53: Why Woman Self-Abandon for Men. On Pick-meisha Culture. @OUTHERETRYNASURVIVE

Uploaded July 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago

Everyone is calling Melanie and Anaya “Pick Mes.”

But I think we’re asking the wrong question.

Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with these women?”

What if we asked…

How do women become so disconnected from themselves that they’re willing to choose someone else over their own well-being?

In this episode, I unpack Love Island, Pick Me culture, purity culture, patriarchy, and my own story of self-abandonment.

Because I’ve been there too.

If you’ve ever ignored red flags, waited to be chosen, chased breadcrumbs, or abandoned yourself in the name of love…

this conversation is for you.

❤️ Topics Covered:
• Love Island USA
• Pick Me culture
• Self-abandonment
• Healing after unhealthy relationships
• Purity culture
• Patriarchy
• Emotional healing
• Black womanhood
• Boundaries
• Choosing yourself

✨ Get the Out Here Tryna Survive Journal:

https://stan.store/GraceSandra

53: Why Woman Self-Abandon for Men. On Pick-meisha Culture.

Getting a hate message anonymously is WILD & unhinged. #ohtspodcast

$Y’all not finna gaslight me into mourning a fashy. | #ohtspodcast Epi 30 🫶🏽The Body Keeps the Score -https://amzn.to/4ntfoTZ 🫶🏽The Myth of Normal - https://amzn.to/3KrvU8E The feed won’t stop. One more video of a life ending, one more thread turning human pain into content—and our nervous systems keep paying the price. I’m talking frankly about what it’s like to be inundated by violent imagery, how selective empathy fractures trust, and why we need boundaries that protect our peace without blurring our values. I share personal updates from a year of real healing—therapy, Gabor Maté’s The Myth of Normal, The Body Keeps the Score, long walks, and a stubborn commitment to more joy. Then we get into the hard stuff: the public reaction to Charlie Kirk’s death, the gulf between tone and truth, and how civility can be used to launder harm. We unpack why scripture, read inductively, centers the poor, the immigrant, and the vulnerable—and how that lens challenges Christian nationalism’s power plays. We also take on gun violence and why “more guns at schools” is a fear industry talking point, not a safety plan. Most importantly, we map a path back to center. Practical tools include turning off violent videos while staying informed, restructuring your algorithm, claiming a weekly reset day, and using diaphragmatic breathing to steady your body before you act. We talk about following Black women’s leadership for moral clarity, building micro-environments you can control, and treating joy as a strategy that keeps you resourced for the long haul. If you’ve felt torn between staying engaged and staying sane, this conversation offers honest language, grounded perspective, and a plan you can start today. If this resonated, subscribe, share with a friend who needs a reset, and leave a review so more people can find the show. Your support helps this community grow—and helps all of us keep showing up with clear eyes and steady hearts.$

Men are afraid of the Matriarchy 🤦🏽‍♀️ #ohtspodcast

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