Uploaded November 2021 | Updated September 2026, 4 days ago

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Now is the time for us to remain light of heart. Time to lift our spirits, to raise a smile (or even a Dad-joke groan.)

If You Want to be a Sailor

if you want to be a sailor, buy a boat and go to sea
don’t stand in a bowl of custard with your trousers to your knee
that dead parrot on your shoulder does not impress me
if you want to be a sailor, buy a boat and go to sea

if you want to be a pilot, find a plane and fly away
don’t stand on the garage roof and flap your arms about all day
you’ll never cross the Tasman try as you may
if you want to be a pilot, find a plane and fly away

if you want to be a sky-diver, buy a ‘chute and find a plane
that free-fall from the sofa we all thought quite inane
when you jumped out of the Toyota, you landed in the drain
if you want to be a sky-diver, buy a ‘chute and find a plane.

(c) RKelly 1990s

Cryptic Limerick

they said
do a funny one
no pathos
no irony
no tragedy
no nuance
may be cryptic
maybe a limerick
like
‘there was a young lady from Mars
who once tried to reach for the stars
after all
she would boast
I’m closer than most
and it’s better than hanging out
in Bars.’
ah well
it’s not perfection
but why should confection
-ery
own all the best
rhymes.

(c) RKelly 2020