Uploaded January 2021 | Updated September 2026, 1 hour ago
Firestorm track 01. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: archive.org/details/filk_firestorm
Find more of Leslie Fish's music at: lesliefish.bandcamp.com
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Lyrics:
Chorus:
Better than who? (Better than who?)
The scores aren't in (The scores aren't in)
Let the gods of evolution say who'll win.
Better at what? (Better at what?)
In what way? (In what way?)
Let the gods of evolution have their say.
I'm better than you at shooting,
You're better than me with a knife.
Who's to say which tool works better when the thugs come for your life?
You're better than me at karate,
I'm better than you with a stick.
Do you really want to walk through the slums tonight, let the old gods take their pick?
(Chorus)
I'm better at breathing pollution,
You're better at avoiding colds.
Which of us will last the longer in the threats the future holds?
You're better at surviving bug bites,
I'm better at eating junk.
If civilization sinks tomorrow, which of us would be sunk?
(Chorus)
I'm better at training horses,
You're better at fixing cars.
Which will be in more demand at the next turn of the stars?
You're better at hunting rabbits,
I'm better at making fire.
Which of those skills can better fulfill what tomorrow might require?
(Chorus)
I'm better at growing gardens,
You're better at counting cash.
Which will serve us best tomorrow, the money or the stash?
You're better at working computers,
I'm better at making a song.
Which will put more food on the table if the world goes right or wrong?
(Chorus)
You're better at playing dominance,
I'm better at making friends.
What works better, whether or not civilization ends?
Nobody knows the future,
Or what skill betters the odds.
So it's best to say we're all born equal and leave the rest to the gods.
(Chorus)
Firestorm track 01. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: archive.org/details/filk_firestorm
Find more of Leslie Fish's music at: lesliefish.bandcamp.com
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lyrics:
Chorus:
Better than who? (Better than who?)
The scores aren't in (The scores aren't in)
Let the gods of evolution say who'll win.
Better at what? (Better at what?)
In what way? (In what way?)
Let the gods of evolution have their say.
I'm better than you at shooting,
You're better than me with a knife.
Who's to say which tool works better when the thugs come for your life?
You're better than me at karate,
I'm better than you with a stick.
Do you really want to walk through the slums tonight, let the old gods take their pick?
(Chorus)
I'm better at breathing pollution,
You're better at avoiding colds.
Which of us will last the longer in the threats the future holds?
You're better at surviving bug bites,
I'm better at eating junk.
If civilization sinks tomorrow, which of us would be sunk?
(Chorus)
I'm better at training horses,
You're better at fixing cars.
Which will be in more demand at the next turn of the stars?
You're better at hunting rabbits,
I'm better at making fire.
Which of those skills can better fulfill what tomorrow might require?
(Chorus)
I'm better at growing gardens,
You're better at counting cash.
Which will serve us best tomorrow, the money or the stash?
You're better at working computers,
I'm better at making a song.
Which will put more food on the table if the world goes right or wrong?
(Chorus)
You're better at playing dominance,
I'm better at making friends.
What works better, whether or not civilization ends?
Nobody knows the future,
Or what skill betters the odds.
So it's best to say we're all born equal and leave the rest to the gods.
(Chorus)
![Frank Hayes - Grandfather Clock [HQ]
Dont Ask track 02. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_dont_ask
Lyrics:
My grandfathers clock was too large for the shelf,
So it stood ninety years on the floor.
It was taller by half than the old man himself
Though it weighed not a pennyweight more.
And though years would congeal Grandpas brain to Malt-O-Meal,
Hed one wish that would not be denied:
For his will said to bury him in the clock
When the old man died.
Now Grandfathers grandfather built him the clock
And he built it like no clock before.
But the old so-and-so built it so high and wide
That we cant fit it out through the door.
So when Grandmad been calmed and Grandpa had been embalmed,
We discovered the clock was too wide
But the goddamned cadaver had gotten jammed—
He was stuck inside.
Now old Grandpapas standing there in the hallway
At 917 Cherry Lane.
And he stands, the old cuss, making faces at us
Which we try to ignore just the same.
But we still think of him as we, haggard, pale, and grim,
Stagger into the cold mornings light,
Cause at odd times, hes ringing the blasted chimes
Every goddamned night.
