trainerlyra | heart got teeth || joongdok @trainerlyra3 | Uploaded 2 years ago | Updated 1 day ago
OKOK LISTEN I CAN EXPLAIN. HEAR ME OUT. HEAR ME OUT
the wordle today (spoilers) was "choke"
no i'm sorry that was a bad joke. terrible, truly. what actually happened:
so i'm currently having a lil bit of socmed distance bc life is Hard and i was having A Time. so during this time, etsy decided to recommend me this print for a series i'd never heard of. and i was like "wait i know this artist, they liked vrains, if they like this i'll probably like it?" and looked it up. omniscient reader's viewpoint.
i found the webtoon. i binge read the webtoon. i found the webnovel. i binge read the webnovel. and now i've been doing nothing but reading fic of these two for a solid week and a half, and um,
wow. wow!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT THEY ARE IN LOVE. THEY ARE SO IN LOVE? KIM DOKJA WILL BE KILLED BY THE ONE HE LOVES MOST. TELL ME, YOU FOOL, IF I REGRESS, WILL I BE ABLE TO MEET YOU AGAIN? I'M IN PHYSICAL PAIN THINKING ABOUT THEM. EMOTIONAL DAMAGE MEME TIMES A THOUSAN. LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK. i literally can't even talk about it for too long or i start crying. they are soulmates. they deserve.... happiness.... together. i just want to hug them both. i legit cannot express to you how amazing this story is. i thought i was in love with them from just the fact that.... well, like, kim dokja loves this protagonist. he's looked up to him, he's hated him, he's been following him, for so many chapters. that alone had me head over heels for this ship - he is the only one who can understand him so implicitly! there is nobody else who knows his sorrows, his triumphs, his happiness and--
but then it just KEEPS GOING. THERE IS NO END. THEY JUST. KEEP MAKING ME WANT TO DIE. i don't want to spoil too much for once in my descriptions bc i desperately, desperately want everyone to read it for themselves and see exactly what i'm talking about but MOM HOLY FUCK KICKS DOWN YOUR DOOR. READ THIS FUCKING WEBNOVEL. DO NOT BE INTIMIDATED BY THE CHAPTER LENGTH. I PROMISE YOU IT'S WORTH IT. THEY ARE COMPANIONS IN LIFE AND DEATH. LIFE AND DEATH COMPANIONS. I JUST. FAINTS.
so anyways i did this in like an hour using the webtoon (which is also really amazing it's such a good adaptation and you should all read that first to get hooked and then go to the webnovel) and uh. that's it. please rec me joongdok fics. i've probably read it already. but do it anyways. thanks
OKOK LISTEN I CAN EXPLAIN. HEAR ME OUT. HEAR ME OUT
the wordle today (spoilers) was "choke"
no i'm sorry that was a bad joke. terrible, truly. what actually happened:
so i'm currently having a lil bit of socmed distance bc life is Hard and i was having A Time. so during this time, etsy decided to recommend me this print for a series i'd never heard of. and i was like "wait i know this artist, they liked vrains, if they like this i'll probably like it?" and looked it up. omniscient reader's viewpoint.
