Uploaded June 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 hours ago
This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? Two gay men grew up with traumatic backgrounds, met in college, and immigrated to the US together. They've built stability and security, and now one of them longs to go out and have fun, while the other stays home.
Chapters
00:00 What Happens When a Couple Reaches a Crossroads?
01:30 Who Are They Beyond the Conflict?
03:36 Where Does the Trauma Begin?
05:35 How Does Childhood Violence Echo Into Adult Love?
07:32 What Happens When Coming Out Isn't Safe?
10:08 What Story Did He Grow Up With?
14:47 Can Closeness and Independence Coexist?
18:03 When Does Freedom Feel Like Rejection?
23:22 Are They Fighting Each Other or Their Parents?
30:09 Why Can't They Escape This Control Cycle?
34:56 Why Does Friendship Feel So Threatening?
40:18 What If Spending Time Apart Strengthened the Relationship?
About Where Should We Begin?:
Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others.
About Esther Perel:
Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram.
This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? Two gay men grew up with traumatic backgrounds, met in college, and immigrated to the US together. They've built stability and security, and now one of them longs to go out and have fun, while the other stays home.
Chapters
00:00 What Happens When a Couple Reaches a Crossroads?
01:30 Who Are They Beyond the Conflict?
03:36 Where Does the Trauma Begin?
05:35 How Does Childhood Violence Echo Into Adult Love?
07:32 What Happens When Coming Out Isn't Safe?
10:08 What Story Did He Grow Up With?
14:47 Can Closeness and Independence Coexist?
18:03 When Does Freedom Feel Like Rejection?
23:22 Are They Fighting Each Other or Their Parents?
30:09 Why Can't They Escape This Control Cycle?
34:56 Why Does Friendship Feel So Threatening?
40:18 What If Spending Time Apart Strengthened the Relationship?
About Where Should We Begin?:
Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others.
About Esther Perel:
Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram.
