Uploaded December 2009 | Updated September 2026, 21 hours ago

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Angssssssst. Personal angst.
Every memory you have is precious; the good and the bad. We all want to block out the periods of our life we hate or regret, to bleach out the colour and let them fade away...
I was so selfish.
I thought she was trying to get attention, telling us about how she hurt herself and how upset she was. We argued, fought over nothing whatsoever, but at least smoothed it all over in the end...
But on the 4th of January she said goodbye after school, walked off in the other direction, home. And I never saw her again.
Worst of it was, I didn't believe it the next day. A guy in my class told me what he'd managed to dredge from the countless rumours, on our way to the hall we'd been told to gather in, walking from our register. He didn't know who had died- and neither did I, until they said her name.
They wouldn't tell me why. They said it was an accident, and I assumed that because of the ice maybe her car had been in a wreck or something; part of me didn't want to know the details.
And, last month, my mum found me with the paper, pushed it into my lap, pointed at a section a few pages in and squashed at the bottom of the page.
"That's horrible," was all she could say.
I know how she died, and it's... just distressing to think of what she did, even now. I don't really want to say what she did to herself, and I'm really sorry I dumped this pile of misery on you guys.
Dedicated in loving memory of my "Lucy", who I couldn't make this for well enough to drag it out until her... date of passing, however you want to say it.
Lightning is me in the present and up till a year ago. Namine is the same person- three years ago; Serah a year and a half; and Vanille around November '08.
Tifa is the lovely, late Sophie; and Kairi/Xion, Garnet, and Lenne respectively.
Cid Rayne [think that's spelt right] is used to represent Jack, who first told me that "Some girl had died from our year"; those were his exact words.
Hope is Charlie, my little brother, who I lashed out at and argued with when I was at my worst; I know you probably don't remember anymore, but no nine year old deserves the hell I put you through last January, and I'm so unbearably sorry.
Rikku and Yuna are just there... to represent a few people. I don't have specific roles in mind, but they could be quite a few of my friends. D:
Following the lyrics should be enough...

Oh, and the big pink tinted gap? Vegas didn't want to render that clip. I tried three times but it wouldn't work and I didn't have much to put there. Some parts might be flipped the wrong way around; I guess I forgot.