Uploaded June 2026 | Updated September 2026, 1 week ago
Imagine being 16 and being indoctrinated to plan your future around marriage instead of personal growth. This story challenges those old perceptions of worth.
In this episode, Rachel Bernstein sits down with Lindsey Sanders to talk about her memoir, The Sacred Song of a Heretic, and what it means to reclaim "sacredness" outside of a high-control religion.
Lindsey was raised in a multigenerational Mormon family, where she was taught to value obedience, certainty, traditional gender roles, a limited range of acceptable emotions, and avoidance of outside sources of information. As a teenager, a relationship with another girl set off a chain of guilt, parental discipline, and repentance that pushed her to "double down" on her faith.
Then, in 2019–2020, her brothers' decision to leave the church prompted Lindsey to research Mormon history for herself. Within six months, she walked away.
Rachel and Lindsey dive into the long process of deprogramming — therapy, finding the online ex-Mormon community, a C-PTSD diagnosis framed through the lens of religious and spiritual abuse, and Lindsey's perspective on Mormon Church policies toward LGBTQ and trans members.
This is a conversation about indoctrination, identity, leaving a high-control religion, and what healing can look like when you start trusting your own voice again.
Imagine being 16 and being indoctrinated to plan your future around marriage instead of personal growth. This story challenges those old perceptions of worth.
In this episode, Rachel Bernstein sits down with Lindsey Sanders to talk about her memoir, The Sacred Song of a Heretic, and what it means to reclaim "sacredness" outside of a high-control religion.
Lindsey was raised in a multigenerational Mormon family, where she was taught to value obedience, certainty, traditional gender roles, a limited range of acceptable emotions, and avoidance of outside sources of information. As a teenager, a relationship with another girl set off a chain of guilt, parental discipline, and repentance that pushed her to "double down" on her faith.
Then, in 2019–2020, her brothers' decision to leave the church prompted Lindsey to research Mormon history for herself. Within six months, she walked away.
Rachel and Lindsey dive into the long process of deprogramming — therapy, finding the online ex-Mormon community, a C-PTSD diagnosis framed through the lens of religious and spiritual abuse, and Lindsey's perspective on Mormon Church policies toward LGBTQ and trans members.
This is a conversation about indoctrination, identity, leaving a high-control religion, and what healing can look like when you start trusting your own voice again.
