Uploaded September 2011 | Updated September 2026, 1 day ago

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Shock G tells us a tale of how he survived the testes tournament fight for life. Taken from The Greenlight EP released May 2010 discogs.com/Digital-Underground-The-Greenlight-EP/release/2341072

Lyrics:
Chorus (x4):
I used to be a sperm
Was it fun? Nah, it was "Hurry up, run!"

Verse 1:
Many years ago I was a sperm in a ball
In a really great nation, 100 million strong
And everybody's waiting for the big day
When they open up the main gate and let us go play
It only happens once in a lifetime
A chance to go to heaven and in ball land heaven means the egg
Then out of a hundred million of us only one gets to dip in
Can you imagine the competition?
An all out bloody war to the finish line
My man Al, he was swimming in a squiggly line
I'm like "Hey cap', why you zigzagging like that?"
He said, "I was raised Baptist and this is what we practice
I'm trying to go to heaven, look at page 77
It says the zig zag line is divine"
I'm like, "Aii chill, whatever's clever. Me, I got a different plan
I'm swimming in a straight line fast as I can, peace"
After that I see my girl Reese, fine as f*ck
But she was swimming in a circle like she stuck
I'm like, "Reese, what up with it, why you not running?"
She said that "I'm a Christian, and running is a sin"
I said, "What about the egg, baby? What about survival?"
She said, "You better slow it down Greg, have you read the Bible?"
"Yeah, and the Qu'ran and the Colour Purple
But I strongly suggest 'swim straight, not a circle'"
She said that I'm a heathen and I'm having too much fun
But I left her standing there 'cos I gotta keep running

Chorus x2

Verse 2:
Then, I run into this brother named Penn
Said suicide and holy wars is how you get in
Reminded me of Al a little bit except without the perm
I got away from Penn he was killing other sperms
Germs! I noticed on my left but I kept racing
They had a flag said Gonorrhea Nation
Expressions on their face was ugly, plus they smell bad
I was glad when I see my man Brad
I'm like "Brad, what up with it, why you not running?"
"I just become a Mormon won't be doing any running anymore"
Oh no, another bro bites the dust
He said, "Have you met Jesus yet?"
I said, "I gotta go, I'm in a rush"
You won't find the egg like that
Originally it was a curse if you're black, ooooh
I should have slapped that cat, dropped that cat
But I ain't got time to stop like that
How could he be so lost like that?
Back to the race, I get to the main gate first
But I pause cos I read about the nations that was lost
To a titty or an ass f*ck, imagine it
Joke was on them, they were swimming around in shit
Another 100 million of us was dead when they found 'em
Died from the spermicide up inside a condom
Cats is on my heels, I gotta think fast, I guess it looks safe
Left the shaft on my world, went out in pink space
And there it was, as beatiful as all God
The mighty egg, woo! Glad I wasn't no blowjob

Chorus x3