Uploaded June 2016 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Emily (aka Yinzerella from DinnerIsServed1972.com) was searching for kitschy/retro places for us to visit, 'cause that's sort of her thing. After searching for "themed hotels", "sex motels", and "ridiculously retro resorts", she stumbled upon a Groupon for Paradise Stream, home of the heart-shaped whirlpool tub, and, even better, the two-story Champagne Glass Tower Suite! So we packed up the Camry with cheap champagne, bubble bath, and gallon of lube, and headed for the Poconos.
Paradise Stream is a beautiful resort, but a lot of it is totally stuck in the eighties, which is pretty awesome as far as I'm concerned. I kept expecting the dude with the 'fro from Air Supply to jump out of the bushes and serenade us with "Even the Nights Are Better", which, again, would have been totally awesome.
In all seriousness, though, there is a lot to do there besides having sex on every surface of your room. There's a nature trail, paddle boats, mini-golf, archery, bocce, a gift shop that sells dildos, and an arcade with pool tables, all of which are included in the $25/night resort fee. They even have a dude in the lounge who does an R-rated version of "The Dating Game" every night.
The only two negatives were:
1. There wasn't enough hot water to fill up the Champagne Tower Hot Tub, so it ended up being pretty cold. But the pool downstairs was nice and warm, so it wasn't a big deal.
2. No room service! What kind of sex resort doesn't have room service?!
Other than those two things, it was pretty much perfect. I got to dangle naked from a giant plastic champagne glass, drink booze on a pond and in a shower, and have relations with a glamorous woman. I felt like a character from Remington Steele!
DISCLAIMER: Do not actually pour a whole bottle of bubble bath into a single bath. We *maybe* used half. Also, don't hang from Champagne Tower hot tubs without something supporting your weight (I was standing on a cooler). Actually, just don't hang from Champagne Tower hot tubs in general.
00:00 Intro
00:44 Tour of the grounds
03:49 Tour of the room
04:33 History of the resort
06:08 Getting in the Champagne Tower Tub
07:46 Outro
covepoconoresorts.com/resorts/paradise-stream
Sexy Time music by Rossco SoleTrain:
youtube.com/rosscosoletrain2
soundcloud.com/rosscosoletrainbeats#_=_
Keep up with Leonard's shenanigans and book news at:
facebook.com/leonard.kinsey.3
twitter.com/DarkSideDisney
leonardkinsey.com
For offbeat, alternative, and adult-oriented Disney-related books, posters, CDs, and other merch, visit bambooforestpublishing.com
Emily (aka Yinzerella from DinnerIsServed1972.com) was searching for kitschy/retro places for us to visit, 'cause that's sort of her thing. After searching for "themed hotels", "sex motels", and "ridiculously retro resorts", she stumbled upon a Groupon for Paradise Stream, home of the heart-shaped whirlpool tub, and, even better, the two-story Champagne Glass Tower Suite! So we packed up the Camry with cheap champagne, bubble bath, and gallon of lube, and headed for the Poconos.
Paradise Stream is a beautiful resort, but a lot of it is totally stuck in the eighties, which is pretty awesome as far as I'm concerned. I kept expecting the dude with the 'fro from Air Supply to jump out of the bushes and serenade us with "Even the Nights Are Better", which, again, would have been totally awesome.
In all seriousness, though, there is a lot to do there besides having sex on every surface of your room. There's a nature trail, paddle boats, mini-golf, archery, bocce, a gift shop that sells dildos, and an arcade with pool tables, all of which are included in the $25/night resort fee. They even have a dude in the lounge who does an R-rated version of "The Dating Game" every night.
The only two negatives were:
1. There wasn't enough hot water to fill up the Champagne Tower Hot Tub, so it ended up being pretty cold. But the pool downstairs was nice and warm, so it wasn't a big deal.
2. No room service! What kind of sex resort doesn't have room service?!
Other than those two things, it was pretty much perfect. I got to dangle naked from a giant plastic champagne glass, drink booze on a pond and in a shower, and have relations with a glamorous woman. I felt like a character from Remington Steele!
DISCLAIMER: Do not actually pour a whole bottle of bubble bath into a single bath. We *maybe* used half. Also, don't hang from Champagne Tower hot tubs without something supporting your weight (I was standing on a cooler). Actually, just don't hang from Champagne Tower hot tubs in general.
00:00 Intro
00:44 Tour of the grounds
03:49 Tour of the room
04:33 History of the resort
06:08 Getting in the Champagne Tower Tub
07:46 Outro
covepoconoresorts.com/resorts/paradise-stream
Sexy Time music by Rossco SoleTrain:
youtube.com/rosscosoletrain2
soundcloud.com/rosscosoletrainbeats#_=_
Keep up with Leonard's shenanigans and book news at:
facebook.com/leonard.kinsey.3
twitter.com/DarkSideDisney
leonardkinsey.com
For offbeat, alternative, and adult-oriented Disney-related books, posters, CDs, and other merch, visit bambooforestpublishing.com
