Uploaded June 2025 | Updated September 2026, 1 week ago
Dear me. What HAVE I done?
twitter.com/yuugijoou
discord.gg/bKT9pRW
---
I might be out of town for a week, but that doesn't mean I can't do unspeakable things to YouTube.
Also, hello, YouTube!
It's not a stream on another platform. It's not a saucy puppet show. It's not even a chip off the fathomless backlog of video content that's just... sitting around here... waiting for me to actually get off my duff and get describing.
This is. Well. This was something. Truly... ... ... evil.
---
So, these games. This one specifically. Has... a bit of a reputation. Not quite enough time in the overn, I suppose. Even less time after the first, because it's got to be one of the most-ported games in the entire franchise.
This, specifically, is the Switch port. Oh no. No. Why. Why would I have done this?!
Because it's the only version with native gyro aim!
It also is one of the intriguing fringe cases of the game running at 60fps. If you run it on a Switch 2.
But therein lies the insidious trap. This game and its immediate forebear were... not designed to run that fluidly. Well, it was designed to TRY.
As cruel fate would have it, porting it over to more robust hardware would inflict... certain... interesting misbehaviors.
In Resident Evil 5, the tick rate of a certain boss's gimmicky damage checks would actually render it INVULNERABLE to measures designed to quickly eradicate it. Oops!
In this game. Well, if you're not the host player, you're gonna have a bad, erratic time. But ONLY if the game logic can tick away at unfettered 60fps. M-Maybe. No guarantees. In both these cases, one of the recommended remedies is... just run it at a slower refresh rate. Deliberately. (You can't adjust this on the fly mid-execution. At least not by measrues afforded the players.)
Alternatively, you can "just" do it solo, get to the next checkpoint. THEN rejoin your partner.
Neither of them is ideal.
You know what's also not ideal? Tank treads to the back. For Jake, anyway. Unconfirmed if Sherry could just walk it off. Maybe. We'll see. All that lifelong trauma's gotta pay off somehow?!
---
I'm not TOTALLY sure, but... maybe Jake deserved it? He's certainly not handling things well.
P2's handling it much more responsibly and reasonably, I think.
I'm just equal parts amused and bemused that they REALLY got their mileage out of that take from Troy, because that exact same utterance comes up... in... somewhat less pressing occasions.
---
Anyway, we'd actually PLAYED thsi before. On weaker hardware. Especially if it was done in split-screen. But either on the Xbox 360 OR just doing this same exact thing on the previous Switch? Probably wouldn't be having this conversation right now.
And this being a CONSOLE port, you don't generally GET the kinds of options you'd need to make it work out the way you need. Heck, it could actually be even WORSE for P2, because the game logic is playing at 60fps, but Jake's on a Switch 1, which means he could be crushed an entire frame or more EARLIER than his game will even permit him to react.
But it's clearly not ALL dead set against him. Somehow. It doesn't ALWAYS happen exactly this way. For. reasons.
My best guess would be that the instant death crush zone is actually dead center, ironically where the tank treads aren't... but let's not let little details like that get in the way of directorial intent! The fact is they did NOT script the tank to crush him anywhere BUT the middle, rather than the treads. Which will give him just enough time and distance to get out of immediate peril before he gets the chance to protest.
I've also heard that PERHAPS another weird peculiarity to this sequence is that if you manage to exhaust all your stamina before the chase even starts, the tank will be surprisingly "considerate" and match your reduced pace.
---
Poor Sherry. She just wants to get out of here. Go home. Take a nice long nap.
---
ANYWAY... um... WHY have I done this? This intense travesty and miscarriage of undercarriage? This isn't even part of a current playthrough in limbo! It's not a stream archive I'm selfishly withholding from non-Jeff-fearing video viewers!
I'm actually... describing video?! Who am I and what have I done with present-me, only to foist past-me upon you all?! Where's my saucy puppet show?! This is incredibly... gameplay-first?!
Too bad it's not the gameplay you were looking for. Score one for the monkey paw!
(It DOES indicate that there's more than meets the eye going on here... oh. oh no. no. please! don't! The poor innocent subscribers don't deserve it!)
Dear me. What HAVE I done?
twitter.com/yuugijoou
discord.gg/bKT9pRW
---
I might be out of town for a week, but that doesn't mean I can't do unspeakable things to YouTube.
Also, hello, YouTube!
