Uploaded March 2016 | Updated September 2026, 1 hour ago

---

MP3 DL: tinyurl.com/carriedok

The context of this was around the release of OW. At the time, Prem & Invite players were abandoning TF2 in favour of the competing game. The whole album parodies the panic during the first wave up, the intro (this track) setting the over-dramatic despair of it all. The title is not a dig at Blizzard though. We'll go ahead and say that if you're used to getting pennies from a hat simulator, then really nice butts and particles might be more promising.

LYRICS:

Where have all of Invite gone and
Where are all our teams?
From ESEA, Premier and
Platinum UGC?
Isn't there an update
Coming out on time?
This could be it, boys
This could be End of the Line

- - -

ORIGINAL SONG:
Holding Out For A Hero - Jennifer Saunders

"How Do I eSports?" is the dumbest concept album about two TF2 players facing a grave dilemma of utmost seriousness: OW is out, but despite matchmaking, this obviously means TF2’s dead as shit. To fight against this dramatic threat, a plan was devised to revive the hat simulator and its original purpose. The plan? Make more TF2 parody pop cover songs - because more garbage parody covers of popular songs for video games is what indicates a game is eSports. (Yeah, it’s exactly as big of a mistake as it sounds.)

Check out these tracks:

Overwatch Killed the TF2 Pro: youtu.be/hWj1hCmXays
I Hate This Spy Main: youtu.be/DM0C11ucNGA