Uploaded April 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Parents carry their past into their parenting, often without realizing it. In this episode, I sit down with relationship therapist and author Eli Harwood to talk about how emotional baggage forms, how it quietly shows up in the way we respond to our kids, and what it actually looks like to break those patterns in real time. We get honest about triggers, shame, defensiveness, and the parts of ourselves we learned to tuck away long before we ever had children.
Eli breaks down how emotional inheritance works, why our bodies react before our brains catch up, and how to shift from reactive parenting to connected parenting. This isn’t about perfection or never getting activated. It’s about noticing, pausing, and choosing something different so our kids don’t have to carry what we never had support for. If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I passing this on?”, this conversation will help you see the patterns with compassion and give you tools to change the story.
What we talk about:
Why emotional baggage forms and how it shows up in parenting
How your childhood coping strategies become adult triggers
The difference between reacting and responding
Why kids activate the parts of us we haven’t healed
How shame keeps patterns going
Practical steps to interrupt the cycle
Why slowing down is the most powerful parenting tool
How to repair with your child when you slip into old patterns
To connect with Eli Harwood follow her on Instagram @attachmentnerd, check out all her resources at attachmentnerd.com and buy her book “How to Deal with Your ___ So Your Kids Don’t Have To: go.shopmy.us/p-65452604 (paid link)
00:00 – Why Your Kids Feel What You Don’t Heal
00:52 – Introducing Eli Harwood and Her New Book
02:10 – Parenting, Values, and Showing Up in Hard Times
04:14 – Why This Book Focuses on the Parent, Not Just the Child
05:14 – The Core Idea: Deal With Your Stuff So They Don’t Have To
08:31 – The 5 Gifts of a Secure Parent
13:19 – Showing Up in Big and Small Moments
17:54 – Parenting Is Hard, But Your Child Is Not the Burden
22:17 – When Your Stress Spills Onto Your Kids
24:29 – How Insecurity and Self-Doubt Show Up in Parenting
26:32 – Examining Bias Before It Damages Your Relationship
35:24 – Emotional Maturity vs. Emotional Suppression
40:11 – Feeling Rejected by Your Child and What It Really Means
45:47 – Why Community Is Essential for Secure Attachment
48:49 – Where to Begin If You Want to Break Cycles
50:52 – Final Takeaways and How to Connect With Eli
Check out all of the PedsDocTalk Courses for more guidance, tips, and support during parenthood. Visit pedsdoctalk.com/courses
Sign up for the PedsDocTalk newsletter to stay updated on the latest news on all things child health and parenting! Here is the link: pedsdoctalk.com/newsletter
SUBSCRIBE to PedsDocTalkTV to stay up to date! youtube.com/@pedsdoctalk
Listen to The PedsDocTalk Podcast available on all Podcast apps.
Many more resources at pedsdoctalk.com
Shop Dr. Mona's favorite products: shopmy.us/shop/pedsdoctalk?tab=collections (paid link)
FOLLOW ME:
Instagram: instagram.com/pedsdoctalk
Tik Tok: tiktok.com/@pedsdoctalk
Facebook: facebook.com/pedsdoctalk
Keywords: doctor, pediatrician, emotional baggage in parenting, breaking generational patterns, childhood triggers in parents, healing while parenting, how not to pass trauma to kids, conscious parenting tools, emotional regulation for parents, Eli Harwood interview
Parents carry their past into their parenting, often without realizing it. In this episode, I sit down with relationship therapist and author Eli Harwood to talk about how emotional baggage forms, how it quietly shows up in the way we respond to our kids, and what it actually looks like to break those patterns in real time. We get honest about triggers, shame, defensiveness, and the parts of ourselves we learned to tuck away long before we ever had children.
Eli breaks down how emotional inheritance works, why our bodies react before our brains catch up, and how to shift from reactive parenting to connected parenting. This isn’t about perfection or never getting activated. It’s about noticing, pausing, and choosing something different so our kids don’t have to carry what we never had support for. If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I passing this on?”, this conversation will help you see the patterns with compassion and give you tools to change the story.
What we talk about:
Why emotional baggage forms and how it shows up in parenting
How your childhood coping strategies become adult triggers
The difference between reacting and responding
Why kids activate the parts of us we haven’t healed
How shame keeps patterns going
Practical steps to interrupt the cycle
Why slowing down is the most powerful parenting tool
How to repair with your child when you slip into old patterns
To connect with Eli Harwood follow her on Instagram @attachmentnerd, check out all her resources at attachmentnerd.com and buy her book “How to Deal with Your ___ So Your Kids Don’t Have To: go.shopmy.us/p-65452604 (paid link)
00:00 – Why Your Kids Feel What You Don’t Heal
00:52 – Introducing Eli Harwood and Her New Book
02:10 – Parenting, Values, and Showing Up in Hard Times
04:14 – Why This Book Focuses on the Parent, Not Just the Child
05:14 – The Core Idea: Deal With Your Stuff So They Don’t Have To
08:31 – The 5 Gifts of a Secure Parent
13:19 – Showing Up in Big and Small Moments
17:54 – Parenting Is Hard, But Your Child Is Not the Burden
22:17 – When Your Stress Spills Onto Your Kids
24:29 – How Insecurity and Self-Doubt Show Up in Parenting
26:32 – Examining Bias Before It Damages Your Relationship
35:24 – Emotional Maturity vs. Emotional Suppression
40:11 – Feeling Rejected by Your Child and What It Really Means
45:47 – Why Community Is Essential for Secure Attachment
48:49 – Where to Begin If You Want to Break Cycles
50:52 – Final Takeaways and How to Connect With Eli
Check out all of the PedsDocTalk Courses for more guidance, tips, and support during parenthood. Visit pedsdoctalk.com/courses
Sign up for the PedsDocTalk newsletter to stay updated on the latest news on all things child health and parenting! Here is the link: pedsdoctalk.com/newsletter
SUBSCRIBE to PedsDocTalkTV to stay up to date! youtube.com/@pedsdoctalk
Listen to The PedsDocTalk Podcast available on all Podcast apps.
Many more resources at pedsdoctalk.com
Shop Dr. Mona's favorite products: shopmy.us/shop/pedsdoctalk?tab=collections (paid link)
FOLLOW ME:
Instagram: instagram.com/pedsdoctalk
Tik Tok: tiktok.com/@pedsdoctalk
Facebook: facebook.com/pedsdoctalk
Keywords: doctor, pediatrician, emotional baggage in parenting, breaking generational patterns, childhood triggers in parents, healing while parenting, how not to pass trauma to kids, conscious parenting tools, emotional regulation for parents, Eli Harwood interview