It's not a stream on another platform. It's not a saucy puppet show. It's not even a chip off the fathomless backlog of video content that's just... sitting around here... waiting for me to actually get off my duff and get describing.
This is. Well. This was something. Truly... ... ... evil.
---
So, these games. This one specifically. Has... a bit of a reputation. Not quite enough time in the overn, I suppose. Even less time after the first, because it's got to be one of the most-ported games in the entire franchise.
This, specifically, is the Switch port. Oh no. No. Why. Why would I have done this?!
Because it's the only version with native gyro aim!
It also is one of the intriguing fringe cases of the game running at 60fps. If you run it on a Switch 2.
But therein lies the insidious trap. This game and its immediate forebear were... not designed to run that fluidly. Well, it was designed to TRY.
As cruel fate would have it, porting it over to more robust hardware would inflict... certain... interesting misbehaviors.
In Resident Evil 5, the tick rate of a certain boss's gimmicky damage checks would actually render it INVULNERABLE to measures designed to quickly eradicate it. Oops!
In this game. Well, if you're not the host player, you're gonna have a bad, erratic time. But ONLY if the game logic can tick away at unfettered 60fps. M-Maybe. No guarantees. In both these cases, one of the recommended remedies is... just run it at a slower refresh rate. Deliberately. (You can't adjust this on the fly mid-execution. At least not by measrues afforded the players.)
Alternatively, you can "just" do it solo, get to the next checkpoint. THEN rejoin your partner.
Neither of them is ideal.
You know what's also not ideal? Tank treads to the back. For Jake, anyway. Unconfirmed if Sherry could just walk it off. Maybe. We'll see. All that lifelong trauma's gotta pay off somehow?!
---
I'm not TOTALLY sure, but... maybe Jake deserved it? He's certainly not handling things well.
P2's handling it much more responsibly and reasonably, I think.
I'm just equal parts amused and bemused that they REALLY got their mileage out of that take from Troy, because that exact same utterance comes up... in... somewhat less pressing occasions.
---
Anyway, we'd actually PLAYED thsi before. On weaker hardware. Especially if it was done in split-screen. But either on the Xbox 360 OR just doing this same exact thing on the previous Switch? Probably wouldn't be having this conversation right now.
And this being a CONSOLE port, you don't generally GET the kinds of options you'd need to make it work out the way you need. Heck, it could actually be even WORSE for P2, because the game logic is playing at 60fps, but Jake's on a Switch 1, which means he could be crushed an entire frame or more EARLIER than his game will even permit him to react.
But it's clearly not ALL dead set against him. Somehow. It doesn't ALWAYS happen exactly this way. For. reasons.
My best guess would be that the instant death crush zone is actually dead center, ironically where the tank treads aren't... but let's not let little details like that get in the way of directorial intent! The fact is they did NOT script the tank to crush him anywhere BUT the middle, rather than the treads. Which will give him just enough time and distance to get out of immediate peril before he gets the chance to protest.
I've also heard that PERHAPS another weird peculiarity to this sequence is that if you manage to exhaust all your stamina before the chase even starts, the tank will be surprisingly "considerate" and match your reduced pace.
---
Poor Sherry. She just wants to get out of here. Go home. Take a nice long nap.
---
ANYWAY... um... WHY have I done this? This intense travesty and miscarriage of undercarriage? This isn't even part of a current playthrough in limbo! It's not a stream archive I'm selfishly withholding from non-Jeff-fearing video viewers!
I'm actually... describing video?! Who am I and what have I done with present-me, only to foist past-me upon you all?! Where's my saucy puppet show?! This is incredibly... gameplay-first?!
Too bad it's not the gameplay you were looking for. Score one for the monkey paw!
(It DOES indicate that there's more than meets the eye going on here... oh. oh no. no. please! don't! The poor innocent subscribers don't deserve it!)
![[Gameplay Only] Mina the Hollower 1. A Link to the Gothic](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/kZ1EgyHbeok/mqdefault.jpg "[Gameplay Only] Mina the Hollower 1. A Link to the Gothic
The sequel to Hollow Knight is actually Hollow-er Knight?
