Uploaded April 2026 | Updated September 2026, 1 week ago
Individuation is where your life starts to come back to you.
It’s the shift from abandoning yourself to stay connected to staying connected to yourself, even when others don’t like it.
It looks like saying no—and letting people have their feelings about it. It looks like no longer taking responsibility for managing everyone else’s emotions. It looks like choosing what is actually good and true for you, even when it’s uncomfortable.
And at first, that can feel wrong. Especially if you’ve been taught that being “good” means being agreeable, selfless, and always available.
But real connection doesn’t come from self-abandonment. It comes from honesty.
When you stop betraying yourself to keep the peace, you make space for relationships that are actually real.
And that’s not selfish. That’s healthy.
Want to watch the rest of this episode of the Divorced Christian Woman podcast? Head over to youtu.be/ltipnwB7gZc
Individuation is where your life starts to come back to you.
It’s the shift from abandoning yourself to stay connected to staying connected to yourself, even when others don’t like it.
It looks like saying no—and letting people have their feelings about it. It looks like no longer taking responsibility for managing everyone else’s emotions. It looks like choosing what is actually good and true for you, even when it’s uncomfortable.
And at first, that can feel wrong. Especially if you’ve been taught that being “good” means being agreeable, selfless, and always available.
But real connection doesn’t come from self-abandonment. It comes from honesty.
When you stop betraying yourself to keep the peace, you make space for relationships that are actually real.
And that’s not selfish. That’s healthy.
Want to watch the rest of this episode of the Divorced Christian Woman podcast? Head over to youtu.be/ltipnwB7gZc
![Responding to Abusive Word Salad (the master game player strategy) [351]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/U27AQg6biuo/mqdefault.jpg "Responding to Abusive Word Salad (the master game player strategy) [351]
💬 Is your abuser still sending rage-fueled text essays, and you can’t block him because of court orders?
In this episode, I teach you how to turn every toxic text into an opportunity to protect your sanity, build a solid paper trail, and take your power back one boring, badass message at a time. 💪
🧠 You’ll learn:
- How to respond without reacting (AKA how to not feed the troll)
- Why radical acceptance is your golden ticket to freedom
- How to create a perfect record for court without breaking a sweat
- The master game player strategy that changes EVERYTHING
- The mindset shift that makes reading abusive texts less triggering (yes, really)
🦋 Subscribe, like, and hit the bell so you don’t miss the next episode. Your freedom journey just got a wing upgrade.
Related Resources:
🧐 Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse. Get a free chapter when you sign up for my mailing list at the top of my website: https://flyingfreenow.com
👹 My book, All the Scary Little Gods (https://www.flyingfreenow.com/all-the-scary-little-gods/), is a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming.
🦋 The Kaleidoscope (https://joinflyingfree.com) is our ridiculously affordable online community educating and supporting Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages. Whether you want to stay in your marriage or leave, we can equip you for the next part of your journey through this program.
🚀 Flying Higher (https://joinflyinghigher.com) is my private mentorship program for Christian women who want to go deeper and work with me in a smaller group.
🗣️ Check out Aimee Says (https://www.aimeesays.com/) for help wading through the word salad your ex is throwing at you.
🎙️ Check out related Flying Free Podcast episodes: “Winning Child Custody & Divorce Battles” (https://www.flyingfreenow.com/329-2/) and “How to Respond to Emotional Abuse Tactics” (https://www.flyingfreenow.com/64-2/).
📒 Read the full show notes at https://www.flyingfreenow.com/351
#EmotionalAbuseRecovery #FlyingFreePodcast #ChristianWomenHealing #AbusiveEx #CoParentingWithANarcissist #DivorceRecovery #RespondingToAbuse #NatalieHoffman #ReligiousTrauma #HighConflictDivorce #WordSalad #NarcissistEx")
![Understanding Coercive Control and the Harms Inflicted on to Adult and Child Victims [350]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/UlW9i3lvkSM/mqdefault.jpg "Understanding Coercive Control and the Harms Inflicted on to Adult and Child Victims [350]
“He doesn’t hit me…so it must not be abuse.” Oh girl. Sit down and grab some snacks, because this episode is about to BURN THAT LIE TO THE GROUND. 🔥
I’m joined by the incredible Dr. Christine Cocchiola, a nationally recognized expert on coercive control…aka the abuse that doesn’t leave visible bruises, but shatters your soul (and sometimes steals your kids in court).
In this episode, we’re talking about:
✅ What coercive control actually is
✅ How abusers use the legal system, religion, and even therapists to maintain control
✅ Why “he’s such a good dad” is one of the most dangerous lies we believe
✅ How coercive control affects children, even when they “seem fine”
✅ Why your ANGER is your superpower, not your shame
✅ What protective parents can do (and stop doing) to help their kids heal
✅ How to spot the covert, manipulative tactics of high-functioning abusers
✅ Why healing starts with you, not a therapist, not a court, not a co-parenting class
This is one of the most POWERFUL interviews I’ve ever hosted. If you’ve ever felt dismissed, gaslit, or enraged by what’s happening to you and your kids, you’re not alone, you’re not crazy, and yes, you’re allowed to be furious.
🧠 This episode will validate what you’ve always known in your gut.
🔔 Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and hit the bell so you never miss a new video.
Related Resources:
📚Check out Dr. Christine Cocchiola’s website (http://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com) for more of her resources.
🧐 Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse. Get a free chapter when you sign up for my mailing list at the top of my website: https://flyingfreenow.com
👹 My book, All the Scary Little Gods (https://www.flyingfreenow.com/all-the-scary-little-gods/), is a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming.
🦋 The Kaleidoscope (https://joinflyingfree.com) is our ridiculously affordable online community educating and supporting Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages. Whether you want to stay in your marriage or leave, we can equip you for the next part of your journey through this program.
🚀 Flying Higher (https://joinflyinghigher.com) is my private mentorship program for Christian women who want to go deeper and work with me in a smaller group.
📒 Read the full show notes at https://www.flyingfreenow.com/350
Christine M. Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is an expert on the experiences of adult and child victims of coercive control. A college professor teaching social work, she received her doctorate in clinical social work from New York University working under the tutelage of Dr. Evan Stark. She presents nationally and internationally on the concept of coercive control with a focus on educating professionals, advocates, and protective parents, on the experiences of children and best intervention strategies for adult and child victims of coercive control/narcissistic abuse. Her Clinician Certification Training is ASWB approved for 14 CE’s. Dr. C is the creator of The Protective Parenting Program, a therapeutic evidence based attachment focused program for parents of children harmed by abusers and the co-author of FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld.
#CoerciveControl #EmotionalAbuse #FlyingFreePodcast #DomesticAbuseAwareness #NarcissisticAbuse #ReligiousAbuse #AbuseRecovery #TraumaInformed #ProtectiveParenting #ChristianWomenHealing #GaslightingRecovery #HealingFromAbuse #ChristianDivorce #FaithAndFeminism #BoundariesAreBiblical #ChurchHurt #LeavingAbuse #RageIsHoly #FreedomAfterAbuse #SpiritualAbuseRecovery #AbuseSurvivorStory #ToxicMarriage #CourtroomCoercion #WomenHelpingWomen #ChristianPodcast #ChristianWomensSupport #StopSpiritualAbuse #TraumaHealingJourney #EmpoweredWomenRise #BreakingFreeFromAbuse")
