Uploaded December 2019 | Updated September 2026, 8 minutes ago

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Hello again! You get two uploads from me this week!

This is yet another fill-in day for the Fan Editors Advent Calendar.

I'm sorry I'm uploading a sad video. But, I really do love how this video turned out. I had so much fun editing this, expressing my mixed up thoughts on everything about love. Love hurts sometimes.

Sometimes it's okay to just not be okay, especially when hard things happen. I feel like the last two years has been one bad thing after the next. But, you know what, I'm still here! And if you're reading this, you're still here too! And you know what, we're going to get through all of our hard times! We're going to do it because sometimes, that's all you can do! Keep moving forward, one step at a time.

If you're reading this, know that you are not alone - especially if you're going through hard stuff. As Winston Churchill put it, "If you're going through hell, keep going."

(warning, if you don't want to read this next part, you can skip to the bottom where it says End Emotional Spiel to read details about the video)

-----Emotional Spiel-----

I made this video in response to my mom's husband walking out on my mom and me. It was hard to make this video at the time, because I had so many confused and hurt feelings about the whole thing.

I wish I could say that I'm doing better and that things worked out for the better, that I'm not so freaking confused and lost right now.... Unfortunately, I can't say that... yet.

I hope one day I can get there.

Life's funny, it likes to throw lots of curve balls. Not only did my Mom get divorced this year, but my Dad and Stepmom, who had been married for 19 years, also got divorced this year. I feel like with my mom's husband, I didn't really know him very well(to be honest, I didn't really trust him to begin with). It hurt, but I could step back and say "you know that sucked, but I can be strong through this". But my stepmom.... It just hurts so bad. It's sad to see a 19 year relationship just disappear. I feel like I lost one of my best friends. I lost the person I would call in the middle of the night because I was having problems. I lost the person I would sit and chat with about boys and school and silly things. I lost my other mom. I miss her and it's so hard knowing that she's happy with a new family now...

Anyway...

Summary of everything. I'm one hot mess of a person and I still don't understand anything about love and families.

Where there is great darkness, there is also greater light.

I know that there is still goodness amidst all the bad, sometimes you just have to battle through the swarm of "dementors" and their "fog" and "darkness" before you can see it. My good things include my religious beliefs, really loving friends and family, my cat(because he's a snugly attention seeker, especially when I'm having a cry session - he knows when I need him the most), good music, Harry Potter(it's my go to fandom, though it's not in this video...), and playing my flute.

-----End Emotional Spiel-----

If you read all that, I love you.

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#fanvidfeed #Multicouples #Multifandom #SadMulticouples #Human #PiccoloPhoenix #faneditsadventcalendar #Christmas2019

Song: youtube.com/watch?v=RP9cySFxQvg
Clips: Many fandoms, too many to list. Questions? Just ask away.
Coloring: PiccoloPhoenix
No Copyright Infringement Intended