SpokenVerse | Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs by Roald Dahl (read by Tom O'Bedlam) @SpokenVerse | Uploaded June 2012 | Updated October 2024, 6 hours ago.
The best Snow White themed party in literature is in John Steinbeck's Sweet Thursday. If you haven't read it then you should because it will improve the way you see the rest of humanity.
Like any party thrown by or for a single woman, its purpose was to invite one particular man. (If a girl ever invites you to her party try to work out whether you are that particular man. Even it you're not, then still you might have been requested by one of her friends. Otherwise you're just a stooge who won't cause any trouble)
Anyway, Suzy is going as Snow White to the party at the Palace Flophouse. She has a wedding dress donated by Mabel, also a hooker, who says "Grandma left it to Mama. Mama left it to me. We ain't none of us needed it." The boys from the Palace Flophouse go as "great big overgrowed dwarfs". Doc is, of course, the particular man.
Read it, it will brighten up your day. Particularly Chapter 17, "O Frabjous Day". You can download the whole book here: tinyurl.com/6q3qkve or buy a copy for your Kindle from Amazon.
The name of the dwarf that everybody forgets is Bashful.
The original Grimm's Fairy Tale is here:
surlalunefairytales.com/sevendwarfs/index.html
and a less "Grimm" version more suitable for children here:
dltk-teach.com/rhymes/snowwhite/story.htm
These tales were meant to scare children. The outside world was dangerous, they didn't want them wandering off into the woods.
The first illustration is from an up-to-date version of the story
by Ralph Tedesco and Joe Tyler:
wowio.com/users/product.asp?BookId=240437
The lady in the mirror from this blog
"Not Dead Yet: how to look authentic and beautiful in our middle years"
notdeadyetstyle.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/my-biggest-mirror-challenge-is.html
Judging by the appearance of some celebrities, "authentic" hits the nail on the head.
The fantastic dark half-face is a book cover
"Fairest of All: A Tale of the Wicked Queen" by Serena Valenti:
amazon.co.uk/Fairest-All-Tale-Wicked-Queen/dp/1423106296
Show white with the Huntsman was by George Soper, 1915
Snow White in the Wood was by Franz Juttner 1905
The film still is Lily Collins in Mirror, Mirror.
Snow white and the Seven Dwarfs by Scott Gustafson
scottgustafson.com/Portfolio_FT8.html
Also available as a 1000-piece jigsaw from Amazon
amazon.co.uk/JUMBO-1000-PIECE-JIGSAW-PUZZLE/dp/B004WSNW3I
When little Snow-White's mother died
The King, her father, up and cried
"Oh, what a nuisance! What a life!
Now I must find another wife."
(It's never easy for a King
To find himself that sort of thing.)
He wrote to every magazine
And said, "I'm looking for a Queen."
At least ten thousand girls replied
And begged to be the royal bride
The king said with a shifty smile
"I'd like to give each one a trial."
However, in the end he chose
A lady called Miss Maclahose
Who brought along a curious toy
That seemed to give her endless joy.
This was a mirror framed in brass
A MAGIC TALKING LOOKING GLASS
Ask it something day or night
It always got the answer right
For instance, if you were to say
"Oh Mirror, what's for lunch today?"
The thing would answer in a trice
"Today it's scrambled eggs and rice."
Now every day, week in week out
The spoiled and stupid Queen would shout
"Oh Mirror Mirror on the wall
Who is the fairest of them all?"
The Mirror answered every time
"Oh Madam, you're the Queen sublime
You are the only one to charm us
Queen, you are the cat's pyjamas."
For ten whole years the silly Queen
Repeated this absurd routine
Then suddenly, one awful day
She heard the Magic Mirror say
"From now on Queen, you're number two
Snow-White is prettier than you."
The Queen went absolutely wild
She yelled, "I'm going to scrag that child."
"I'll cook her flaming goose, I'll skin her
I'll have her rotten guts for dinner."
She called the Huntsman to her study
She shouted at him, "Listen, buddy,
You drag that filthy girl outside
And see you take her for a ride
Thereafter slit her ribs apart
And bring me back her bleeding heart."
The Huntsman dragged the lovely child
Deep deep into the forest wild
Fearing the worst, poor Snow-White spake
She cried, "Oh please give me a break."
The knife was poised, the arm was strong
She cried again, "I've done no wrong."
The Huntsman's heart began to flutter
It melted like a pound of butter.
He murmured, "Okay, beat it, kid."
And you can bet your life she did.
Later, the Huntsman made a stop
Within the local butcher's shop
And there he bought, for safety's sake
A bullocks heart and one nice steak
"Oh Majesty! Oh Queen," he cried
"That rotten little girl has died.
And just to prove I didn't cheat
I've brought along these bits of meat."
The Queen cried out, "Bravissimo
I trust you killed her nice and slow."
