Desire in Long-Term Relationships @estherperel

Uploaded June 2026 | Updated September 2026, 15 hours ago

What is emotionally secure is not necessarily sexually exciting. These are two different sets of needs.

I created two desire courses to help you rekindle and play with desire. Learn more here: estherperel.com/the-desire-bundle?utm_campaign=VDay&utm_medium=social

$Does an Unraveling Family Business Mean Losing My Brothers: Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel On this weeks episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: She’s watching the company she co-founded unravel—strained partnerships, family entanglements, and the weight of guilt, anger, and responsibility pulling her in every direction. Now she wants to ask Esther: how can she protect her relationship with her brothers whom shes in business with, but still free herself to move on to what’s next? Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Overview 01:08 The Business Dilemma 05:17 Family Dynamics at Work 09:42 Personal Reflections and Conflicts 12:57 Navigating Professional and Personal Boundaries 22:22 Facing the Reality of Failure 25:07 Realizing the Impact of Language on Accountability 26:09 Balancing Professional and Personal Relationships 27:48 Navigating Familial Expectations and Professional Roles 30:06 Reflecting on Personal Responsibility and Blame 31:22 Understanding the Influence of Family Dynamics 38:49 Exploring Past Relationships and Personal Growth 43:01 Planning Future Conversations with Family 46:44 Final Thoughts and Next Steps About Where Should We Begin?: Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. About Esther Perel: Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram.$

The Public Obsession With JFK Jr. and Carolyn Bessettes Relationship

$In This Relationship What Is I and What is We? | Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? Two gay men grew up with traumatic backgrounds, met in college, and immigrated to the US together. Theyve built stability and security, and now one of them longs to go out and have fun, while the other stays home. Chapters 00:00 What Happens When a Couple Reaches a Crossroads? 01:30 Who Are They Beyond the Conflict? 03:36 Where Does the Trauma Begin? 05:35 How Does Childhood Violence Echo Into Adult Love? 07:32 What Happens When Coming Out Isnt Safe? 10:08 What Story Did He Grow Up With? 14:47 Can Closeness and Independence Coexist? 18:03 When Does Freedom Feel Like Rejection? 23:22 Are They Fighting Each Other or Their Parents? 30:09 Why Cant They Escape This Control Cycle? 34:56 Why Does Friendship Feel So Threatening? 40:18 What If Spending Time Apart Strengthened the Relationship? About Where Should We Begin?: Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. About Esther Perel: Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram.$ $Am I Being Gaslit? | Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel In this classic Esther Calling, Esther talks to a woman looking for clarity on whether shes being overly sensitive to her partners critiques or if he is, in fact, gaslighting her. She has struggled with boundary setting before and she wonders if she is repeating the pattern here. Chapters 00:00 What Does Loneliness Really Feel Like? 01:05 What Question Brings Him Here? 03:16 Why Did Dating Get Harder After Moving? 06:15 Are Apps Making Him Feel More Alone? 08:47 What Did He Lose When He Left Home? 11:21 What Is He Really Looking For? 18:26 Is Anonymous Sex Filling the Wrong Need? 19:07 What Role Did His Family Teach Him to Play? 25:18 How Do You Learn to Ask for Care? 33:58 Why Did He Leave Cape Town? 35:36 What Happens When Your Church Rejects You? 42:10 Where Does Healing Begin? About Where Should We Begin?: Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. About Esther Perel: Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by subscribing to her Substack, Entre Nous, for bonus content.$

Esther Perel Tells Leah Smart of LinkedIn News Her Favorite Workplace Advice

Celebrating the Holidays in a New Way, According to Esther Perel

$A Secret I Cant Even Tell My Therapist Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel On this weeks episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: Their marriage was turbulent and the divorce is now two years behind her—but she still can’t let him go. Torn between the part of her that knows it was unhealthy and the part that still longs for him, she’s preparing to see her ex again, keeping it a secret from everyone—including her therapist. Esther helps her delve into the importance of reconciling the different parts of herself and the role of her current therapist in her journey. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Context 00:34 The Emotional Crossroads 04:28 Revisiting the Past 06:59 The Logical vs. Emotional Conflict 23:47 Childhood and Emotional Enmeshment 26:55 Reconciling the Two Voices 30:20 Seeking Closure and Moving Forward 42:31 Final Thoughts and Goodbye About Where Should We Begin?: Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. About Esther Perel: Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram.$

Esther Perel Says We Got This Wrong About the Loneliness Epidemic

When You No Longer Participate in a Past Tradition