Uploaded September 2020 | Updated September 2026, 1 week ago

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Notes on the Run:
Throughout this run, you'll notice that the game keeps speeding up. This is because I used a trick called curse acceleration - basically, whenever you swear, the game will enter a state of shock and confusion, which tricks it into increasing gameplay speed by 5% every bad word. (Interestingly, the game does not seem to count "fornication", instead separating said word into a different category entirely, named "humorous_terms".)
Unfortunately, at 0:41, I messed up a button input, deactivating the glitch. It is difficult to re-trigger the glitch at this point, but I managed to pull it off at the skin of my teeth (haha thats what she said xd) at 0:51, thereby bringing the speed back to 215%.
At 0:54, there is a trigger to have to game slow down for a cinematic zoom-in on Lionel's beautiful face. There is no known way to bypass this, so we may as well just see it as the blessing that it is.
Oddly, while the word "willy" (spoken at 0:56) is counted in the game's files as a "curse_word", its "severity_level" does not exceed the level needed in order to confuse the game (its value is 2, whereas the required amount is 5 out of a possible 10), so the game regains its composure during this brief period.
On a final note, in case you can't tell at this point, this is a sh!tpost meme. However, what you probably didn't know was that it wasn't originally going to be a speedrunning one - I just added that idea at the last second. This means that you have been thoroughly tricked, backstabbed and very definitely bamboozled. You're welcome.
(Alternate title: "The King's Speech Swearing Scene but every bad word increases speed by 5%" - hmm... doesn't have the same ring to it somehow.)
(Video that I downloaded the clip from: youtu.be/sjXXwgABVgk )