Then (this is the disgusting part)
The Queen sat down and ate the heart
(I only hope she cooked it well
Boiled heart can be as tough as hell)
etc - out of space
The best Snow White themed party in literature is in John Steinbeck's Sweet Thursday. If you haven't read it then you should because it will improve the way you see the rest of humanity.
Like any party thrown by or for a single woman, its purpose was to invite one particular man. (If a girl ever invites you to her party try to work out whether you are that particular man. Even it you're not, then still you might have been requested by one of her friends. Otherwise you're just a stooge who won't cause any trouble)
Anyway, Suzy is going as Snow White to the party at the Palace Flophouse. She has a wedding dress donated by Mabel, also a hooker, who says "Grandma left it to Mama. Mama left it to me. We ain't none of us needed it." The boys from the Palace Flophouse go as "great big overgrowed dwarfs". Doc is, of course, the particular man.
Read it, it will brighten up your day. Particularly Chapter 17, "O Frabjous Day". You can download the whole book here: tinyurl.com/6q3qkve or buy a copy for your Kindle from Amazon.
The name of the dwarf that everybody forgets is Bashful.
The original Grimm's Fairy Tale is here:
surlalunefairytales.com/sevendwarfs/index.html
and a less "Grimm" version more suitable for children here:
dltk-teach.com/rhymes/snowwhite/story.htm
These tales were meant to scare children. The outside world was dangerous, they didn't want them wandering off into the woods.
The first illustration is from an up-to-date version of the story
by Ralph Tedesco and Joe Tyler:
wowio.com/users/product.asp?BookId=240437
The lady in the mirror from this blog
"Not Dead Yet: how to look authentic and beautiful in our middle years"
notdeadyetstyle.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/my-biggest-mirror-challenge-is.html
Judging by the appearance of some celebrities, "authentic" hits the nail on the head.
The fantastic dark half-face is a book cover
"Fairest of All: A Tale of the Wicked Queen" by Serena Valenti:
amazon.co.uk/Fairest-All-Tale-Wicked-Queen/dp/1423106296
Show white with the Huntsman was by George Soper, 1915
Snow White in the Wood was by Franz Juttner 1905
The film still is Lily Collins in Mirror, Mirror.
Snow white and the Seven Dwarfs by Scott Gustafson
scottgustafson.com/Portfolio_FT8.html
Also available as a 1000-piece jigsaw from Amazon
amazon.co.uk/JUMBO-1000-PIECE-JIGSAW-PUZZLE/dp/B004WSNW3I
When little Snow-White's mother died
The King, her father, up and cried
"Oh, what a nuisance! What a life!
Now I must find another wife."
(It's never easy for a King
To find himself that sort of thing.)
He wrote to every magazine
And said, "I'm looking for a Queen."
At least ten thousand girls replied
And begged to be the royal bride
The king said with a shifty smile
"I'd like to give each one a trial."
However, in the end he chose
A lady called Miss Maclahose
Who brought along a curious toy
That seemed to give her endless joy.
This was a mirror framed in brass
A MAGIC TALKING LOOKING GLASS
Ask it something day or night
It always got the answer right
For instance, if you were to say
"Oh Mirror, what's for lunch today?"
The thing would answer in a trice
"Today it's scrambled eggs and rice."
Now every day, week in week out
The spoiled and stupid Queen would shout
"Oh Mirror Mirror on the wall
Who is the fairest of them all?"
The Mirror answered every time
"Oh Madam, you're the Queen sublime
You are the only one to charm us
Queen, you are the cat's pyjamas."
For ten whole years the silly Queen
Repeated this absurd routine
Then suddenly, one awful day
She heard the Magic Mirror say
"From now on Queen, you're number two
Snow-White is prettier than you."
The Queen went absolutely wild
She yelled, "I'm going to scrag that child."
"I'll cook her flaming goose, I'll skin her
I'll have her rotten guts for dinner."
She called the Huntsman to her study
She shouted at him, "Listen, buddy,
You drag that filthy girl outside
And see you take her for a ride
Thereafter slit her ribs apart
And bring me back her bleeding heart."
The Huntsman dragged the lovely child
Deep deep into the forest wild
Fearing the worst, poor Snow-White spake
She cried, "Oh please give me a break."
The knife was poised, the arm was strong
She cried again, "I've done no wrong."
The Huntsman's heart began to flutter
It melted like a pound of butter.
He murmured, "Okay, beat it, kid."
And you can bet your life she did.
Later, the Huntsman made a stop
Within the local butcher's shop
And there he bought, for safety's sake
A bullocks heart and one nice steak
"Oh Majesty! Oh Queen," he cried
"That rotten little girl has died.
And just to prove I didn't cheat
I've brought along these bits of meat."
The Queen cried out, "Bravissimo
I trust you killed her nice and slow."
Then (this is the disgusting part)
The Queen sat down and ate the heart
(I only hope she cooked it well
Boiled heart can be as tough as hell)
etc - out of space
