Uploaded June 2024 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Everyone has heard about the incredible benefits that come to mind, body, and spirit from having strong relationships. The quality of our social ties has a huge impact on our physical and mental health and our overall feeling of flourishing.
Yet many people still struggle to create these strong relationships in their lives, and often figure that things like weakening communities and digital technology are to blame.
But my guest says that the barriers to establishing bonds with others may actually be more psychological than physical, and he shares research-backed tips for breaking through them in his new book, The Laws of Connection: The Scientific Secrets of Building a Strong Social Network (amzn.to/3VdIiec) . Today on the show, David discusses how we can feel lonely even when we're surrounded by people if we don't have what he calls a "shared reality." We then discuss ways to build that shared reality with others. We talk about why frenemies are so bad for you, how to overcome the "liking gap," why you might want to interrupt someone to connect with them, the need to be aware of the novelty penalty in conversations, why you should stop telling white lies, and much more.
Resources Related to the Podcast
• David's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #803 — How Your Expectations Can Change Your Life (artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/expectation-effect-podcast/)
• AoM Article: Why Ambivalent Relationships Are Terrible for You (And How to Deal With Them) (artofmanliness.com/featured/ambivalent-relationships/)
• AoM Podcast #949: Envy — Unpacking The Emotion No One Likes to Talk About (artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/podcast-949-unpacking-the-emotion-no-one-likes-to-talk-about/)
Connect With David Robson
• David's website (davidrobson.me/)
• David on IG (instagram.com/davidarobson/?hl=en)
• David on X (https://x.com/d_a_robson)
• David on LinkedIn (linkedin.com/in/david-robson-5761791b/)
Everyone has heard about the incredible benefits that come to mind, body, and spirit from having strong relationships. The quality of our social ties has a huge impact on our physical and mental health and our overall feeling of flourishing.
Yet many people still struggle to create these strong relationships in their lives, and often figure that things like weakening communities and digital technology are to blame.
But my guest says that the barriers to establishing bonds with others may actually be more psychological than physical, and he shares research-backed tips for breaking through them in his new book, The Laws of Connection: The Scientific Secrets of Building a Strong Social Network (amzn.to/3VdIiec) . Today on the show, David discusses how we can feel lonely even when we're surrounded by people if we don't have what he calls a "shared reality." We then discuss ways to build that shared reality with others. We talk about why frenemies are so bad for you, how to overcome the "liking gap," why you might want to interrupt someone to connect with them, the need to be aware of the novelty penalty in conversations, why you should stop telling white lies, and much more.
Resources Related to the Podcast
• David's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #803 — How Your Expectations Can Change Your Life (artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/expectation-effect-podcast/)
• AoM Article: Why Ambivalent Relationships Are Terrible for You (And How to Deal With Them) (artofmanliness.com/featured/ambivalent-relationships/)
• AoM Podcast #949: Envy — Unpacking The Emotion No One Likes to Talk About (artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/podcast-949-unpacking-the-emotion-no-one-likes-to-talk-about/)
Connect With David Robson
• David's website (davidrobson.me/)
• David on IG (instagram.com/davidarobson/?hl=en)
• David on X (https://x.com/d_a_robson)
• David on LinkedIn (linkedin.com/in/david-robson-5761791b/)
