Uploaded November 2025 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
This is the esteemed Bureau of Meteorology, Australia’s national weather agency. Well, they’re not so esteemed anymore.
Apparently, they spent millions of dollars of your taxpayer money to redesign their website that nobody likes. That doesn’t sound right—the Australian Government wasting money?
Last month, the ABC reported: “Bureau of Meteorology ordered to fix new website after torrent of complaints.” At that time, it was reported to have cost $4.1 million.
Hang on—that’s not right. Just a few days ago, the ABC reported: “BOM reveals new website cost $96.5m, not $4.1m as first announced.”
Don’t worry, that’s only a 2,250% increase over the original claim. Just a drop in the boiling oceans!
Wasters, liars, poor communicators, or just plain incompetent? I’ll let you decide.
But the main topic of this video (thank you to the multiple viewers who sent this in) is: Indigenous weather knowledge. Yes, this is actually on the $96.5 million website. I wonder how many millions were dedicated to this part?
They note: “Weather wisdom from the world’s oldest continuous culture. Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people hand down environmental and seasonal observations from generation to generation. This is valuable information that informs life on Country for many people. We’re honoured to host traditional seasonal calendars on our website.”
Unsurprisingly, they include a map with all the traditional tribal groups that apparently had seasonal calendars. An English translation of the place names probably would have helped. Oh well, they can do that next month. It’ll probably only cost $1 million.
But be warned! They note: “Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander readers are advised that these pages may contain images of and references to people who have died.” What sort of weather site is showing images of dead people?
The site shows a whole bunch of Indigenous seasonal calendars, such as the Jawoyn calendar—a group of people who inhabit the Katherine region in the Northern Territory. Apparently, they have five distinct seasons, as shown on this incredibly detailed visual representation.
They include information about an arsonist bird, the Black Kite, that hunts around fires and can carry burning sticks in their claws to light fires elsewhere. There’s undeniable scientific information such as the Frilled-neck Lizards that run from tree to tree during storms and “tease the lightning.” You know, teasing the lightning? They were the pre-technological version of the modern lightning rod. They also hunt Arafura File Snakes and kill them by biting their neck near the head, and roasting them in ground ovens. I know that’s what I do when I go hunting snakes, I use my teeth. How else would you hunt snakes?
The Tiwi calendar has many more seasons than you do—having three major seasons and 13 minor seasons, such as the Season of the “knock-em-downs” winds, the Season of the wind that flakes skin, the Season of the mangrove worm which they swear is sweet and filling, and the aptly named Season of hot feet. If only there was some way of protecting your feet from the hot ground.
Don’t worry, the taxpayer-funded meteorological fun isn’t over yet. The D’harawal people of New South Wales have a warm and wet Summer. The season begins with the Great Eel Spirit calling his children to him. Everyone in NSW knows about the Great Eel Spirit, right? In Winter, the male echidna forms lines of up to 10 as they follow the female through the woodlands in an effort to wear her down and mate with her. Gendered violence in nature? How can that be? So, forget barometric pressure and satellite imagery—just keep an eye out for a conga line of horny echidnas, and you’ll know exactly when to start your spiritual journey with the eels.
And just one more, because I’m learning so much and having so much fun here. The Maung people off the north coast of the Northern Territory, their calendar basically consists of a whole bunch of quotes, such as: “Only young girls and boys can eat goanna. If older girls eat it they get scratch marks.” Forget cholesterol levels; apparently, the goanna enforces its own age-restricted dining policy via curse. They also include some brutally honest food reviews, such as: Blue Salmon: ‘It has too many bones. You might choke on them. You gotta take the bones out.’ Good advice. And, Mangrove Jack: ‘It’s yuck, we don’t like it. Tastes like no taste.’ And they offer some life-saving advice: ‘Look out for crocodile so it doesn’t eat us, and also the spike on the top of the stingray. It really hurts if it stabs you.’
Look, don’t get me wrong, this is all very interesting. But is it the Bureau’s job to provide Aboriginal cultural commentary along with your five-day forecast? In my opinion, the only thing the BOM is accurately forecasting right now is taxpayer frustration.