If you crave a smaller game display area and a more distracting player presence, you can find me over here instead:
https://youtube.com/live/nAPTHxZEmmg
(the whole streaming thing made me weigh the options and youll have to settle for a mere SIX TIMES native resolution if you want that kind of extra distraction, though. ;3)
Originally ALSO streamed at:
https://twitch.tv/yuugijoou/
Stay up to date on what nonsense Im doing:
https://twitter.com/yuugijoou
https://discord.gg/bKT9pRW
...or, yknow, just harass me if Im doing something you dont like, whatever.")
![[Gameplay Only] Splatoon Raiders 1. Lets Get Salty](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/lDjoiJOW13Q/mqdefault.jpg "[Gameplay Only] Splatoon Raiders 1. Lets Get Salty
Y-yknow... the spirahlite and whatnot... r-right?!
If you NEED the saucy puppet show chatter, theres that version as well:
https://youtube.com/live/rxsznc4IZO0
(can you live with the gameplay resolution being lower to accommodate, though?!)
Originally ALSO streamed at:
https://twitch.tv/yuugijoou/
Stay up to date on what nonsense Im doing:
https://twitter.com/yuugijoou
https://discord.gg/bKT9pRW
...or, yknow, just harass me if Im doing something you dont like, whatever.")
![[Super Game Boy, No Border] Donkey Kong #4. Nature Walk](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/lmMPOu6SrHU/mqdefault.jpg "[Super Game Boy, No Border] Donkey Kong #4. Nature Walk
Going on an ape hunt! Gonna find a big one!
twitter.com/yuugijoou
discord.gg/bKT9pRW
Also, whats the deal with playing a Super Game Boy game WITHOUT the parts that ostensibly make it Super and not just Game Boy?
To see this in all its bordered glory:
https://youtu.be/VtVWbN7bs9Y
I promise Ill be DONE talking about the Super Game Boy enhancements specific to this game and this hardware configuration soon enough... but I played it this way SO much that I flat out did not even KNOW for the longest time that the vocalized cries for HELP! at the start of nearly every stage were one such feature.
I mean, in hindsight, yeah, no, that makes sense... it definitely doesnt fit within the tech specs of a Game Boy game. But part of the magic and whimsy of having discovered the bizarre treasure that was the Super Game Boy and its capacity to confer bespoke diffentials from the original capabilities of a games base content... is the part that I hadnt even discovered just how well it was doing its job without my knowing it!
Listen. Kids are stupid. And observation skills and critical thinking come later. Sorry, kids. Youll grow out of it! Into... it? Something! You got this!
At least the lush, but INSANE (and not programmatically scalable with tech of the time) colorization was really eye-catching, so I didnt miss that. Until I was trying to figure out why a Game Boy Color apparently COULDNT manage to figure out how to do the same thing.
A wizard did it. At R&D2. Yep.
In this pre-World demo, we get introduced to... switches!
No! Wait! I swear! Its good! Its not oh, thats totally obvious!
Umm... ... ... Donkey Kong uses switches of a totally unnecessarily different design than the ones Mario uses?
(Its actually quite rare that Mario can even REACH a switch that DK might be using, and not just because theres some big palooka in the way, but this is more of an observation of the visual language of Donkey Kong 1994 than anything actually useful.)
In case it was unclear up to now, theres... like... a LOT of extra lives to be had in this game. Bonus stages. Time bonuses! Every four stages, the combined remaining timer values for stage clears all get added together, and you get a 1up for every 100 counts left over! Even the excess extras after that is an extra life!
Collecting all of Paulines dropped accessories (hats and handbags are one thing, but how many parasols does she ACTUALLY need?!) also gets you a free play of either a slot machine or a wheel of extra lives. Sure, its usually one life per visit, and Im REALLY bad at slot machines, but it all adds up! Mario is basically immortal! ... ... ...he better be, with how easy it is to utterly destroy his flimsy body.
Forest, 2-1
You may also quickly notice... this game has an absolutely absurd variety of enemies. Sure, most of them end up funcitonally identical in many ways and are just a snazzy coat of paint, like... two sprites at most each time. Its a small detail, but also simultaneously an abundant one, serving to make the overall flavor of an otherwise gentle curve of simple gameplay very gradually ramping up can always feel fresh.
Forest, 2-2
See? You didnt know all there was to know about switches from just that one little demo segment! They dont just control platforms in a slightly different fashion from those ladder and bridge pickups! They can control the movement of elevator platforms! They can even have more than two states!
Forest, 2-3
Two helpful notes here that dont really get shown off... you can actually safely crouch under the plants projectiles, but only when youre not holding something in your hands.