So at 3:22 A.M. (ding-dong, ding-dong)
“My god, there goes Gramps again!” (ding-dong, ding-dong)
At odd times, hes ringing the blasted chimes
Every goddamned night. Frank Hayes - Grandfather Clock [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/G3l0job0ebI/mqdefault.jpg)
![Jordin Kare - Bloody Bastards [HQ]
Fire in the Sky track 05. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_fire_in_the_sky
Lyrics:
Chorus:
Heres to Conestoga, Pegasus, and Liberty,
And all the rest wholl join them in the race.
For were proud of NASAs heroes, but wed rather raise our glass
To the hard-nosed bloody bastards who will get us into space.
They dont have fancy buildings. That money goes for tools—
They build their birds with auto parts and tire-rubber fuel.
Theyre the private space craft companies. With luck theyre goin far,
And for cold cash on the barrel-head, cold cash on the barrel-head, cold cash on the barrel-head theyll take us to the stars!
(Chorus)
They are businessmen and lawyers, theyre con-men, knaves, and fools,
And damn fine engineers that got fed up with NASAs rules,
And theyre talking to the bankers, using every trick they know,
For theyre selling dreams and promises, sellin dreams and promises, sellin dreams and promises, ten million bucks a throw!
(Chorus)
Its a high-stakes game theyre playing, but by God, theyre having fun,
For they know that out in orbit there are fortunes to be won,
And theyll bend the rules to win em. Hell, theyll steal and cheat and lie,
For its devil take the hindmost, devil take the hindmost, yeah, its devil take the hindmost, the winner takes the sky!
(Chorus)
For its not enough to walk the moon, send robots off to Mars,
Nor send a lucky handful out to catch a glimpse of stars.
Were gonna live and work and space. Were gonna go to stay,
And the ones wholl make it happen, the ones wholl make it happen, yes, the ones wholl make it happen are the ones wholl make it pay!
(Chorus)
Theyre hard-nosed bloody bastards, star-struck bloody bastards,
Our kind of bloody bastards, if theyll get us into space! Jordin Kare - Bloody Bastards [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/GWdjOBMucvg/mqdefault.jpg)
![Technical Difficulties - Reluctant Freedom [HQ]
Please Stand By track 02. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_please_stand_by/
Lyrics:
(Give me an A.
Aaayyyy!
No, give me the note.)
If someone should ask why my leaving was sudden,
Say (that I just cant stay) that I told you Im tired of caring
I’ve got so many things to see and do
And loving just leads to despair, my dear.
I’m going to the stars where I can be me
Since the first time I saw the sky, it’s been my only dream
And I know (that you cannot come too) you’re the one who made the dream come true
But love for me now, dear, is far too soon.
There’s got to be something better than this pain
And it may be weak but I just cant stay
And I doubt I will ever pass this way again
But memories of here and you I will retain.
I guess that I’ll just say my last goodbye
Cause the freedom you gave (me is coming now) is upon me now
You won’t come with me yet I have to go
Goodbye, my love, the only love I’ll know. Technical Difficulties - Reluctant Freedom [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Gv4twNqeXxo/mqdefault.jpg)
![Technical Difficulties - One Final Lesson [HQ]
Please Stand By track 08. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_please_stand_by/
Lyrics:
Could you please explain?
Why do I feel pain?
Why do I care what these humans do?
And how could they mean so damn much to you?
Take me by the hand
And please make me understand
Why Im suffering now; does death hurt this bad?
Oh, impart upon me the wisdom you had
It infuriates me that they suffer for thee
Why didnt they do something then?
Dont speak of the logic, because, dammit, its not fair
Someone else could go,
Someone I dont know
Someone I dont see,
Someone I dont need
Mentor, please forgive
What advice now would you give?
I am young and alone, and I foul all I do
Who will show me the way, if it not be you?
Can I not call you back, just once more, to my side?
Oh, forgive my weak flesh, but when you left I cried
Like the humans, I cried Technical Difficulties - One Final Lesson [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/HTsgM4ih-Is/mqdefault.jpg)
![Bob Kanefsky/Leslie Fish - Filksingers, Filksingers [HQ]
Tapeworm I track 8. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_tapeworm_1
Lyrics:
A harsh noise echoed throughout the hotel
Till the chandeliers shook in distress.
A noise shrill and piercing as harpies in heat,
With much less restraint and finesse.
So loud was the filksing, so raucous and wild,
The microphones started to burn.
A fool could have told it was no night to be
Too timid in claiming one’s turn.
Chorus:
Filksingers, filksingers, won’t you be kind?
I’ve been here since yesterday morning, you see.
Filksingers, filksingers, let me go next!
