Uploaded April 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’d be aware that Australia—and indeed, the world—is facing a fuel crisis. This crisis is entirely man-made: it’s not a lack of fuel, but the fact that someone decided to start a war in the Middle East with “unintended” consequences that even Blind Freddy saw coming from a mile away. But that’s beside the point. I’m not here to debate the finer points of Middle Eastern power dynamics. But unfortunately, we’re all suffering the hangover of someone else’s party.
Of course, there is a domestic angle to this mess. Believe it or not, post-WWII, Australia established a fairly robust domestic refining industry to ensure energy security. By the 1980s, the nation was roughly 70 to 100% self-sufficient in fuel production, operating eight major refineries across nearly every state.
However, since around 2012, many of those refineries started closing—due mainly to labour costs, ageing infrastructure, and competition from high-efficiency refineries in Asia. So now we’re stuck with only two—one in Geelong and one in Brisbane—while we focus all our political energy on solar and wind, the “cheapest” forms of new electricity generation in Australia. But as it turns out, 40-tonne diesel trucks don’t run on a stiff breeze. Not yet, anyway—though I’m sure we’ll find a way to “make sails great again.”
Interestingly, Prime Minister Anthony Albanese—as Leader of the Opposition back in 2020—kind of predicted all of this. He said: “The point of our international obligations is that Australia should have here 90 days available of liquid fuel reserves, so we are significantly in breach… If there’s a sort of international conflict or issues that provide disruption to sea lanes that may well occur at some stage in the future, then that is why nation states need to have this fuel capacity. It’s an issue of national security… the government needs to emerge with a plan for our refining capacity, for storage here, and they’ve been there for seven years.”
It’s easy being in Opposition. Now that he’s been PM for nearly four years, Australia continues to have barely a month of domestic supplies on hand. But don’t worry, Minister for Climate Change Chris Bowen has the answer. As reported by the Financial Review: “EVs help spell the end of large fuel reserves: Bowen.” Yes, during a cost-of-living crisis, all you have to do to save money is go out and buy an expensive Chinese-made electric ute, and all your energy woes will just disappear.
But the latest masterstroke to help you save fuel and money is the Government’s new multi-million dollar ad campaign—paid for, of course, by you, the taxpayer. Taking your money to tell you how to save your money? Brilliant!
As the ABC reported: “Government launches $20m campaign to urge drivers to minimise fuel use.” Twenty million dollars? Just think how many of those Chinese electric utes the Government could have bought with that. Probably about ten, once you’ve paid for all the fact-finding trips and photo-ops in Beijing.
But please, do tell, how do we save fuel in this cost-of-living-housing-and-social-cohesion crisis? Well, according to their website “Fuel saving tips,” they have a whole bunch of ways that you can compensate for their lack of a national security strategy from your own driveway.
They suggest you: look after your vehicle’s tyres; travel light; minimise aerodynamic drag by removing roof racks and spoilers; keep the aircon on low; only fill up with the fuel you “need”; don’t overfill the tank; monitor speed and acceleration; and—my personal favourite—minimise vehicle use by catching the bus or train, or just cycling to the shops.
Whatever you do, don’t point out that “travelling light” is a bit difficult when you’re living out of your car because you can’t afford the rent.
One Nation MP Barnaby Joyce seemed to quite like the new ad. He said: “Now, you wouldn’t be having a stupid ad telling people not to use fuel if we were completely confident we had enough of it here. It’s ridiculous. Remove your roof racks? I mean, is that our policy? Is that our policy to get through the fuel crisis?”
So, there you go. With this brand-new ad campaign, the Government has handed you all the tools you need to survive a global energy emergency. It turns out, you don’t need refineries, strategic reserves, or a sovereign security plan. All you need is a bike pump and a positive attitude.
MUSIC
Allégro by Emmit Fenn
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’d be aware that Australia—and indeed, the world—is facing a fuel crisis. This crisis is entirely man-made: it’s not a lack of fuel, but the fact that someone decided to start a war in the Middle East with “unintended” consequences that even Blind Freddy saw coming from a mile away. But that’s beside the point. I’m not here to debate the finer points of Middle Eastern power dynamics. But unfortunately, we’re all suffering the hangover of someone else’s party.
Of course, there is a domestic angle to this mess. Believe it or not, post-WWII, Australia established a fairly robust domestic refining industry to ensure energy security. By the 1980s, the nation was roughly 70 to 100% self-sufficient in fuel production, operating eight major refineries across nearly every state.
However, since around 2012, many of those refineries started closing—due mainly to labour costs, ageing infrastructure, and competition from high-efficiency refineries in Asia. So now we’re stuck with only two—one in Geelong and one in Brisbane—while we focus all our political energy on solar and wind, the “cheapest” forms of new electricity generation in Australia. But as it turns out, 40-tonne diesel trucks don’t run on a stiff breeze. Not yet, anyway—though I’m sure we’ll find a way to “make sails great again.”
Interestingly, Prime Minister Anthony Albanese—as Leader of the Opposition back in 2020—kind of predicted all of this. He said: “The point of our international obligations is that Australia should have here 90 days available of liquid fuel reserves, so we are significantly in breach… If there’s a sort of international conflict or issues that provide disruption to sea lanes that may well occur at some stage in the future, then that is why nation states need to have this fuel capacity. It’s an issue of national security… the government needs to emerge with a plan for our refining capacity, for storage here, and they’ve been there for seven years.”
It’s easy being in Opposition. Now that he’s been PM for nearly four years, Australia continues to have barely a month of domestic supplies on hand. But don’t worry, Minister for Climate Change Chris Bowen has the answer. As reported by the Financial Review: “EVs help spell the end of large fuel reserves: Bowen.” Yes, during a cost-of-living crisis, all you have to do to save money is go out and buy an expensive Chinese-made electric ute, and all your energy woes will just disappear.
But the latest masterstroke to help you save fuel and money is the Government’s new multi-million dollar ad campaign—paid for, of course, by you, the taxpayer. Taking your money to tell you how to save your money? Brilliant!
As the ABC reported: “Government launches $20m campaign to urge drivers to minimise fuel use.” Twenty million dollars? Just think how many of those Chinese electric utes the Government could have bought with that. Probably about ten, once you’ve paid for all the fact-finding trips and photo-ops in Beijing.
But please, do tell, how do we save fuel in this cost-of-living-housing-and-social-cohesion crisis? Well, according to their website “Fuel saving tips,” they have a whole bunch of ways that you can compensate for their lack of a national security strategy from your own driveway.
They suggest you: look after your vehicle’s tyres; travel light; minimise aerodynamic drag by removing roof racks and spoilers; keep the aircon on low; only fill up with the fuel you “need”; don’t overfill the tank; monitor speed and acceleration; and—my personal favourite—minimise vehicle use by catching the bus or train, or just cycling to the shops.
Whatever you do, don’t point out that “travelling light” is a bit difficult when you’re living out of your car because you can’t afford the rent.
One Nation MP Barnaby Joyce seemed to quite like the new ad. He said: “Now, you wouldn’t be having a stupid ad telling people not to use fuel if we were completely confident we had enough of it here. It’s ridiculous. Remove your roof racks? I mean, is that our policy? Is that our policy to get through the fuel crisis?”
So, there you go. With this brand-new ad campaign, the Government has handed you all the tools you need to survive a global energy emergency. It turns out, you don’t need refineries, strategic reserves, or a sovereign security plan. All you need is a bike pump and a positive attitude.
MUSIC
Allégro by Emmit Fenn
