Uploaded August 2022 | Updated September 2026, 1 hour ago

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Tapeworm I track 4. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: archive.org/details/filk_tapeworm_1
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Lyrics:

O Lord, Thou hast made this con an auction runner’s dream.
And given time I’d sell it all, right down to the film room screen.
From charcoal sketch to color print, I sell them all, O Lord:
Predestined from the time the pencil hits the drawing board.

These artists are inspired with a gift I’ll never know.
They send their marvels down to me, and I’m pleased to have it so.
For though their artwork warms the soul, their humble gift to Thee,
I know what truly moves this shit are my auctions, Lord, and me.

I know Thy market’s very very wide, and the auction room is small.
But those who dare to come inside I hoodwink, one and all.
Their judgement crumbles to my skill; they bid at my command.
I hit them with a hundred tricks they rarely understand.

Behold these prints and sculpture work that fill the art show floor.
I’ll sell them all for the highest bid and leave them wanting more.
And fools they be who fail to see why I hold my auctions here,
For the art show room is a warehouse razed by the skill of the auctioneer.

Going, going, gone!