Uploaded January 2015 | Updated September 2026, 2 hours ago

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Mario, as a character, is an oddity. He’s a plumber that has an issue with losing the ladies to apes and giant turtle... dragon... things. Seriously, is there another character whose girlfriends get kidnapped as regularly as Mario’s? If this were happening in real life, we’d be checking Mario’s basement for a pit where he’s lowering lotion to women in a basket. I’m not saying that I’m a wiz with the ladies, mind you, but at least I don’t have his issues. Must be a rough life.