Uploaded May 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago

---

Buy my debut book
https://linktr.ee/HealthySBTH

Most of us are far kinder to strangers than we are to ourselves. We offer warmth, patience, and understanding to everyone around us, and yet when we struggle, we reach for the harshest possible voice. Why is that? And more importantly, what can we do about it?


This week on Live Well Be Well, we are exploring the profound and life-changing power of self-compassion, bringing together five extraordinary voices:


- Dr. Kristen Neff, whose 20 years of research built the scientific foundation of self-kindness;
- Professor Paul Gilbert, founder of Compassion-Focused Therapy;
- Philosopher and author Alain de Botton;
- Bestselling author Oliver Burkeman;
- and gut health physician Dr. Will Bulsiewicz.

We dive deep into the biological and psychological reasons why we fight ourselves, and how shifting from a "threat" mindset to one of "care" can fundamentally change our health. This conversation isn't about being "soft", it’s about the hard science of how self-compassion makes us more resilient, more motivated, and more connected to our shared human experience.

Here’s what we explore together:

- The Three Pillars of Self-Compassion: Dr. Kristen Neff explains why you need kindness, mindfulness, and a sense of shared humanity to truly heal.
- Hacking the Nervous System: Professor Paul Gilbert discusses how to move from a "fight, flight, or freeze" response into a "tend and befriend" state.
- The Origins of the Inner Critic: Alain de Botton reveals how we internalize the voices of authority from our past and how to start a "goodbye ceremony" to those that no longer serve us.
- The Physicality of Kindness: Dr. Will Bulsiewicz shares the surprising link between our internal dialogue and our physical wellbeing, specifically our gut health.
- Moving Past the "Cringe": Oliver Burkeman discusses how to embrace the awkwardness of being kind to yourself in a world that prizes productivity above all else.

Love,
Sarah Ann 💛
***

This episode is sponsored by:

DIOME: Rest deeper. Stay grounded.
Rested is available now and Grounded lands later this month.
👉 Get 20% off with code SARAH20 at DIOME.CO

NOWATCH: The compassionate health tracker
Connecting body and mind with unique stress recovery insights so you can live fully today
15% off with code LWBW15 at nowatch.com

***

The Great British Veg Out
How to support your gut, energy, and hormones by eating more — not less.
👉 sarahmacklin.substack.com/p/the-great-british-veg-out

Reset Your Health
If your body feels off after stress, travel, or burnout — this is where to start.
👉 sarahmacklin.substack.com/s/reset-your-health-in-30-days

👉 Practical beats perfect.
Here’s a free 5-recipe PDF I use to support energy and stress during busy weeks.
open.substack.com/pub/sarahmacklin/p/download-your-free-5-recipes-to-relieve

👉 If this resonates, you can join the thousands who read
The Compassionate Cure each week. sarahmacklin.substack.com

***

Let’s be friends!
📷 Instagram: instagram.com/sarahannmacklin
📹 Subscribe:youtube.com/@livewellbewellsarah
🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/SarahAnnMacklin
📱 TikTok: tiktok.com/@livewellbewellpodcast
💌 Newsletter: sarahmacklin.substack.com

***

If You Enjoyed This Episode, You Might Also Like:

The #1 BETTER HEALTH Technique You Never Knew Existed! Dr Kristin Neff
youtu.be/jKq069w4rjI

Why Compatibility is Overrated: Alain de Botton’s Guide to Relationships That Last | Alain De Botton
youtu.be/eTbA81qNYt4

***

Sign up to Sarah’s Compassionate Cure newsletter:
Science Simplified, Health Humanised.
Join thousands in exploring actionable insights that prioritise compassion, clarity, and real-life impact.
sarahmacklin.substack.com

***
Highlights

00:00:00 Intro
00:04:25 Dr. Kristen Neff: The three elements of self-compassion
00:07:34 Why our nervous system defaults to self-criticism
00:10:17 The "What would I say to a friend?" reframe
00:13:31 Why self-compassion is a more effective motivator than criticism
00:15:24 Alain de Botton: the inner critical voice and where it comes from
00:18:17 Why some believe harsh self-talk drives them forward
00:21:41 Oliver Burkeman: a personal journey through self-compassion
00:25:25 How childhood patterns shape the way we treat ourselves
00:29:48 The missing step in optimization and productivity culture
00:33:03 Prof. Paul Gilbert: compassionate self vs the compassionate mind
00:36:53 Dr. Will Bulsiewicz: gut health is about far more than food

***

Love what you’re hearing?
My small ask is to please rate and review Live Well Be Well. This helps the show expand and allows me to keep producing these with the best quality guests. It means a huge amount to me, so thank you.