Uploaded March 2021 | Updated September 2026, 2 hours ago

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Don't Ask track 03. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: archive.org/details/filk_dont_ask
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Lyrics:

A dog is barking at the moon with his eyes turned up toward space
Another joins him very soon in the yard next to your place
You could call their owner on the phone and give him hell also,
But you know they'll stop the second that the fellow says,

“Hello? No, my dogs ain't makin' no noise.
Hell, no, Lucille and Godzilla are asleep in their doghouse.
Wassamatter? Why you lousy...”

Chorus:
Drip by drip, the faucet's leak
Drives you nuts
Drives you nuts
Cats that yowl and walls that creak
Mangy mutts
Noisy mutts
If I had the cash to do it, I'd move to Timbuktu
Think about it; so would you
Split splat spluts
Split splat spluts

The neighbor's cat's in heat again and that probably is why
She's singing from Aida as old boots go whizzing by
A garbage truck comes down the street with a noise to wake the dead
They'll take their break and park it eighteen inches from your bed.

“Nah, Charlie. You don't want to shut it off.
It, uh, it's fine. Just uh, just let 'er run.”

(Chorus)

The floor is creaking down below; you hear it, but it's faint
Perhaps it is a burglar—then again, perhaps it ain't.
The radiator starts to bang, and the plumbing joins the din
Just when you think you've had enough, those dogs start up again!

(Chorus)