Uploaded December 2018 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago

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Of all the deceptions and agendas we strive to expose, perhaps the evasive thing to try and uncover, is the parts of ourselves that we don't want to see...

Far easier to fix our gave somewhere else.

Anywhere else...

We long to see change in the world, change in the people around us, but staying focused on allowing God to change our own hearts, above all else, is probably the most difficult aspect of Faith, in the end...

At least that has proven true in my own life.

It's easy to preach about Forgiveness, but so much harder to live it out. To let go of all the ways that you've been wounded by others. To have joy in the fact that your sin was paid for at the cross, even while many of the earthly consequences of that sin might still remain...

All I know is that analyzing the endless machinations of the Enemy, does not bring me Peace.

Debunking every falsehood I encounter, doesn't ultimately make the demands of God's Truth on my life any easier.

Finding ways to express myself creatively, and have other people see and listen, doesn't give me a lasting sense of worth...

It's easy to convince ourselves that exposing massive deceptions, such as the Lie of Evolution, is the key to freeing people to see what their true value is.

And while I certainly don't deny the immense breakthrough that can come when a person finally realizes that they are not the result of billions of years of random changes, not the by-product of galactic collisions and chemical reactions, powered by mysterious invisible physical laws....

But even after you step into the arena of confessing that there has to be some kind of God, some kind of Creator, the questions of meaning, and worth, and purpose, become almost more difficult than when you believed there was nothing but a cold, impersonal universe staring back at you...

Because now, you are exposed.

Regardless of what the true realities about the cosmos and Creation may be, regardless of all the questions about the shape of the earth, or the mechanics of the heavens, or what the "building blocks" of reality might be, one thing can no longer be denied. We all live in a realm where the deepest corners of our hearts, and every thought and action we've made in our entire lives, is naked before God...

It is such a simple Truth, but perhaps one of the most difficult to live in, on a consistent basis, because it's either gloriously beautiful, or horrifically terrifying, depending on where your heart is at that particular moment.

And so while we may take great comfort, (or even pride), in knowing that we are not just an "insignificant speck, suspended in a sunbeam", as Carl Sagan put it... That we aren't just hairless apes hitchhiking on a rock as it hurtles through a vast expanse of paradoxically controlled chaos, trying to find our own meaning, in a meaningless universe...

I have been brought to the painful and ironic conclusion that I am still capable of embracing the same empty void, the same mindset of endlessly floating through strange nebulas of the mind, and alien worlds that still exist in my heart.

This fallen world and all the lies it contains, is itself an unfathomably vast universe of media to filter, evidence to weigh, and narratives to unravel. And countless more lies are created every single day.

Is it better to tumble down rabbit holes, instead of tumbling through empty space...?

Do I still try to find ways to hide from God, even if the Firmament is some kind of ceiling, and not a directionless pit...?

Do I really find my worth in Him, and Him alone, in the face of all my circumstances, and the sting of all my failures...?

Do I live a life being exposed before Him, caring more about the value only He can give me, than all the things I cannot control, or understand...?