Uploaded June 2026 | Updated September 2026, 1 week ago
I'm talking sick-to-my-stomach, paralyzing stage fright, self-doubt spirals for days kind of pressure.
I remember early on in my classical music studies, it always felt like live performances were something expressly FOR the audience. They felt one-directional, & as a result, I always felt worried about whether or not I was playing in a way the audience would be happy with.
I found it really hard to snap out of "how am I doing" mode in order to focus on the music, & this meant that I rarely performed at my best…
Something really big shifted for me when I started to improvise more & work with electronics—specifically integrating chaotic circuits & feedback with my trumpet.
When you work with feedback, you can’t be in total control.
You realize pretty quickly that rather than a typical performer-instrument relationship, the act of making music with feedback is more like a co-creative sonic ecosystem.
It was so liberating & inspiring. Instead of focusing on whether I was “doing it right,” I found myself immersed in the music—taking more risks & playing better than I ever had before.
This got me thinking about live performance in general…
Could ALL of it be co-creative?
Instead of a performance being something I did FOR others, I decided to view it as a shared listening experience.
The music is something we all get to discover & explore together, in real time...
Almost instantly, everything became more playful, curious, & adventurous.
Sometimes things go as I planned, other times they go in a completely unexpected direction. And—if I’m lucky, I’ll get to discover an entirely NEW sound in the middle of a performance…surrounded by a room full of people who are listening deeply with ears wide open. ❤️
Video is from a soundcheck at @akousma in Montreal a while back—fond memories of a fun performance!!
#modularsynth #experimentalmusic #electroacoustic #electronicmusic #eurorack #trumpet #synthesis #sounddesign #musictechnology
I'm talking sick-to-my-stomach, paralyzing stage fright, self-doubt spirals for days kind of pressure.
I remember early on in my classical music studies, it always felt like live performances were something expressly FOR the audience. They felt one-directional, & as a result, I always felt worried about whether or not I was playing in a way the audience would be happy with.
I found it really hard to snap out of "how am I doing" mode in order to focus on the music, & this meant that I rarely performed at my best…
Something really big shifted for me when I started to improvise more & work with electronics—specifically integrating chaotic circuits & feedback with my trumpet.
When you work with feedback, you can’t be in total control.
You realize pretty quickly that rather than a typical performer-instrument relationship, the act of making music with feedback is more like a co-creative sonic ecosystem.
It was so liberating & inspiring. Instead of focusing on whether I was “doing it right,” I found myself immersed in the music—taking more risks & playing better than I ever had before.
This got me thinking about live performance in general…
Could ALL of it be co-creative?
Instead of a performance being something I did FOR others, I decided to view it as a shared listening experience.
The music is something we all get to discover & explore together, in real time...
Almost instantly, everything became more playful, curious, & adventurous.
Sometimes things go as I planned, other times they go in a completely unexpected direction. And—if I’m lucky, I’ll get to discover an entirely NEW sound in the middle of a performance…surrounded by a room full of people who are listening deeply with ears wide open. ❤️
Video is from a soundcheck at @akousma in Montreal a while back—fond memories of a fun performance!!
#modularsynth #experimentalmusic #electroacoustic #electronicmusic #eurorack #trumpet #synthesis #sounddesign #musictechnology
