Uploaded February 2020 | Updated September 2026, 1 hour ago

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The first Topic record, TRC1, released in 1939.
Performed by Paddy Ryan of Unity Theatre


I am the man, the very fat man
That waters the workers' beer
I am the man, the very fat man
That waters the workers' beer
And what do I care if it makes them ill
If it makes them terribly queer
I've a car, a yacht, and an aeroplane,
And I waters the workers' beer.

Now when I waters the workers' beer
I puts in strychnine
Some methylated spirits
And a can of kerosene
Ah, but such a brew so terribly strong
It would make them terribly queer
So I reaches my hand for the watering-can
And I waters the workers' beer!

Now a drop of good beer is good for a man
When he's tired, thirsty and hot
And I sometimes have a drop myself
From a very special pot
For a strong and healthy working class
Is the thing that I most fear
So I reaches my hand for the watering-can
And I waters the workers' beer!

Now ladies fair, beyond compare
Be you maiden or wife
Spare a thought for such a man
Who leads such a lonely life
For the water rates are frightfully high,
And the meths is terribly dear
And there ain't the profit there used to be
In watering the workers' beer!