And I’ll try not to sing out of key.
He sat there alone at the back of the room.
He was pale, and he shook with fatigue.
His hands were clenched whitely upon his guitar.
It was plain he was out of his league.
“It won’t be your turn for an hour,” they said,
“An hour until it comes ’round.
Be sure that you get our attention next time;
We missed you there, slumped on the ground.”
(Chorus)
The filksing wore on; it lasted all night,
With the songs getting more and more gross.
Grimly one filksinger clung to the spotlight
And sang twenty minutes of ose.
The boy in the corner sat slumped in defeat:
The filkers had missed him once more.
They’d seemed not to notice his feeble attempts
To rise from his spot on the floor.
(Chorus)
“I hear that the ghost reappeared here last night,”
The janitor said with a yawn.
“It certainly did,” said the bellboy who brought
The pitchers of water at dawn.
“They say the convention that killed the poor kid
Was held here the same time last year,
And now any night that they sing in this room,
That spirit is like to appear.”
(Chorus)
“A ghost? At the filksing?” the filksingers asked,
And some of them paled with fright.
“Oh yes, folks, and that’s why we can’t hire a bellboy
Who’ll dare bring you water at night.
The poor fellow died of no food and no sleep,
And no way to keep himself warm.
His soul must be bound by some unfulfilled wish,
Some last act he has to perform.”
(Chorus) Bob Kanefsky/Leslie Fish - Filksingers, Filksingers [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/IHvhnpSgaEk/mqdefault.jpg)
![Jordin Kare - Two Note [HQ]
Parody Violation track 1. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_parody_violation
Lyrics (TTTO Troll Hall, Leslie Fish):
I am tall, I am strong, I sing deep like a bass
I love blood, I love gore, I kill flies with a mace
Yes, its ose that I love; sing no cheerful songs, please.
Damn your notes, damn your tunes, damn your keys!
Learned my style from an Asprin [Robert Asprin], my songs from a Fish [Leslie Fish]
Learned to pick, learned to strum, learned to sing? Dont you wish!
Now my plan is revealed, Ill bring filk to its knees.
Damn your notes, damn your tunes, damn your keys! Jordin Kare - Two Note [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Ie01HovFB-w/mqdefault.jpg)
![Jordin Kare - Fuel to Feed the Drive [HQ]
Parody Violation track 4. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_parody_violation
Lyrics (Cynthia McQuillin):
A hundred parsecs out, on a ship called Bormans Fate,
The engineer McClellan sent the word up to the mate:
Our engines growing cold, he said, and soon our ship must die,
If we cant find a planet with fuel to feed the drive.
Now our ships a noble lady, and our captain he is true,
But our engineer is no ones god, no angels in our crew
If we cant find an answer soon, nobody will survive
Why cant we find some blasted rock with fuel to feed the drive?
What prayer can stir the gods of space who dwell beyond the stars?
What mortal words can help or heal an engine without power?
And will we drift forever? Lost between the stars, we strive
To find a single planet with fuel to feed the drive.
The screen grows bright, a world weve found, of rock and ice and steel
If only we can make it there, pray the coils hold the field
Hope flares anew: our fields will hold, our engine will survive,
Its a hell of a world but theres hydrogen to feed our dying drive.
So once again we fly through space, this void beyond the stars.
Who knows what ruin may take us, what evil fate is ours?
As long as our ship is able, we will ply the stars and thrive,
As long as we are granted fuel to feed the drive,
As long as we are granted fuel to feed the drive. Jordin Kare - Fuel to Feed the Drive [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/J06jtebxWQc/mqdefault.jpg)
![UnReal Estate 13 - Dream Ship [HQ]
Sung by Bill Roper. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_unreal_estate
Lyrics:
Dream, sailing your ship through space.
Dream, here in this silent place.
Sail away on the solar wind.
Silver sails take you back again,
Light reflecting in
Gleaming thread like the spiders spin
Guide your way.
Sail away.
Dream, sailing among the stars.
Dream, put into port at Mars.
Reddened world in a darkened sky.
Load supplies and away you fly,
Phobos passing by,
You can touch it if you want to try.
On this day,
Sail away.
Dream, sailing the solar tide.
Dream, gossamer sail spread wide.
Catch the light of the trailing sun.
Sailing on till your journeys done—
Make another one.
New voyages just begun.
On your way,
Sail away.