The other thing is that because the ladder pickup is so close to where Mario starts and the path to the door only shutters off once gameplay begins... you can actually block that shutter with the temporary ladder occupying that space, even after the ladder disappears.
These kinds of quirks in object interactions are critical to later stages in the game, but its more of a quirky footnote in this one.
Forest, 2-4
In a DK stage thats NOT the capstone of the whole themed world, youll tend to just need to reach Donkey Kong to scare him into running away, much like the three stages leading up to 100m in the original arcade progression.
In this case, its a recreation of the original stage layout for Donkey Kong Jr.!
... ... ...so... a reverse-reversal!")
![[Gameplay Only] Star Fox Command The OTHER One with Panther](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/mYU-1GjOYIc/mqdefault.jpg "[Gameplay Only] Star Fox Command The OTHER One with Panther
Important distinction, yes.
Disappointingly... I only got two and a half endings. Somehow. I didnt remember that you can take alternate routes to end up at the same place.
Visual novels can be frustrating in this way sometimes. ;3
Visual novel turn-based strategy all range mode simulator!
... ... ...but not always a properly Star Fox feeling game.
I can see why a lot of people dont prefer it. But it has some really neat ideas, and I vastly prefer the multiple player characters and semi-real-time map interactions over the chicken walker transformation, if pressed to choose. (Sorry, Platinum!)
FAIR WARNING... the video capture broke at almost the end of the stream. Like, during the credits. Just scant minutes from completion. Credits that already showed last time. After an ending I already earned. (really making a strong case for watching here, huh?)
Ultimately just a footnote, but seemed only right to acknowledge anyway.
If you absolutely NEED a virtual busybody -yammering over the melodrama and middling flight capabilities, boy are you covered:
https://youtube.com/live/NASUZSg9jco
Originally ALSO streamed at:
https://twitch.tv/yuugijoou/
Stay up to date on what nonsense Im doing:
https://twitter.com/yuugijoou
https://discord.gg/bKT9pRW
...or, yknow, just harass me if Im doing something you dont like, whatever.")
![[VTuber] Mina the Hollower 3. Loot and Plunder](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/mq_rdp-A4zM/mqdefault.jpg "[VTuber] Mina the Hollower 3. Loot and Plunder
Youll pay for this, Captain Planet!
If the busybody puppet theater is too much, you can always ask her to go away::
https://youtu.be/PaeyLaR1yCs
(and in MASSIVE 10x gameplay resolution! ;3)
Originally ALSO streamed at:
https://twitch.tv/yuugijoou/
Stay up to date on what nonsense Im doing:
https://twitter.com/yuugijoou
https://discord.gg/bKT9pRW
...or, yknow, just harass me if Im doing something you dont like, whatever.")
![[VTuber] Mina the Hollower 1. A Link to the Gothic](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/nAPTHxZEmmg/mqdefault.jpg "[VTuber] Mina the Hollower 1. A Link to the Gothic
The sequel to Hollow Knight is actually Hollow-er Knight?
If the not-mouse-girls getting in the way and you want her gone, try here:
https://youtu.be/kZ1EgyHbeok
ALSO, because streaming in 1440p might be a bit excessive... but capturing and uploading it isnt, you can see it in glorious TEN TIMES native resolution if you ditch the bunny. ;3
Originally ALSO streamed at:
https://twitch.tv/yuugijoou/
Stay up to date on what nonsense Im doing:
https://twitter.com/yuugijoou
https://discord.gg/bKT9pRW
...or, yknow, just harass me if Im doing something you dont like, whatever.")
![[VTuber] Xenoblade Chronicles: Definitive Edition 9. Tomb Raiding Party](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/oK_rC92AOOc/mqdefault.jpg "[VTuber] Xenoblade Chronicles: Definitive Edition 9. Tomb Raiding Party
Or is it like... a reverse raid? An un-raiding party? Actually, I dont think this is anyones idea of a good time...
If you need LESS chatter, theres that version as well:
https://youtu.be/9T cza9TvQ
Originally ALSO streamed at:
https://twitch.tv/yuugijoou/
Stay up to date on what nonsense Im doing:
https://twitter.com/yuugijoou
https://discord.gg/bKT9pRW
...or, yknow, just harass me if Im doing something you dont like, whatever.")