i found the webtoon. i binge read the webtoon. i found the webnovel. i binge read the webnovel. and now i've been doing nothing but reading fic of these two for a solid week and a half, and um,
wow. wow!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT THEY ARE IN LOVE. THEY ARE SO IN LOVE? KIM DOKJA WILL BE KILLED BY THE ONE HE LOVES MOST. TELL ME, YOU FOOL, IF I REGRESS, WILL I BE ABLE TO MEET YOU AGAIN? I'M IN PHYSICAL PAIN THINKING ABOUT THEM. EMOTIONAL DAMAGE MEME TIMES A THOUSAN. LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK. i literally can't even talk about it for too long or i start crying. they are soulmates. they deserve.... happiness.... together. i just want to hug them both. i legit cannot express to you how amazing this story is. i thought i was in love with them from just the fact that.... well, like, kim dokja loves this protagonist. he's looked up to him, he's hated him, he's been following him, for so many chapters. that alone had me head over heels for this ship - he is the only one who can understand him so implicitly! there is nobody else who knows his sorrows, his triumphs, his happiness and--
but then it just KEEPS GOING. THERE IS NO END. THEY JUST. KEEP MAKING ME WANT TO DIE. i don't want to spoil too much for once in my descriptions bc i desperately, desperately want everyone to read it for themselves and see exactly what i'm talking about but MOM HOLY FUCK KICKS DOWN YOUR DOOR. READ THIS FUCKING WEBNOVEL. DO NOT BE INTIMIDATED BY THE CHAPTER LENGTH. I PROMISE YOU IT'S WORTH IT. THEY ARE COMPANIONS IN LIFE AND DEATH. LIFE AND DEATH COMPANIONS. I JUST. FAINTS.
so anyways i did this in like an hour using the webtoon (which is also really amazing it's such a good adaptation and you should all read that first to get hooked and then go to the webnovel) and uh. that's it. please rec me joongdok fics. i've probably read it already. but do it anyways. thanks
![love who we are with || mep collection 15 [dec parts]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/wC5yrsBzQpc/hqdefault.jpg "love who we are with || mep collection 15 [dec parts]
me in my last mep collection, verbatim: prepare to not see me like at all in december bc im so busy LOL
me now:
i fuckin played myself gfdi
LMAO HOW DID THIS HAPPEN.............I DONT REMEMBER SIGNING UP FOR THIS MANY PARTS BUT IT ALWAYS GOES LIKE THIS......................................i debated letting this go until january but i wanted to upload the ~*last mep collection of the decade*~ so here we are lol
this month i tried doing more multifandom parts but halfway through i was like fug i miss editing datastorm but i got my fill of that in the last week which youll see tomorrow wink
anyways im obsessed with bede/gloria so like my mahina days you will definitely see me editing them a LOT lmao
also that shadamy part was so fun bc the theme was 2010-2014 style and i was like man. i remember when i could do parts this fast LOL i miss those days that fuckin talk to me part was over 100 layers like tf.
theres absolutely not enough datastorm in this collection tho :/// super disappointed in myself. i gotta step it up!!!!!!!!!
but yeah................the decade ends tomorrow and while it brought some great things fuckin good riddance. best things of this decade? easy
1) kyle
2) PCS crew
3) datastorm
bam. wham. incredible
also like having my own money and becoming functional again are up there, ig,
anyways happy new years see you tomorrow for my real send off!!!!!")
![intoxicated || contestshipping [SS for @AnimeRockna ]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/wRxnfWoC-F8/hqdefault.jpg "intoxicated || contestshipping [SS for @AnimeRockna ]
MERRY CHRISTMAS HAPPY HOLIDAYS CELESTE!!!! i had so much fun editing contest for you (i miss them!!), and it was a blast using this song hehe. as soon as i saw it on your playlist i knew!
thank you to alice for hosting the secret santa: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuUlY9BTp_A&ab_channel=Pikachu%27sJukebox
your intro killed me")
![when you said hello || mep collection 21 [2023 part 1]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/yY1t7FGGWNU/hqdefault.jpg "when you said hello || mep collection 21 [2023 part 1]
me the last 2 years: yeah idk i just dont really feel the need to join meps anymore? im content just doing birthdays/occasional friend meps :) i have so much time to make my own edits if i want to and do other things if i dont :)
me this year, flying close to the sun:
truly idk what happened. i was pretty content with my non studio life where i was just vibing but then i joined pikachus jukebox and it all went downhill from there. thanks you guys for ruining my peace
so here we are! heres the first half of this years mep parts. i had fun with a lot of these? there honestly werent many parts this year i didnt enjoy editing. forever and always, i will come back to this hobby LOL i can never escape it. been here too long. like i joke about my irl friendships if it survived through teenage years its stuck to you for good. and truly we are coming up on.......18 years................. of editing.........................? something. like. that. jesus christ almighty. ik i was 7 when i first tried editing but got really into it in. 2006? so i stick to that bc its somehow less embarrassing then explaining ive been terminally online practically since i was out of the womb
more comprehensive list of things this year from the last collection upload:
- didnt publish much fic this year, but im proud of what i did publish!
