Uploaded May 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Welcome to today’s Friday Focus: Aboriginal Tunnelling Machines—because, as we all know, there’s nothing more “traditional” in pre-colonial Australia than the 60,000-year-old practice of tunnelling. Isn’t that how they got from the mainland to Tasmania?
A number of you sent this in, so it’s clearly struck a nerve.
Though perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised. According to the ABC back in 2006, “Aboriginal people built water tunnels.” So there you go. I assume that’s where the Romans got the idea for the aqueducts, and presumably how modern-day plumbing came about.
Anyway, the Victorian Government, in its infinite wisdom—having already implemented a statewide Aboriginal Treaty—has found a new way to waste taxpayer money.
On their “Big Build” website regarding the new underground Suburban Rail Loop, they recently declared: “Aboriginal art adorns tunnel boring machines.”
Yes, I’ve been waiting for years for Chinese-made tunnelling machines that will spend most of their lives 26 metres underground to finally showcase the true culture of “Aboriginal tunnelling art.”
Finally, the Victorian Government has listened to the people.
The Herald Sun wasn’t too impressed: “‘Mindless’: Indigenous artist hired to decorate SRL’s underground boring machines.”
What better way to treat traditional Aboriginal art than by grinding it against kilometres of rock and dirt, scratching and scouring it away in the process? What an efficient and virtuous use of taxpayer money.
It would be like hiring a world-class calligrapher to decorate the inside of a woodchipper, or commissioning a hand-painted mural for the underside of a lawnmower.
According to the government’s website, Aboriginal artist Hayden Roberts is a “proud Wurundjeri and Dja Dja Wurrung man” whose piece “Footsteps of the Past” features on the cutterheads of two tunnel boring machines which are set to grind their way through Wurundjeri Woi Wurrung Country.
He said, “Through this piece, I wanted to show how each footprint is part of a greater story that connects us to Country and one another. Seeing something of that size with my artwork on it is a really exciting opportunity for me.”
At least for the first thirty seconds—until the machine starts spinning and turns those footprints into a fine grey powder.
But lastly, some more breaking news from your favourite government: “First Nations-owned company powering tunnel boring machines with renewable energy.”
Yes, it’s comforting to know that while the state budget is spiralling into a black hole, there are billion-dollar tunnels being dug by Chinese-built machines, decorated with soon-to-be-pulverised art, and powered by sunshine and a sense of moral superiority.
I’m sure the taxpayers in the outer suburbs will be thrilled.
And that’s today’s Friday Focus.
MUSIC
Allégro by Emmit Fenn
Welcome to today’s Friday Focus: Aboriginal Tunnelling Machines—because, as we all know, there’s nothing more “traditional” in pre-colonial Australia than the 60,000-year-old practice of tunnelling. Isn’t that how they got from the mainland to Tasmania?
A number of you sent this in, so it’s clearly struck a nerve.
Though perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised. According to the ABC back in 2006, “Aboriginal people built water tunnels.” So there you go. I assume that’s where the Romans got the idea for the aqueducts, and presumably how modern-day plumbing came about.
Anyway, the Victorian Government, in its infinite wisdom—having already implemented a statewide Aboriginal Treaty—has found a new way to waste taxpayer money.
On their “Big Build” website regarding the new underground Suburban Rail Loop, they recently declared: “Aboriginal art adorns tunnel boring machines.”
Yes, I’ve been waiting for years for Chinese-made tunnelling machines that will spend most of their lives 26 metres underground to finally showcase the true culture of “Aboriginal tunnelling art.”
Finally, the Victorian Government has listened to the people.
The Herald Sun wasn’t too impressed: “‘Mindless’: Indigenous artist hired to decorate SRL’s underground boring machines.”
What better way to treat traditional Aboriginal art than by grinding it against kilometres of rock and dirt, scratching and scouring it away in the process? What an efficient and virtuous use of taxpayer money.
It would be like hiring a world-class calligrapher to decorate the inside of a woodchipper, or commissioning a hand-painted mural for the underside of a lawnmower.
According to the government’s website, Aboriginal artist Hayden Roberts is a “proud Wurundjeri and Dja Dja Wurrung man” whose piece “Footsteps of the Past” features on the cutterheads of two tunnel boring machines which are set to grind their way through Wurundjeri Woi Wurrung Country.
He said, “Through this piece, I wanted to show how each footprint is part of a greater story that connects us to Country and one another. Seeing something of that size with my artwork on it is a really exciting opportunity for me.”
At least for the first thirty seconds—until the machine starts spinning and turns those footprints into a fine grey powder.
But lastly, some more breaking news from your favourite government: “First Nations-owned company powering tunnel boring machines with renewable energy.”
Yes, it’s comforting to know that while the state budget is spiralling into a black hole, there are billion-dollar tunnels being dug by Chinese-built machines, decorated with soon-to-be-pulverised art, and powered by sunshine and a sense of moral superiority.
I’m sure the taxpayers in the outer suburbs will be thrilled.
And that’s today’s Friday Focus.
MUSIC
Allégro by Emmit Fenn
