-tradition paths spanning Australia that map the routes taken by Creator Beings during the Dreamtime.” Yes, when you drive along the M1, you’re not just stuck in gridlock; you’re following the pathways of the gods! Though, judging by the traffic at 5:00 PM, even the gods probably would’ve taken a backstreet.
But they’re not just roads. According to ABC News: “In Aboriginal culture, Songlines are like libraries—and they store knowledge.” They’re like some sort of ancient Wikipedia—only with more singing and less fact-checking. I’m not sure how this is ‘news,’ but trust our national broadcaster to treat a traditional oral history like it’s a breaking discovery from Silicon Valley.
The Indigenous website Deadly Story, which aims to help Aboriginal young people “connect to Country,” of course teaches them all about Songlines—providing realistic and highly practical scientific facts like: “Songlines act as a ‘Cultural Passport’,” and “Songlines contain information” such as which “types of food are safe to eat.”
Naturally, it also dives into grievance culture: “When the British invaded, the colonists [mercilessly] used Aboriginal Songlines for their horse-drawn vehicles,” and “One of the great tragedies of colonisation was the eradication and white-washing of the carefully curated use of Country by Aboriginal people. Songlines were diminished as mere ‘animal tracks’.”
I suppose the British should’ve just wandered aimlessly through the bush instead of using the most efficient routes available. Clearly, the greatest crime of the Empire wasn’t the mismanagement of a continent; it was the audacity to use an existing road.
And finally, the university’s video concludes that: “These Songlines eventually became roads and highways.” So there you go. That’s how Aboriginal people supposedly invented highways—or, if we want to be accurate, that’s how the colonising British Empire acquired existing footpaths and turned them into the dual-carriageway arterial roads that helped kick-start one of the world’s most successful modern economies.
MUSIC
Allégro by Emmit Fenn