MUSIC
Allégro by Emmit Fenn
This is the esteemed Bureau of Meteorology, Australia’s national weather agency. Well, they’re not so esteemed anymore.
Apparently, they spent millions of dollars of your taxpayer money to redesign their website that nobody likes. That doesn’t sound right—the Australian Government wasting money?
Last month, the ABC reported: “Bureau of Meteorology ordered to fix new website after torrent of complaints.” At that time, it was reported to have cost $4.1 million.
Hang on—that’s not right. Just a few days ago, the ABC reported: “BOM reveals new website cost $96.5m, not $4.1m as first announced.”
Don’t worry, that’s only a 2,250% increase over the original claim. Just a drop in the boiling oceans!
Wasters, liars, poor communicators, or just plain incompetent? I’ll let you decide.
But the main topic of this video (thank you to the multiple viewers who sent this in) is: Indigenous weather knowledge. Yes, this is actually on the $96.5 million website. I wonder how many millions were dedicated to this part?
They note: “Weather wisdom from the world’s oldest continuous culture. Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people hand down environmental and seasonal observations from generation to generation. This is valuable information that informs life on Country for many people. We’re honoured to host traditional seasonal calendars on our website.”
Unsurprisingly, they include a map with all the traditional tribal groups that apparently had seasonal calendars. An English translation of the place names probably would have helped. Oh well, they can do that next month. It’ll probably only cost $1 million.
But be warned! They note: “Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander readers are advised that these pages may contain images of and references to people who have died.” What sort of weather site is showing images of dead people?
The site shows a whole bunch of Indigenous seasonal calendars, such as the Jawoyn calendar—a group of people who inhabit the Katherine region in the Northern Territory. Apparently, they have five distinct seasons, as shown on this incredibly detailed visual representation.
They include information about an arsonist bird, the Black Kite, that hunts around fires and can carry burning sticks in their claws to light fires elsewhere. There’s undeniable scientific information such as the Frilled-neck Lizards that run from tree to tree during storms and “tease the lightning.” You know, teasing the lightning? They were the pre-technological version of the modern lightning rod. They also hunt Arafura File Snakes and kill them by biting their neck near the head, and roasting them in ground ovens. I know that’s what I do when I go hunting snakes, I use my teeth. How else would you hunt snakes?
The Tiwi calendar has many more seasons than you do—having three major seasons and 13 minor seasons, such as the Season of the “knock-em-downs” winds, the Season of the wind that flakes skin, the Season of the mangrove worm which they swear is sweet and filling, and the aptly named Season of hot feet. If only there was some way of protecting your feet from the hot ground.
Don’t worry, the taxpayer-funded meteorological fun isn’t over yet. The D’harawal people of New South Wales have a warm and wet Summer. The season begins with the Great Eel Spirit calling his children to him. Everyone in NSW knows about the Great Eel Spirit, right? In Winter, the male echidna forms lines of up to 10 as they follow the female through the woodlands in an effort to wear her down and mate with her. Gendered violence in nature? How can that be? So, forget barometric pressure and satellite imagery—just keep an eye out for a conga line of horny echidnas, and you’ll know exactly when to start your spiritual journey with the eels.
And just one more, because I’m learning so much and having so much fun here. The Maung people off the north coast of the Northern Territory, their calendar basically consists of a whole bunch of quotes, such as: “Only young girls and boys can eat goanna. If older girls eat it they get scratch marks.” Forget cholesterol levels; apparently, the goanna enforces its own age-restricted dining policy via curse. They also include some brutally honest food reviews, such as: Blue Salmon: ‘It has too many bones. You might choke on them. You gotta take the bones out.’ Good advice. And, Mangrove Jack: ‘It’s yuck, we don’t like it. Tastes like no taste.’ And they offer some life-saving advice: ‘Look out for crocodile so it doesn’t eat us, and also the spike on the top of the stingray. It really hurts if it stabs you.’
Look, don’t get me wrong, this is all very interesting. But is it the Bureau’s job to provide Aboriginal cultural commentary along with your five-day forecast? In my opinion, the only thing the BOM is accurately forecasting right now is taxpayer frustration.
MUSIC
Allégro by Emmit Fenn
