Uploaded September 2014 | Updated September 2026, 1 week ago
He almost has you fooled. This was Victorian England and life was indeed very nice if you were a man of substance. The last picture shows what life was like if you were not. Alfred Austin has been called the worst Poet Laureate. He was highly critical of other poets of his day, such as Tennyson and Browning, and Browning called him "The Banjo Byron" in retaliation. Take note: to invent a devastating nickname for your enemy can inflict an injury that never heals.
In this poem he is at his best, describing flora and fauna. I left out the last verses because they throw a damper on the mood of the poem, which isn't at all bad. Actually it's very tricky to read, being full of tongue-twisters, open-vowels and sibilants.
This was Victorian England, a male-dominated society. A girl's best chance of a comfortable living was to find a wealthy patron who would treat her kindly. The men thought they were doing the girls a favour. In return the girls thought themselves lucky. The men took pride in their skills in seduction. There was very little else to do: no television, no telephones, no internet. It was the main topic in the gentlemen's clubs which never admitted women. Most dirty jokes come from this era e.g.
"When a maid of honour loses her honour, what must you do?"
"Why, you must get her honour back again ".
(it's a double-entendre, say it out loud and it sounds like "get her on her back again")
Here's the Pearl A Magazine of Facetiae and Voluptuous Reading 1879-1880
tinyurl.com/ThePealMagazine
You might have noticed the give-away phrases "makes springtime in the maiden 's blood", "and in the twilight maids grow kind" and "christian charity to leaven lowly lives". The streets and parks teemed with prostitutes. In contrast, life for the lower orders was grim.
It has been argued that men actually were more masculine in those days. Sperm counts have declined considerably since Victorian times. Some scientists say the change in society is partly due to the change of diet, some say it's due to the emancipation of women. Believe whatever suits you best.
Here's the last verses that I withheld. You will see why I didn't read them.
Not care to live while English homes
Nestle in English trees,
And England's Trident-Sceptre roams
Her territorial seas!
Not live while English songs are sung
Wherever blows the wind,
And England's laws and England's tongue
Enfranchise half mankind!
So long as in Pacific main,
Or on Atlantic strand,
Our kin transmit the parent strain,
And love the Mother-Land;
So long as in this ocean Realm,
Victoria and her Line
Retain the heritage of the helm,
By loyalty divine;
So long as flashes English steel,
And English trumpets shrill,
He is dead already who doth not feel
Life is worth living still.
He almost has you fooled. This was Victorian England and life was indeed very nice if you were a man of substance. The last picture shows what life was like if you were not. Alfred Austin has been called the worst Poet Laureate. He was highly critical of other poets of his day, such as Tennyson and Browning, and Browning called him "The Banjo Byron" in retaliation. Take note: to invent a devastating nickname for your enemy can inflict an injury that never heals.
In this poem he is at his best, describing flora and fauna. I left out the last verses because they throw a damper on the mood of the poem, which isn't at all bad. Actually it's very tricky to read, being full of tongue-twisters, open-vowels and sibilants.
This was Victorian England, a male-dominated society. A girl's best chance of a comfortable living was to find a wealthy patron who would treat her kindly. The men thought they were doing the girls a favour. In return the girls thought themselves lucky. The men took pride in their skills in seduction. There was very little else to do: no television, no telephones, no internet. It was the main topic in the gentlemen's clubs which never admitted women. Most dirty jokes come from this era e.g.
"When a maid of honour loses her honour, what must you do?"
"Why, you must get her honour back again ".
(it's a double-entendre, say it out loud and it sounds like "get her on her back again")
Here's the Pearl A Magazine of Facetiae and Voluptuous Reading 1879-1880
tinyurl.com/ThePealMagazine
You might have noticed the give-away phrases "makes springtime in the maiden 's blood", "and in the twilight maids grow kind" and "christian charity to leaven lowly lives". The streets and parks teemed with prostitutes. In contrast, life for the lower orders was grim.
It has been argued that men actually were more masculine in those days. Sperm counts have declined considerably since Victorian times. Some scientists say the change in society is partly due to the change of diet, some say it's due to the emancipation of women. Believe whatever suits you best.
Here's the last verses that I withheld. You will see why I didn't read them.
Not care to live while English homes
Nestle in English trees,
And England's Trident-Sceptre roams
Her territorial seas!
Not live while English songs are sung
Wherever blows the wind,
And England's laws and England's tongue
Enfranchise half mankind!
So long as in Pacific main,
Or on Atlantic strand,
Our kin transmit the parent strain,
And love the Mother-Land;
So long as in this ocean Realm,
Victoria and her Line
Retain the heritage of the helm,
By loyalty divine;
So long as flashes English steel,
And English trumpets shrill,
He is dead already who doth not feel
Life is worth living still.
