Probed Uranus (For Peace?) @Zhuravliov

Uploaded November 2025 | Updated September 2026, 3 weeks ago

Lyrics: Zhuravliov
Vocals by: @Texas_Redneck
Music & Mastering by: Max Kranich

Yes, all this just for another Uranus joke.

Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
I was cruisin’ down the desert in my Cadillac,
Nevada moonlight shining off my tin foil hat.
When a saucer came a-swoopin’ from the twilight zone,
And a voice said, “Human, you’re not alone…”

[Chorus]
They probed Uranus… (do-wop, do-wop)
For galactic peace… (boop-bop-beep!)
With a laser beam of love
And a touch that won’t cease!
Yeah they came in peace…
But they left a mark!
Now I glow in the dark!
And I tingle… when I park.

[Verse 2]
“This just in: unidentified flying objects spotted over Area 51.”
”Witnesses report glowing orbs, rhythmic humming, and a suspicious interest in rear-end anatomy.”
”Citizens are advised: do not bend over near cornfields.”

[Verse 3]
They had eyes like jell-o, skin like lime,
Voices all in autotune, singin’ “Now’s the time!”
They said, “Earthman, take us to your seediest bars,
We flew thirty light years just to party with Mars!”

[Chorus 2]
They probed Uranus… (shoo-bop!)
With a gentle zap… (pew pew!)
Wore chrome jumpsuits
And a bumper with a flap!
Oh they came for love…
Not for war or hate,
But they still used tools
That vibrate.

[Bridge]
“They said they came in peace…”
”But they left with samples.”
”They scanned my dreams, my jeans…”
”And a very private constellation.”
“…Mama warned me ‘bout the green ones.”

[Verse 4]
Now I’m flyin’ in a saucer, got a new career,
Teaching little green kids how to drive and steer!
I got a raygun diploma and a cosmic tan,
And I’m dating a clone named Stan!

[Final Chorus]
They probed Uranus… (doo-wah!)
For a better day…
Now I’m moonwalkin’ backwards
Down the Milky Way!
Yeah, they found my soul,
In a place so tight…
And they beeped it once,
Then said, “Alright.”

[Outro]
“Remember, kids:”
”Keep your helmets shiny,”
”Your minds open,”
”And Uranus… protected.”
“Goodnight from Station Zeta-9… where the truth isn’t just out there — it’s in your pants.”

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$Divide et Impera 2 51. The Ring and the Empire Original Lyrics by: @MonCaos English Lyrics by: Zhuravliov Music and Vocals by: SUNO.ai Lyrics: [Narration - Spoken] In days when the scholars gazed high with despair, And wolves filled the hares with a trembling fear, When Paul’s distant forebears first rose to command, On a faraway world, through the vast, untamed strands... The cosmos was shattered, its unity torn, No Alliance yet born, no great oath was sworn. A fracture to echo through eons unspun, The twilight of worlds, and the chaos begun. [Verse] In days when the starlight still shimmered afar, Untouched by the reach of our ships or our war, Just whispers of dreams and the sweetness of lore Had promised the heights we were longing for. In those ancient years, even gods might forget, Who wove strands of fate in their cosmic duet, Existence was split between darkness and grace, Two forces entwined in their timeless embrace. From the songs of a slumbering All-Fathers breath, A vision appeared to outshine even death— The Ring of the Good, for the pure and the brave, Its power could guide, its mercy could save. But men with their hearts shackled tight by the night, Who heeded dark whispers in greeds hungry bite, With evil ablaze like a serpent inside, Built thrones for Empire, where shadows reside. The skies turned to fire and melted like glass, No records remember a day it would pass— The rivers of blood ran unending and wide, As goodness and evil in battle collide. Though forces of orbit might shatter the soul, No madness could keep hatreds missiles from goal— Through infinite darkness, through stellar terrain, Flew sorrow, and terror, and fury unchained. At speed of the light, or even beyond, Two powers would clash in a never-torn bond. The tidings of mercy, the pulses of hate, Like ripples through space would collide and create. On planets in shadows and stars burning wild, Priests knelt to both darkness and dawns sacred child. Those swearing to sunlight with heads bowed so low, Struck hard against servants of all cosmic woe. When science arose and the stars were unlocked, The heavens were set by the fires war had wrought. A thousand worlds burned in the clash of the right, And evils cold fury ignited the night. Scores of lost worlds took up arms in the name Of gods both of darkness and gods crowned with flame. The first ship to bear a soul forged in design Brought vengeance and fire through deep space and time. And epochs now pass, like a chain tightly wound, The faces of gods split and crack, breaking down. No longer do good and evil decide, The rulers and empires now cut their own tides. Yet threads of the past still extend through the void, Through cosmos that ancient intent once employed. As long as they last, they still wield their great sway, The levers of fate on eternity’s stage. And there stand two figures like spiders who weave, Their ages and power long past our belief. Still steering the oar that divides night and flame— The motion of Good and the Evil it tames.$

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