- that being said i still managed TWO MONTHS of 50k in the month so that was rad af (camp nanowrimo july & nanowrimo). would really like to push for publishing 250k next year
- be a happier person than i am, dont get into jjk. it consumed me entirely
- started therapy again, started taking medication again, who knows how its going, i sure dont
- i finished A LOT of games this year! so many! many a longform rpg which i am particularly proud of
- am almost to my goal of 25 books this year, i think i can make it in the last week :D
- i got diagnosed with eds this year, which solves like 95% of why i was so unlucky with chronic illness/injuries my whole life. everything makes sense now
and thats all i guess LOL this year was very weird and feels very short. not a lot happened but at the same time MANY things happened. ill upload the second part of this collection next week probs as theres a few things that cant be seen yet pff. peace out")
![i miss you, im so sorry || aoi & miyu [vent]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/yv08zn5Smvs/hqdefault.jpg "i miss you, im so sorry || aoi & miyu [vent]
i wake up every morning and part of me feels empty. this week and a few days without you has been a hell that i wasnt ever expecting to have to go through. i know we didnt talk every day; sometimes, we would even go months without speaking much, but since we became close, ive always thought of you like a little sister. you had been through... so many terrible hardships. so much trauma and hurt. and maybe i didnt understand the extent, but i like to think i understood a little. of the feelings.
i wanted to be... something to look forward to, i guess. a nice reminder for you that. that it could get better, that if you just stuck it out just a little longer, it would end up being okay. and i really thought, especially lately, it was okay. it was getting better and things were getting easier for you. we were talking often again, had a group chat going and had even more things to talk about, and school seemed manageable..
ive been rereading messages and trying to figure out where i went wrong. where we all went wrong. was there any signs? did you hide it too well, and so we were left blind sided? to find out that despite getting you into the hospital, despite trying our damn hardest to make sure you were going to be okay, we had failed was... one of the most heartbreaking moments of my life. for hours, i just sat and cried. i couldnt do anything other than that. i couldnt think of anything other than that.
a week later, and im still in shock. every so often, ill just pause what im doing and burst into tears. i miss you, more than youll ever know. more than you can know. because youre gone, and ill never get to tell you how much i cared about you and how important you are to me.
i keep.. wondering if i had done something wrong, if i could have done something differently. i was away for a few days when it happened, so if i had just been on twitter more would i have noticed? would something have changed? these thoughts are constantly on loop in my head.
god. i miss you. i miss talking to you, and laughing with you. you had just caught up on vrains for me, and i loved talking to you about it. i know how much you wanted aoi and miyu to meet again, so i couldnt help but think of them when i was trying to figure out a way to get my feelings out.
i feel like im ready to burst. im too tired to cry half the time because ive barely slept since you died. im trying my hardest to keep it together for myself and for everyone else but its so hard. im tired. im so, so tired. and i miss you. i miss you so much. just knowing there was someone as kind and gentle as you in the world made everyones lives a little bit brighter. you did so much for everyone you talked to, i wish you saw yourself the way we all saw you: as the kind, beautiful soul you were.
i hope youre comfortable now, wherever you are. i hope youre a little happier and a little lighter now. rest in peace, hope. thank you for all your years of friendship. i will never forget you.
[edit] sorry if some of my replies are..lackluster. my energy is practically burnt out. to everyone, though, thank you. it really means so much to me that i have. so many people that care about me and have reached out. seriously, thank you all.")
