Uploaded April 2026 | Updated September 2026, 3 weeks ago

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Lyrics by: Zhuravliov
Music and Vocals by: SUNO.ai
Original song is here: youtube.com/watch?v=F7ySNfeaQ2o

Note: I rewrote the chorus sections so they differ from each other and the song feels less monotonous.

Lyrics:
[Intro]
[acoustic guitar strumming, accordion melody, tambourine]

[Verse 1]
[male lead vocals]
Oh, there once was a bard with a tale to tell
He walked 'round the town with a goofy spell (spell)
He sang of heroes and of epic quests
But it seemed that trouble followed him like pests

[Chorus 1]
[group vocals join, full band enters]
Oh, The Bard, The Bard, a rascal and a mess
His wine-filled nights always end in distress
Wherever he roams, there's laughter and dismay
But somehow he charms his troubles away

[Post-Chorus]
[accordion solo, rhythmic clapping]

[Verse 2]
[lead vocals]
He wooed the ladies with a roguish grin
He drank the tavern dry, again and again (again)
He stumbled through the night, causing chaos and strife
But in the end, he'd always save the day...right?

[Chorus 2]
[group vocals]
Oh, The Bard, The Bard, a rogue with no shame
From taverns to castles, they all curse his name
Chaos in his path, he leaves life askew
Yet somehow they cheer when his song is through

[Verse 3]
[lead vocals]
A maiden fair approached him, with a plea in her voice
"My good sir, oh bard, I've got a simple choice
There's a rat in my cellar, it's causing such strife
With your music and charm, please end its cursed life"

[Chorus 3]
[group vocals]
Oh, The Bard, The Bard, with songs in his heart
He'd fix your problems... or tear them apart
No dragon too fierce, no pest he won't face
Just don't count on him for tact or grace

[Verse 4]
[tempo remains steady, accordion swells]
So the Bard he went down, to the cellar so dark,
But a rat he found not, 'twas a dragon's sharp spark
Belching fire and smoke, the Bard turned to flee,
With his britches ablaze, what a sight for to see!

[Chorus 4]
[group vocals]
Oh, The Bard, The Bard, the fool of the land
He always escapes by the skin of his hand
Through fire and mishap, he stumbles and schemes
Turning misadventure to songs and dreams

[Verse 5]
[lead vocals]
The villagers watched as the Bard ran about,
Trying to douse the flames that had him in a rout
"Water! Water!" he cried, as he danced with a yelp
But the villagers laughed, as it gave him no help

[Chorus 5]
[group vocals]
Oh, The Bard, The Bard, such a sight to behold
With his endless blunders and stories retold
He’ll burn down your barns, fail your quest on a whim
Yet somehow you’ll thank the gods for him

[Verse 6]
[lead vocals]
But the tale does not end, for the Bard's antics are rife,
More misadventures await, full of trouble and strife
If you wish to behold them, then you must, without fail,
Take up quill and parchment, and write your own tale.

[Chorus 6]
[group vocals]
Oh, The Bard, The Bard, let his legend be sung
Of his maddening tricks and his silver tongue
A hero, a fool, with chaos in his wake
Still, we raise our mugs for The Bard's mistakes!

[Outro]
[group vocals]
Oh, The Bard, The Bard, what a pain in the ass
He's a women-loving, booze-drinking brash
Wherever he goes, disaster's in his wake
But we all can't help but laugh and shake

[final accordion chord, tambourine hit]1