Away... UnReal Estate 13 - Dream Ship [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/JKhFwl5WvlA/mqdefault.jpg)
![Frank Hayes - Dont Ask [HQ]
Dont Ask track 01. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_dont_ask
Lyrics:
The orders come down, and they march us away;
Theres a battle to fight, and we join in the fray
God, its hell when you know this could be your last day...
But its better than working for Xerox!
So march, March, April, May, June, July,
August, September, well fight every day!
And its fare thee well, all vestige of modesty:
All of the Dorsai are singing.
Some go for the glory, some just like to fight
But the truth is we Dorsai are not very bright
Well steal or well screw what we cant shoot on sight—
God, its hell to encounter a fireplug!
So march, March, April, May, June, July,
August, September, well fight every day!
And its fare thee well, all vestige of harmony:
All of the Dorsai are drinking.
We Dorsai have Honor. We always fight fair—
Except when were losing, and then we dont care,
For defeat is disgrace that we never could bear...
And we only get paid when were winning.
So march, March, April, May, June, July,
August, September, well fight every day!
And its fare thee well, all vestige of honesty:
All of the Dorsai are cheating.
When the battle is over and the fighting is done,
If ten of us made it, we figure weve won
Cause we count the survivors, and count them by one, two, three,
Four, five, six, seven, eight, nine...many...
So march, March, April, May, June, July,
August, September, well fight every day!
And its fare thee well, all vestige of comedy:
All of the Dorsai are counting. Frank Hayes - Dont Ask [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/JMekR1Eq1Ig/mqdefault.jpg)
![Bill Sutton - Crystal Singer [HQ]
Past Due track 02. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_past_due
[book: Crystal Singer series, Anne McCaffrey]
Lyrics:
The whirlwind of the morning air harmoniously sighs
And echoes from the facets of the cliffs into the skies
We singers of the crystal must begin another day
Forgetting all the beauty in our need to make it pay
The sled may lift us far above the walls of crystal stone
And we may not remember all the claims weve called our own—
But now we fly and now we sing and listen for the sound
Of crystal veins that sing reply from cold and barren ground
Though I have flown a thousand miles and still must fly as far
I now recall the place I found my pure black crystal spar!
My comp reminds me as I fly of things that I must do
And warns me of the dangers that may keep me from my due
Suddenly the bells ring out, the whine assails my ears
A sonic storm is moving in—sled, get me out of here!
The skies light up, the blasts of wind are rising to a peak
And every passing moment takes me from the black I seek
Racing the wind, running from the storm,
Escaping from the violence to a shelter safe and warm
The storm moves ever faster, and ever louder calls
The sled gives out an anguished cry as to the storm it falls
I waken to the howl of wind resounding in my ears
The nurse the Guild provides for me stands forth to dry my tears
She cannot understand my weeping or the reason why—
I have forgotten once again where my black crystals lie
We singers of the crystal live for over eightscore years
But you who live a shorter span can never know our fears
Your memories may reach across a gulf ours cannot span—
Remembering makes you the life and me the empty man
The sled may lift us far above the walls of crystal stone
And we may not remember all the things weve called our own—
But now we fly and now we sing and listen for the sound
Of crystal veins that sing reply from cold and barren ground Bill Sutton - Crystal Singer [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Jthp-dp5Fic/mqdefault.jpg)
![Free Fall & Other Delights 18 - Helvas Song [HQ]
Sung by Cecilia Eng. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_free_fall_and_other_delights
Lyrics:
My sister and my brother ships speak softly by my side
But I only hear the emptiness of space
And a siren song which calls to me from a burning, white-hot star
Promising oblivion and peace
Chorus:
And the stars still dance the spiral dance,
And the planets circle far
But the ship who sang will sing no more
Between the distant stars
Ill sing no more.
For my love lies dead within me, his voice forever still
It seems as though my heart will never mend
The musics died unfinished, his song is at an end
Well never sing again
(Chorus)
Now I could turn and fly away, a rogue without a home
And turn my back on all that we have known
But a hundred years is far too long to live on nothing more
Than memories and heartache, all alone
(Chorus)
So here, upon this lonely field, Ill bid my love goodbye
The honors at his graveside are the best
And somehow I will find my voice and fill the silent plain
Yes, Ill sing him to his rest
And the stars will dance the spiral dance,
And the planets circle far
And the ship who sang will sing once more
Between the distant stars
Ill sing once more.
And the ship who sang will sing once more
Between the distant stars
Ill sing once more. Free Fall & Other Delights 18 - Helvas Song [HQ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/K5gpBzTsGSY/mqdefault.jpg)