Uploaded September 2022 | Updated September 2026, 1 hour ago
From working with one of rock's most influential bands KISS to being a Florida Supreme Court Family Law Mediator, Mary a Licensed mental health counsellor, is here to wake us up from the codependent funk.
Today we cover:
// What is codependency?
// How Ted Bundy utilised codependency to trap his victims.
// Why healing codependency is a matter of survival.
// Why codependency is a form of self-harm.
// The narcissist / codependent attraction.
// How do you know if you’re the narcissist or the codependent party?
// How codependents & narcissists use people to medicate themselves.
// How to undo a lifetime of codependent habits and learn to set healthy boundaries.
// Steps to take to avoid relapsing into codependency.
// The difference between compassion and compulsion when setting boundaries as a codependent & the role of the vagus nerve.
// The difference between collaborating and compromising.
// How to leave a codependent relationship you can’t save.
Find Mary winterhavencounseling.com
✨ Don’t be a stranger:
• 🎙️ Thinking about starting your own podcast? My membership at (https://getyourpodcastdone.com) getyourpodcastdone.com (http://getyourpodcastdone.com) will help you actually do the thing - without the overwhelm.
• 📬 Want the good stuff I don’t share anywhere else? Hop on my email list (forms.angie-s.com/sign-up)
• ❤️ If this episode made you think, laugh, or roll your eyes (in a good way), you can support the show here (https://to4ts.captivate.fm/support) . It helps keep the mics on.
• The podcast host I swear by: Captivate (https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=angiesorensen)
• 💌 Old school and want to just say hi? Contact me here (angie-s.com/contact)
*Affiliate link alert: I get a tiny kickback if you sign up. Think of it as buying me a fancy coffee. ☕️
From working with one of rock's most influential bands KISS to being a Florida Supreme Court Family Law Mediator, Mary a Licensed mental health counsellor, is here to wake us up from the codependent funk.
Today we cover:
// What is codependency?
// How Ted Bundy utilised codependency to trap his victims.
// Why healing codependency is a matter of survival.
// Why codependency is a form of self-harm.
// The narcissist / codependent attraction.
// How do you know if you’re the narcissist or the codependent party?
// How codependents & narcissists use people to medicate themselves.
// How to undo a lifetime of codependent habits and learn to set healthy boundaries.
// Steps to take to avoid relapsing into codependency.
// The difference between compassion and compulsion when setting boundaries as a codependent & the role of the vagus nerve.
// The difference between collaborating and compromising.
// How to leave a codependent relationship you can’t save.
Find Mary winterhavencounseling.com
✨ Don’t be a stranger:
• 🎙️ Thinking about starting your own podcast? My membership at (https://getyourpodcastdone.com) getyourpodcastdone.com (http://getyourpodcastdone.com) will help you actually do the thing - without the overwhelm.
• 📬 Want the good stuff I don’t share anywhere else? Hop on my email list (forms.angie-s.com/sign-up)
• ❤️ If this episode made you think, laugh, or roll your eyes (in a good way), you can support the show here (https://to4ts.captivate.fm/support) . It helps keep the mics on.
• The podcast host I swear by: Captivate (https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=angiesorensen)
• 💌 Old school and want to just say hi? Contact me here (angie-s.com/contact)
*Affiliate link alert: I get a tiny kickback if you sign up. Think of it as buying me a fancy coffee. ☕️

![#086: When Self-Help Goes Horribly Wrong and How To Prevent It. Feat. Ginny and Jean Brown
What led to the death of 3 individuals seeking to better their life and looking for enlightenment at a James Arthur Ray 5-day event?
Ray was made famous by the movie The Secret and being featured several times on the Oprah Winfrey show.
Together with Kirby Brown’s mother Ginny, a licensed clinical social worker and her sister Jean, we discuss the perfect storm that led to that tragedy, their mission to stop it from ever happening to anyone else and how self-help can be done safely.
We cover:
+ How strong minded people can fall victim to the self-help industry.
+ Tools and dirty tactics used by the self-help industry.
+ What may have contributed to James Ray’s situation.
+ How to not collapse after grief.
+ The legal system is not yet equipped to advocate for the families of [Self-help gone wrong] victims.
+ How to find self-help organisations that have pledged to do no harm and signed [The Promise].
+ What has changed for them in how they perceive life after Kirby’s passing.
*Content note: this episode contains sensitive content, discretion is advised*
Mentioned in this episode: Guru: The Dark Side of Enlightenment podcast (https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/guru-the-dark-side-of-enlightenment/id1518839824)
You can find Seek Safely at: https://www.seeksafely.org/
The list of red flags: https://www.seeksafely.org/consumers/
The book https://www.seeksafely.org/this-sweet-life-book/
Social @seeksafely
✨ Don’t be a stranger:
• 🎙️ Thinking about starting your own podcast? My membership at (https://getyourpodcastdone.com) getyourpodcastdone.com (http://getyourpodcastdone.com) will help you actually do the thing - without the overwhelm.
• 📬 Want the good stuff I don’t share anywhere else? Hop on my email list (https://forms.angie-s.com/sign-up)
• ❤️ If this episode made you think, laugh, or roll your eyes (in a good way), you can support the show here (https://to4ts.captivate.fm/support) . It helps keep the mics on.
• The podcast host I swear by: Captivate (https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=angiesorensen)
• 💌 Old school and want to just say hi? Contact me here (https://www.angie-s.com/contact)
*Affiliate link alert: I get a tiny kickback if you sign up. Think of it as buying me a fancy coffee. ☕️
If you have been affected and need to talk to someone below are some helplines:
UK:
• https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/crisis-services/helplines-listening-services/
Europe:
• https://www.mhe-sme.org/library/helplines/
USA:
• American Foundation of Suicide Prevention
• Suicide and Depression Awareness for Student
• NAMI Resources on Suicide Prevention
• NAMI Resources on Suicide Risk
• National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1-800-273- 8255
• Crisis Textline - Text HOME to 741741 #086: When Self-Help Goes Horribly Wrong and How To Prevent It. Feat. Ginny and Jean Brown](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/UTgL0U_Rafo/mqdefault.jpg)








